Well All...

[fifi]

Just wanted to say it's funny how this illness ebbs and flows.

A month ago I was feeling as low as I possibly could, everything was an uphill battle, socialising on every level was difficult, I posted what I thought at the time was a jokey thread, (for those of you that didn't read it; Fear of emo's, I'm sure everybody has!) but, which turned out to be highly controversial, and as anybody knows who suffers with social phobia, upsetting anybody on any level is a hugely unsettling and disturbing trauma.

Well.... after reading all the responses, common sense kicked in.... you can't please all of the people all of the time.. to keep everybody happy all of the time is unrealistic. And actually I realised that up until getting ill, I had always been quite controversial and not afraid to speak my mind when I felt the occassion warranted it. (don't get me wrong, all of you out there that were offended by what I wrote.. It was never intended as some people took it) BUT, it enabled me to put it into perspective , and... I survived it! and even better still carried that thinking into my everyday life with very positive results.

I guess what I'm trying to say is; with this illness we are always so worried about what everbody else thinks about us, and when in the grips of this it's hard to see that you too are entitled to your opinions. And Okay your not going to please everybody all of the time, but hey.... That's Life!

Fifi

[Gryphoenix]

Wise words.

I'm not too social phobic (or haven't been in awhile) but I have my moments (many of them) and one of my biggest social fears is upsetting people and accidentally causing controversy.

I've seen so many flame wars on the internet over such little misunderstandings I'm afraid something I post will be taken the wrong way and here we go again. I've had only one or two bad comments in my online life and even though I know I shouldn't care and there are such thing as trolls and misunderstandings, it bothered me like the entire day. I can't stand confrontations, I fall to pieces.

So for you to be able to go through this and come out the other end with positivity and great advice is so encouraging.

[Lilith1980]

Hey Fifi

I couldnt agree more - I spend waaaay too much of my time trying to make sure that everybody else is ok, but then forget about myself and what I want :wacko:

I finally got to a stage in counselling one day where I blurted out "What I feel is important" and I felt so embarrassed because to have that realisation was sort of alien and I felt I was kind of being selfish for saying it :blush:

But I felt really strongly that I have a voice too and I want people to hear it and how I feel, and why on earth not!! :shades:

Hopefully I can keep building on this and not go back down the road of not saying anything and keeping quiet because I fear upsetting others. But if others are upsetting me, I have the right to tell them about it!

Everybody is entitled to air their opinions - and not everyone will agree on something all of the time, but that is life. It'd be pretty damn boring if we all thought the same wouldnt it!

So well done hun, for coming out of it the other side and not beating yourself up over it :hugs:

Jo xxxxx