View Full Version : I have no friends
helenclaire
05-03-08, 14:38
Since suffering from agorophobia/anxiety i no longer have any friends, it really is a lonely place to be, the only people i have close to me are my family dont get me wrong they are the best thing in my life, but they do not really understand and i do not want to burden them with my problems.
I have never had a lot of friends as i am quite shy and so find it difficult to talk to people, but i did have a couple of friends that i use to go out with, but since this started and i started to make excuses not to go out they no longer bother with me, so i no longer have anyone to socialise with or chat to.
I spend most of my time in the house on my own sometimes i would love someone to call in just for a chat, but unless i can get out and meet people this is never going to happen.
I guess i am just feeling sorry for myself at the moment
Helen:weep:
Hi Helen,
I know how you are feeling. I have suffered from depression since my teens (I'm 41 now) and loneliness is most definitely the worst thing in my life. I do have 3 children aged 19, 10 and 7 and my 19 year old daughter and her boyfriend have a 5 week old baby (my lovely little grandson), they have their own house so there is just me and the 2 youngest at home and some times I have no adult conversation whatsoever. I work full-time so I do get to chat and meet people at work, but I'm up at the crack of dawn, don't get home until 5.45pm, then have to start doing the tea, washing, sorting kids out etc., and once the kids are in bed I am so lonely its untrue. My family don't understand the depression and anxiety, or they don't want to understand it; as long as I'm available to run errands and babysite then there's nothing wrong with me!! I am that lonely that I was going to change my username on NMP to "Billy No Mates"!!
I wish I had a true friend who I could talk to and who could understand me, but sometimes when I'm feeling really low I probably wouldn't want to talk that much, but would expect someone to kinda read my mind and to know how I'm feeling because I believe we should all have a friend or soulmate and we should be that person back to them.
At least you will meet lots of lovely people on NMP and get lots of good advice and you can always go in "chat". It's something I have never done as yet as I don't have access in the evenings, but am working on it!
Good luck and take care.
Les x
I'm happy to chat to you both, do you have MSN ?
I will PM you with my address, feel free to add me if you wish :).
xxx
Hi Helenclaire if you want to private message me please do I would love to chat as am in same position as you
Elly
hiya helen i would love to be your friend and talk to you. plz come into chat plz dont be shy everyone will make you very welcome. i also have msn if you do and would like to talk on there pm me your msn address and ill be happy to add you and then chat with you. you are never alone here hun i hope you can remember that. a little about me im 37 with 3 teenage girls i live in the west midlands. take care helen :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: .
kellie
hi i got hardly any friends either so feel free to add me to msn i can pm you addie if you want xxx
Hi Helen, hope you make lots of friends here, feel free to chat.
Davex:flowers:
Hi Helen.
Oh yes having agorophobia is a lonely place. I still have some friends but I moved away from everyone 4 years ago because I was going downhill and finding the pressure of making excuses as to why I couldn't do things really hard. I felt so guilty. Since living here in south lincs I haven't made any friends. I've met some really nice people but because of the agrophobia I could never commit to anything. I even find talking on the phone difficult because I feel trapped. I also think that when you have panic/anxiety you sort of live in your own head so much that it is difficult to find a place for someone else. Since telling the few people I know that I have agorophobia things have improved a little and I am beginning to make friends with one person. I am hoping to go to one of the get togethers in a few weeks as I am really in need of some extra human contact. I'm going to be travelling quite a way but I'm quite determined to give it a try. Have you thought of trying this. Please feel able to pm me . I get really excited when someone does as it is often the only personal contact that I have outside of home. Sad but true.
Hi Helenclaire,
The responses so far show that things are changing!!
:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:
You will ALWAYS have friends here.
PM any time and I'll tell you what it's like being a married man with three kids,a dog and a mortgage!!
Best wishes,
Chalky
Know how you feel, had a couple of friends but lost them when i had kids and am quite shy and am terrible at making friends.
pm me if you's like a chat anytime
susie
It's a Very Sad state of society where the world is so crowded and yet there are So many of us who feel So alone.
Even when we have friends or even married, we can still feel alone because anxiety is a lonely condition where we need people we can turn to who understand how we "feel". I can understand this.
I think I've always felt alone in this world because of the "way I am" and the mistakes I've made in my life decisions. My bad spell was caused by this feeling of being alone with no escape. I wish I'd known this site and the wonderful people who are here because I feel certain I'd never have done the things to myself I did in those days.
No one should feel alone in this world because there are So many caring people out there. We just need to reach out and find them which is what you've commenced by posting our thread. I hope now that you and everyone here who feels the same, will always feel amongst loyal caring friends who truly understand how you're feeling.:hugs:
i also know how you feel, im shy , and like you would love someone 2 pop in for a coffee and a chat sometimes. I have msn so if you would like my addy just ask.
Love sandyjanexxx
helenclaire
06-03-08, 09:58
Hi,
Thankyou all so much for your replies, just knowing you are out there if i need you is such a comfort.
I have a lot of work to do but hopefully i will get there.
I would like to be able to meet people in a similiar situation but i do not know of any meeting groups in my area.
I am waiting for an appointment with the councellor so i am hoping that she will be able to advise me as to whether there is any where i could go to meet people.
Helen:)
Hi Helenclaire,
Yes anxiety etc can be a terribly lonely place.:weep:
Please pm me if you want to chat hun. I'd love to be your friend.:hugs: Take Care,
Love & Wishes,
Pip's X X
I too am very lonely i also have no friends.:weep:
Sinced we moved about 3 years ago,i hardly see my neighbours and apart from that they are all elderly folk, and if they see us they just ignore us anyway.
I too would love friends come knocking on my door, and say put the kettle on and lets have a chat,but its not going to happen.
I pray for the day when i can have a good adult conversation,women to women talk.
I don't go out much so life is C**P at the mo.:weep:
Would someone like to be my friend Please?:weep:
hiya redrose. i replied to helens post and i would like to apply the same to you hun. do you have msn? pm me your msn address if you do i would love to talk to you and be your friend. you are not alone redrose we are all here to talk to you.we have a great chat room and i would love to see you in there talking to us all. take care hun.
love and hugs to you.
kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxx
Wow, so many of us with no friends, and I thought I was the only one. It just goes to show how wonderful this site is and how warm us people with anxiety can be.
I personally have the added problem of not having any family either. My wife and stepson decided to leave me 7 years ago because I was not the person they wanted me to be basically (that certainly done my anxiety the world of good) I loved them more than anything. Therefore I have reason to believe that my anxiety is fuelled loneliness and rejection to name but a few. Like many, I now suffer Agoraphobia, so meeting people is extra difficult if not impossible. (Reminds me of the joke about the Agorophobia Annual Dance where nobody turned up).
All I can say is loneliness can be hell and I am here to talk to anyone who feels the same, regardless of their age, colour or creed.
Take care everyone.
Kevin.
Hi hun i know exactly how you feel ever since i have been suffering from anxiety my friends have drifted away. They dont seem to be interested in me and find my constant worrying a pain! I have lost all confidence to contact people and to make new friends. I also am relying on people close like family and partner but just like you said they dont understand and at the worst times have said i am going mad! I know they are just worried about me so try now to deal with things on my own just remember your not alone. pm me any time xxx
HI HELEN
DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS?
I HAVE 1 FRIEND STILL FROM SCHOOL BUT ONLY SEE HER LIKE ONCE A MONTH SO ACTUALLY WOULDN'T REALLY CALL HER A FRIEND. I AM SHY ASWELL... AT TIMES WHEN IM INTRODUCED TO NEW SOUROUNDINGS AND PEOPLE I CLOSE UP AND FEEL SO STUPID. I OCCASIONLY HAVE PANNIC ATTACTS NOW BUT FAR FEWER THAN WHEN I WAS AT COLLEGE. FEELING LONELY NOW AND I FIND IT SO HARD TO TALK TO PEOPLE ASWELL, I STUTTER WHEN I SPEAK SOMETIMES COZ I AM SCARED.
ANY WAY IF YOU WANT TO CHAT ON MSN MESSENGER OR YAHOO JUST ASK ME FOR MY ADDIE
-X- Gems
milly jones
30-06-08, 14:16
helen
ur in the same place as i was 3 months ago
then i found nmp and my life has moved on so much
i go regularly into chat and made 'friends' there, some of which are now real telephone, letter mates and some of which i can meet for real.
this has done my sa a power of good allowing me to practise my social skills in a non threatening environment.
i visit the forum too to ask and offer support. again being able to help has raised my self esteem no end.
i am now talking to ppl on the telephone. i paid my bills by phone today, not post for the first time, cos talking is so daunting.
im starting to go out more with specific goals in mind.
im planning to drive for the first time in ages and meet up with a friend for a coffee.
please dont despair
nmp can help, we can all support u, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and loads of lovely ppl
millxxx :hugs:
hiya im sorry you feeling so down, just take little steps and set yourself realistic small goals every day and take each day at a time. this site will really help u and its helped me loads. it will help give u the confidence u need to fight this yourself hugs xx
I don't really have depression or social anxiety.
But at 28 i have found myself with no friends to spend time with.
I live with my parents as i can't afford a place of my own but i spend most my weekends in my room alone as the few friends i have just dont go out and i dont see them.
The last time i went out with my friend was march 07 and i haven't seen her since, we text and e mail and i ask if she'll arrange a night out with me but it never happened.
From april 07 to april 08 I had a boyfriend who was my rock and my world this last year but with out him i just feel completely lost and alone in this world and i just feel it is never going to get any better as my friend situation as been like this for around 3 years now and boyfriends just come and go.
And when they go i just feel totally lost because at least with a boyfriend i had someone know matter whether i had friends or not.
I miss my ex so much it has been 3 months since we broke up and i haven't been out once since then, my friends text but they never want to go out or meet up really cos they are busy when i'm not.
I find it hard to meet people too obviosuly cos i don't go out, i met my ex on a dating site and my ex before that but i just want my last ex back so much i don't want to look for anyone else even though it means me being alone all the time.
I think there should be a site out there for people who want to meet some friends, maybe there is not found it yet though.
MissChampers
02-07-08, 14:29
I only really have 2 friends but one lives in Oxford and the other Norfolk so I hardly see them. I've found over the past year with my anxiety out of control, I'm drifting away from them because I can't pick up the phone and have a normal conversation and they probably think i'm being funny with them. Neither of them know about the anxiety and to be honest I don't want them to know as I feel ashamed. I've got a few online friends and i've got my kids and family around me so i'm not totally lonely.
Hi to both of you.
i feel like my friends, who i dont really keep in touch with are all over the world, i travelled when i was younger so missed out on the bonding sessions the others had. i work full time, and would count none as friends who i would tell many things to.
if you want to chat i have msm, pm me your addy and im happy to chat!! i do feel lonely sometimes, i am married and seem to have lost touch with the few good friends i had.
jools
break_myself
10-07-08, 21:15
I'm 25 and have no friends at all where I live. I have a small group of girlfriends that live in another city and I have to travel through there (90 minute bus ride) sometimes at weekends just to have a night out. Apart from that I never see them, or spend any other time with them except when we are going out. I had one friend in the city I live in but they just stopped contacting me a few months ago, I don't know why. I hardly saw them anyway and felt like they were using me so it's not a great loss to be honest.
I can't make any friends through work as my colleagues don't socialise with each other outside of work and most of them are old women anyway so not really the people I want to socialise with!
So I'm pretty lonely and feel I have no life but not sure how to make any new friends, kind of feel I'm trapped in my lifestyle.
Break myself thats how i feel, i'm out of work now though so i have no chance of meeting friends there now and i just don't go out to meet anyone new it has been like this for a few years now, i had a boyfriend for a year and he was the best thing ever but i lost him for some reason now i just feel completely alone all day ever day and i just don't think things are ever going to change really as it has been like this for so long now.
Since suffering from agorophobia/anxiety i no longer have any friends, it really is a lonely place to be, the only people i have close to me are my family dont get me wrong they are the best thing in my life, but they do not really understand and i do not want to burden them with my problems.
I have never had a lot of friends as i am quite shy and so find it difficult to talk to people, but i did have a couple of friends that i use to go out with, but since this started and i started to make excuses not to go out they no longer bother with me, so i no longer have anyone to socialise with or chat to.
I spend most of my time in the house on my own sometimes i would love someone to call in just for a chat, but unless i can get out and meet people this is never going to happen.
I guess i am just feeling sorry for myself at the moment
Helen:weep:
Ditto from me too!
Ive also always been really shy, at school I only had one close friend and even she turned out to be horrible to me and took great pleasure in bullying me with her other mate.. nice eh!
At work Ive struggled to make friends and ppl have told me how they assumed I thought I was too good to talk to them or something.. I didnt realise I came across that way and I just assumed it was obvious I was shy. Ive not been in work for the last 5 years though, and dont see myself getting a job anytime soon due to the severe anxiety.
Im terrible in groups, never went out in a group and if I did I barely ever spoke up (Im a quiet talking person anyway). I had one friend I would go to the cinema with but since my 1st panic in the cinema years ago I just kept turning down the offers till I wasnt asked again.. now my mate sometimes (once every 6months?) asks to meet I just cant. Thats the only friend I have.. Ive started talking to an old school friend again but I dont have it in me to meet up, plus Im sure she'll have told the other school mates (incl the one who bullied me) what Im going through and I suspect theyll have probably had a quiet laugh behind my back about that.
This is awful and I hate feeling like a billy no mates. My fiance has quite a few friends, lots infact, and I know he feels sorry for me that I dont have any of that.
Youre not on your own xx.
Tho lucky to have not lost my friends yet I do feel that because I make excuses on why I cant go out I find myself worrying about what will happen if I do end up losing them. I have had a panic disorder for over two years now which quickly went into agoraphobia as well am doing cognitive behavioral therapy at the mo but am finding it really tough going would like to meet new friends especially ones that know what its like to live with an anxiety disorder/agoraphobia so anyone feel free to send me a private message to have a chat.
break_myself
11-07-08, 16:54
Break myself thats how i feel, i'm out of work now though so i have no chance of meeting friends there now and i just don't go out to meet anyone new it has been like this for a few years now, i had a boyfriend for a year and he was the best thing ever but i lost him for some reason now i just feel completely alone all day ever day and i just don't think things are ever going to change really as it has been like this for so long now.
Yeah, I feel like things aren't going to change either for me, cos it's been this way pretty much since I left school. Since then I've only had 2 close girlfriends, one friendship lasted about three years, the other is still going but she is the girl that lives in another city so I hardly see her now. And I met all the girls I go out with through her, so it's not like they are really MY friends!
neither do I. I dont go out and many of the friends I had couldnt understand and we no longer talk. It is really really hard and I feel very alone alot of the time, especially because my family isnt close and my husband works alot. I really hate it :(
If i had a boyfriend i wouldn't mind having no friends least then i would have someone, the two friends i have only live about 20 mins away but with there families i just haven't seen either of them for over a year now and that's not really a friendship when you don't see them and there that close.
My ex was my best friend i only saw him weekends but it was enough i just miss him so much still. All i do now is sit alone in my room most days and as i'm out of work it is 24/7.
Hey helen. i've always had trouble with my self esteem and im a very emotional person... & feburary i got very bad and my school friends couldnt cope with me anymore... so i ended up being alone and i hated having noone there to talk to seens as though my family didnt and dont understand... so i stayed off for a while and then started at a new school but by the time i started at this new school i became extremely paranoid and had trouble finding people i could fit in with but i always felt sad and that people were talking about me... in the end i couldnt cope and nor could my mum or my family so i started homeschooling but now im very agorophobic and i find it really hard to go out and make friends, but i hate being alone.
add me if you wana talk or something.
kirsty
I used to pretty unsocial and recently have learned a lot of techniques and things to help, have made friends now, been getting invited to parties and that has helped. It feels good. I'm really talkative when I know the person a little, it's just that I usually have to be motivated to hang out with people and know them a bit first. PM if youd like to talk :D
Hi Helen, please feel free to PM me too if you need someone. I don't have a close friend either and for ages thought I was some kind of oddball for being like that.
I am married and have mates at work but no 'friend' as such.
I am also lucky as I do penpalling and I have letters I can write to penpals which unburden me, but it would be so nice to have a friend, in the flesh, so to speak to talk to too.
I feel better knowing I am not alone, but like, I think it was Bill who said it, we are such a busy society, and yet so many of us have no friends.
Why don't all of us who have posted here all resolve to be friends? Then we would all be busy wouldn't we?
Sue
Natural Mystic
25-09-08, 12:47
Hi Helen,
I know how you are feeling. I have suffered from depression since my teens (I'm 41 now) and loneliness is most definitely the worst thing in my life. I do have 3 children aged 19, 10 and 7 and my 19 year old daughter and her boyfriend have a 5 week old baby (my lovely little grandson), they have their own house so there is just me and the 2 youngest at home and some times I have no adult conversation whatsoever. I work full-time so I do get to chat and meet people at work, but I'm up at the crack of dawn, don't get home until 5.45pm, then have to start doing the tea, washing, sorting kids out etc., and once the kids are in bed I am so lonely its untrue. My family don't understand the depression and anxiety, or they don't want to understand it; as long as I'm available to run errands and babysite then there's nothing wrong with me!! I am that lonely that I was going to change my username on NMP to "Billy No Mates"!!
I wish I had a true friend who I could talk to and who could understand me, but sometimes when I'm feeling really low I probably wouldn't want to talk that much, but would expect someone to kinda read my mind and to know how I'm feeling because I believe we should all have a friend or soulmate and we should be that person back to them.
At least you will meet lots of lovely people on NMP and get lots of good advice and you can always go in "chat". It's something I have never done as yet as I don't have access in the evenings, but am working on it!
Good luck and take care.
Les x
I'm 40 with one child (also 7) ... it seems I have similar experiences to yourself. My mother never phones to ask how I am but called yesterday morning to tell me something trivial.
Maybe we'll all make some good real friends on here, why not.
KaylaMarie
25-09-08, 13:41
I know how you feel , I moved schools (Only about 10 mins away) and slowley but surely my old friend just stopped getting in contact with me..and everytime I called i got the whole "Oh wel Im really busy, but I'll call you right back." Of course they'd never call.
I used to have my Best friend...Until she got a boyfriend, and has since decided that I am not even worth the time of day anymore. And It does hurt because Her excuse was that she was too busy...yet she is with him nearly everyday...I know for a fact that she still hangs out with other people...and yet she cant find time to make a five min phone call.
I know how heartbreaking it is. Granted I have a wonderful boyfriend, who I can really talk to about these things, but it is definately not the same as having my best friend. If you ever wanna chat with me feel free to.
And try not to let this thing bother you too much. Easier said right?
-hugs-
Mudskipper
26-09-08, 10:35
The whole business of friends is a bit of a puzzle to me. Why is it that some people just seem to attract friends by the dozen and have no difficulty keeping a relationship going whilst othere, like me, are pretty much friendless? People just don't seem to gravitate towards me, sure I have people at work I'll talk to more than others but it never goes beyond a work place relationship. If my wife hadn't found me sufficiently interesting to chase after me and make the first move, I don't doubt I'd still be living at home with my folks (actually bearing in mind my problems and the effect it has on her, it would have been a whole lot better for both of us if she'd steered well clear of me, but that's another story:weep: ). Anyway, rambling away a bit here, but the bottom line is that a lot of us on here seem to have this common problem, so if anyone want's to PM me just to say hello or whatever, feel free.
my best friend has been for the last twenty five yrs foned me to ask me on a night out when i declined ( im agrophobic) she told me to pull myself together ,get a grip,stop being a freak!! so just maybe we dont need friends
lee xxx
Hereford Al
01-10-08, 12:31
I am in a similar situation.
When I was at college 10 years ago, I had a group of a dozen or so really good friends. Up until 2 years ago a few of us used to go to the pub every Thursday night for a few beers and some pool and a bit of a banter - It was the highlight of my week.
Sadly, the group seemed to drift apart (new jobs, girlfriends, etc) and the last time I actually went out to a pub was at the end of February for a work night out. I love my workmates, but they all have families and stuff so cant go out all the time.
I spend nearly all of my evenings at home with my parents, either watching TV or using my computer.
My nerves stop me from trying new things incase I fail (because of my perfectionist tendencies) and I lack motivation to do nearly anything out of my routine.
I've been off work with Depression and Anxiety for the last 3 months on the request of my GP and the Community Mental Health Team I have been seeing, and can have a good positive week followed by 2-3 weeks of sheer hell for no apparent reason. I'm nearly too afraid to leave the house most days.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels I don't have enough friends. I see my ex-wife most weekends but that relationship is complicated - though I am the last to deny that I am often glad of her company.
I have a friend who split from his wife recently and so has more free time and I see him every 2 or 3 weeks now, which has been quite a help, but not enough really.
I have another 2 friends in my nearest town who I meet for a drink every 3 or 4 months. One of them is busy with family and the other has a big social circle and I'm very much on the fringe of his network.
Despite my social phobia I force myself to go out to reading groups and French conversation classes and Buddhist meditation sessions but I often find it stressful and I just don't seem to have a talent for striking up friendships with people. Most people seem to reach that "assumption of intimacy" very quickly but I find it very difficult to connect to people.
The friend I now see quite regularly usually phones me up, rather than vice versa. It's not that I don't want to see him, but I hate taking the risk of seeming to want his friendship more than he wants mine, even though I know this is nonsense.
I so wish I could have had a partner that I could lean on and who could lean on me. But happy partnerships are probably the exception rather than the rule anyway. No one has a right to happiness, you just have to make do with what's dished out to you by the gods.
charlotte-louise
02-10-08, 09:15
Hiya Helen
Im in the same boat, since i've been suffering this time people have distanced themselves from me, like im some sort of freak!
Im always on MSN for a chat if anybody fancies it
xxx
I just think its a wonderful thing to have nmp,
I have lots of friends, however not one of them have the patience or understanding with me, like my nmp friends.
When there have been times of panic and i have struggled it is not my friends at home that i call on, i always grab my phone and text my nmp friends.
I was at my lonliest before i found this site and its all down to you all here that i was able to pick myself up again and get back on the road to recovery.
Lonliness is absolutely awful, so its a great thing that we all have each other here.
Anyone can pm me or add me to msn, as i will always be here for you all as you have been there for me.
di xx
Re. NMP friends - yes, I've made some good friends here, but they're mostly female and in relationships, and it doesn't feel right to be phoning them. It's a shame really.
Paddington
02-10-08, 11:40
I too became 'billy no mates' when my anxiety levels and panics changed my life style.i had only one very close friend who simply did not understand so she wrote me a letter to say our friendship was over.I was devastated..i still miss her we had such fun and a great rapour.Oh well she couldn't get her head around it so that is that!Maybe the friend ship was only one sided maybe i was pretending to be ok most of the time when in fact i was not.. so not her fault then?!Well that was 3 years ago..i too miss the phone calls the chatting for hours on end..who knows what makes a deep friendship all we know is that it is horribly lonely when it is gone..i should not have been so exclusive..and had more than one friend i spose but i am not like that .I too was painfully shy as a child..and was bullied etc..I soon found humour makes you friends:D But i only ever concentrated on one or two at a time..and as they moved or got bored ..i was lonely again.I have made friends with folk on here..wonderful people who truly understand me and i them:yesyes: But some days the solitude hits[specially as the kids have all flown the nest!!]and i feel so isolated and sad..i just wanted to say with all ths rambling that i understand all of you..well that is the beauty of NMP..we understand each other:bighug1: Here if anyone fancies a chat.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
lifeissweet
04-10-08, 17:28
hi helen, i do know how you feel, altho i have one main friend who knows and understands as she used to be very agoraphobic, some others do know but i dont think they really get it and, like you i just avoid seeing them incase they are going somewhere i feel uncomfortable (or terrified!)..
it is very lonely, i do know that. i would love to chat with you on msn if you want to add me, or email me of you prefer. where in uk are you? i stay in scotland x
laura_cameron@live.co.uk
You can have many friends yet feel alone.
For me, it's because I do not feel worthy of the friends I do have.
Good Luck to all of you in your search
Julia xx
Wow, I don't feel so alone when I read this thread.
I'm exactly the same, my social anxiety and depression prevents me from socialising and making friends or even keeping friends. The problem I have with my life at the moment, is my social anxiety and depression up to around a year ago was at its worst and screwed up me making friends. I joined uni while I was in this state and because of how I was, I didn't make any friends properly. I met two people on the first day, who seemed ok but just started to distance myself for some reason and lost them as friends. So essentially I have none. Everyone thinks I'm a weird loner, even my teachers at Univiersity. Now I'm in my second year and it just gets harder and harder to approach people and make friends from the 'reputation' I now hold. :(
Paddington
06-10-08, 13:14
Oh Tom,ths really touched me hun..is there no help at uni ??Is there no student body you can go to and find other folk in your situation..there has to be on a large campus!How about starting a small group of your own??Put a invite up somewehere inviting other lonely/depressed students to join you..hey there will be another person wandering around the campus feeling the same as you and would jump at the chance of making a friend who feels the same :yesyes: Give it a go hun.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anxious_gal
06-10-08, 13:27
i'm lucky to have a few friends, i used to have alot more but then my agoraphobia and anxiety got worse so i wouldn't go out as much.
only one of my friends know about my agoraphobia, I don't want to be labled as the weird one.
if you fancy a chat mishel@live.ie
It seems a common theme throughout this thread that so-called friends and some family members seem to 'vanish' when folk are going through difficult times.
I guess the old saying remains true for a reason:
"You find out who your friends are when the s**** hits the fan".
Oh Tom,ths really touched me hun..is there no help at uni ??Is there no student body you can go to and find other folk in your situation..there has to be on a large campus!How about starting a small group of your own??Put a invite up somewehere inviting other lonely/depressed students to join you..hey there will be another person wandering around the campus feeling the same as you and would jump at the chance of making a friend who feels the same :yesyes: Give it a go hun.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
No there isn't really anywhere I can goto about this problem. In fact, I'm too embarassed if I'm totally honest.
You know I have thought there must be other people at uni like me, alone but I just don't see it. I wonder around the uni alone sometimes almost looking to see if there's anyone else like me but I haven't seen anyone. Most people are walking in groups or atleast one other friend. The only people that are often seen alone are probably the lecturers.
Before I can actually face people and make friends properly, I think I need to sort my anxiety first. My anxiety just screws the making friends process completely. I mean I might meet 2-3 really interesting people, but my anxiety will just start interfering and then I start to become 'weird' and that's when I just cut off all connections now. I've had to deal with this before (my anxiety and friendship) and when people started to see it they thought I was a total weirdo and this ultimately affected the friendship. So now my automatic response when this happens or just before it happens, is I distance myself or cut myself off.
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