pooh
04-03-08, 18:05
Hello!
It's been an eye opener this afternoon reading the experiences of others. I'm not too sure how I feel right now, amazed, reassured, anxious and overwhelmed are just a few.
Reading the causes and symptoms, with cigarette in one hand and red bull in the other, and a bag of marshmallows in case I got hungry, thinking I can't remember the last time I ate a bit of fruit, there began a bit of a realisation that physically I just might be creating the perfect environment for my panic to develop.
Historically, I've lived with anxiety all my life. Oddly enough I believed for a long time that the higher my anxiety levels were the less likely it was that anything bad would happen.I taught myself that extreme anxiety was a good thing. Is it any wonder I've spent most of my adult life experiencing increased panic attacks and anxiety that has become completely debilitating.
And so here I am.... off work last thursday because I had a horrendous panic attack, throwing up, feeling like I'm going to pass out, the sensation of free falling in a vacuum of terror, its been peaking and troughing for six days now. Thank goodness I can laugh today about how I set myself off on another panic attack by thinking about the earth rotating and not being attached to anything. It wasn't funny yesterday.
And I know... i'll have to go back to my doctor most likely go back on seroxat and ask him please do not send me back to that counsellor, the one that wore a terribly formal suit and was teaching me EFT. That I didn't feel I could really open up to, that I broke down hysterically with during one session and never went back.
And not to feel alone...... for that I just have to say hello!
It's been an eye opener this afternoon reading the experiences of others. I'm not too sure how I feel right now, amazed, reassured, anxious and overwhelmed are just a few.
Reading the causes and symptoms, with cigarette in one hand and red bull in the other, and a bag of marshmallows in case I got hungry, thinking I can't remember the last time I ate a bit of fruit, there began a bit of a realisation that physically I just might be creating the perfect environment for my panic to develop.
Historically, I've lived with anxiety all my life. Oddly enough I believed for a long time that the higher my anxiety levels were the less likely it was that anything bad would happen.I taught myself that extreme anxiety was a good thing. Is it any wonder I've spent most of my adult life experiencing increased panic attacks and anxiety that has become completely debilitating.
And so here I am.... off work last thursday because I had a horrendous panic attack, throwing up, feeling like I'm going to pass out, the sensation of free falling in a vacuum of terror, its been peaking and troughing for six days now. Thank goodness I can laugh today about how I set myself off on another panic attack by thinking about the earth rotating and not being attached to anything. It wasn't funny yesterday.
And I know... i'll have to go back to my doctor most likely go back on seroxat and ask him please do not send me back to that counsellor, the one that wore a terribly formal suit and was teaching me EFT. That I didn't feel I could really open up to, that I broke down hysterically with during one session and never went back.
And not to feel alone...... for that I just have to say hello!