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andy22
13-11-03, 19:25
I am new to this forum, but not new to anxiety. I am what you call a constant worrier, if there's something to worry about I will worry. I have been that way my whole life. I have tried BusPar and have been in therapy but nothing seems to work. I am so sick and tired of this feeling that death looks positve because its final. Please know that I am not suicidal and I have 2 children that I live my life for, I guess I just relate to death as finally not having to worry. I hope that makes sense...
My latest phobia is lung cancer. (Before this phobia, I was sure I had MS). I smoked for 17 years and quick 1 year ago, I recently had a small set back and smoked for 3 months, currently I am smoke free again. I have been researching smoking and the information has been overwhelming and not good for someone like myself. For me, to much research is not a good thing. I have tremendous guilt over the damaged I have caused my body and feel I have lung cancer. The research I have generated and quick smoking message boards all have stories of people like myself who quick smoking, but ultimately quick to late and have cancer. They are young like myself 35.
I have scheduled a physical, but that will not take place till 1/6/04, in the meantime I am trying to keep things under control or control enough so that I do not lose my mind. I think even a doctors visit will not ease my worries.
I do not suffer from panic attacks just anxiety attacks. I constantly have the feeling of worry and one little pain or ache puts me into pure panic mode.
I hope to find friendship, support and anyone who know this story. My husband is very supportive, but he does not know I am going through this, he knows I worry and that's about it. I guess I am so embarassed by this. I have notice that once I give these words life, it seems to diminish the phobia.
Thanks for reading this and your advice is greatly appreciated.
Andy

nomorepanic
13-11-03, 21:00
Hi Andy

Welcome to the site :-)

I like you find that every time I get a strange ache or pain I start researching it on the net. The problem is that you end up with numerous life threatening diseases every time. I seem to ignore the sites that say "nothing to worry about!".

I think the medical will help because it will put your mind at rest - I really must get one myself.

Please try to accept that you are fit and healthy if you are looking after yourself, not smoking (which you are) and getting some exercise.

I know it is easy to say but I spent years convinced that I was ill or had something terminal. I still do it to some degree - if I get a new pain, I think oh god what now! In reality it turns out to be nothing.

Please take time to read not only the posts in here but the Web site too and I hope you can find some answers in here as people start to reply to this post.

Good luck


Nicola

benoo5
13-11-03, 21:17
hy andy,

as nic has said,there is so much good information available on this site,just go to the home page,and read up about anything that worries you.

if your really worried about having lung cancer,then ime sure your dr can arrange a chest xray much sooner than next april,if not phone up the mobile xray service,and ask when there next visiting your town.

best wishes...bryan.

twister
13-11-03, 21:38
Hi Andy

I used to wake up in the night sweating and became absolutely convinced after reading various websites that I had HIV. I used to worry about this day and night. Now I know that anxiety itself causes night sweats and these days I try REALLY hard not to look on the internet for disease symptoms. Every horrible disease has symptoms in common with those people occasionally get, and as you probably know, once you've read about the symptoms you start to get them! Instead of surfing the internet just go to the doctors and they should be able to at least put things in perspective for you.

Take Care

Emily

andy22
13-11-03, 23:01
Thanks everyone for the information and support, I am feeling much better knowing that I am not alone.
Thanks

jonny
15-11-03, 15:30
quote:Originally posted by nomorepanic

Hi Andy

Welcome to the site :-)

I like you find that every time I get a strange ache or pain I start researching it on the net. The problem is that you end up with numerous life threatening diseases every time. I seem to ignore the sites that say "nothing to worry about!".

Nicola


OMG you are me!! Or am i you? Nic we are just the same!! LOL
Most people develop sympthoms and look up the cause in a medical journal but i read the journal and then develop the sympthoms!!! He he he he ..
I am laughing at myself because i am mad!! and it makes me feel better.

Jon

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

nomorepanic
15-11-03, 20:57
Jonny

Yeah I can relate to that. I get new drugs and look at the side-effects and then I get them all!!

You are not mad Jon - just like the rest of us :-)


Nicola

Karen72
16-11-03, 02:54
Hi Andy I know the feeling well. I still smoke (unfortunately) but since I've had these anxiety attacks, I have cut right down to maybe 6 a day. I do want to quit & I hop very soon to find the will power to do it. I had a smear test the other day & before it I got myself worked up about what the results might bring(in 7 weeks time!!!!!)The nurse reassured me that she couldn't see anything down there to worry her so that was a good start she said. I have felt slightly reassured by that but I still worry every now & then. I also got her to look at a mole on my arm. It hasn't chsnged shape, colour or size but I still worried. She told me if it hasn't changed then I don't really have nothing to worry about. Like Nicola said, if something is mentioned, we think the worst. before I go, people quit smoking when they're alot older & they improve their health no end so.....
I know what you're going through, we'll just have to help each other through it
Take care
Karen

Crispy Cornflake
19-11-03, 03:03
Andy, I am much like yourself (and the same age). I gave up smoking in 1996 after smoking since 1980. However, this year has been a nightmare which has caused all my anxiety and panic problems. So much so, that I took to smoking again in February. God knows why, but I did. I have stopped now, but it's only been a few weeks so I'm not out of the woods yet. My mother died of lung cancer a few months ago, which was obviously a big factor in me giving up. However, I suffer from shortness of breath which my GP has put down to the anxiety. He hasn't convinced me though and I worry constantly that I have lung cancer. I have just been prescribed Citalopram for the anxiety, so we'll see how much difference this makes over the coming months. I worry so much that I can't sleep (as you may gather from someone typing messages after 2am).

Take care.

Amanda3266
23-11-03, 19:28
Hi Andy and welcome to the forum,

Just to reassure you - you are not abnormal and I do this as well. Any new ache or pain has me thinking "Oh my God what's this"? As others have said above me in reality it's nothing but doesn't stop me thinking I have cancer etc.

I have done alot of reading into smoking as I am a midwife and health visitor in the UK. I've never smoked myself but it may reassure you to know that after 12 months (I think that's correct) of stopping your risk of developing lung cancer drops to not much higher than someone who's never smoked. Well done for stopping and I wish you continued good health.

To reassure yourself it's worth speaking to your doctor but you are highly unlikely to have lung cancer at this age.

Amanda