nikk_dolittle
07-03-08, 14:56
Hey all,
I don’t know what to do now....I got referred to a CPN in January, after waiting 9 months and being dropped 4 times after being referred as I didn’t fit in the catories but I finally had an appointment which the first an assessment to see if what’s best in having a CPN or being refereed to someone else to help. Then 2 weeks after I had my first proper session with her. We spoke about most things and it helped, then it was 2 weeks after that was my next appt with her. As I have counselling the other weeks in between. and It was to be like this for awhile.
But when I was due to see her again she rings in the morning to say she’s not there and cant meet me so it will 2 weeks after to see me, so I thought ok then, and just go like that but then the next week came and i had counselling. spoke about things i need to tell my CPN so i knew i could do it. the time to see her came and she cancelled on me saying she was ill and had the week off. so it was 4 weeks not seeing her, then I had counselling and didn’t take notice of not seeing my CPN. Then i was ill so i didn’t see her as its a 45 min walk to the hospital from where i live. so now its last Friday and its 7 weeks with nothing from my CPN and not even seeing her. So i was staying calm all day as my Appt was 2pm and I managed ok and got through things and took my mind of going and mum was going to take me for a change but at 1.50pm the receptionist rings and says she’s on a crisis and needs to cancel my appt. the receptionist said she will ring on Monday and nothing she didn’t ring at all. So I tried to ring yesterday and she wasn’t there and I got told to ring back so I did and I ended up ringing 3 times in one day and still nothing back. Sooo….I tried today twice this morning and I got told she’s out of the office, and will be back soon to ring me, still nothing, so I tried ONCE MORE this afternoon and I got told she is off work today and wont be back till Monday. What am I meant to do…I just want to talk to someone and open up to them…she doesn’t realise how scared I am all the time, I cant do anything without being scared. Its 8 weeks now since I’ve seen her. Its causing more and more and more pain to me, I have things I need out but I can’t, I have no trust in her now and it takes me awhile to build it up on people.
I’ve had sooooo many excuses and every time I ring its different.
I know people will say I have counselling and that’s enough but after over 7 years of self-harm and I’ve stopped now but I could go back any day not that I am. I cant go back to it, its not the answer, I want to be ok and not scared to move or do anything…..
I know I should complain but I’m scared to do it, its also really hard as I’m terribly scared to use a phone but I try as I want to get better, she doesn’t care.
What do I do? I’m sat here crying as I want to let things out and I’m hurting badly. I feel no-one wants to help me, especially ‘professional people‘. Why? What have I done? Is this right to be treated like this?
Please help me…(sorry if its confusing I just dont know what to do)
Nikk xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs:
I don’t know what to do now....I got referred to a CPN in January, after waiting 9 months and being dropped 4 times after being referred as I didn’t fit in the catories but I finally had an appointment which the first an assessment to see if what’s best in having a CPN or being refereed to someone else to help. Then 2 weeks after I had my first proper session with her. We spoke about most things and it helped, then it was 2 weeks after that was my next appt with her. As I have counselling the other weeks in between. and It was to be like this for awhile.
But when I was due to see her again she rings in the morning to say she’s not there and cant meet me so it will 2 weeks after to see me, so I thought ok then, and just go like that but then the next week came and i had counselling. spoke about things i need to tell my CPN so i knew i could do it. the time to see her came and she cancelled on me saying she was ill and had the week off. so it was 4 weeks not seeing her, then I had counselling and didn’t take notice of not seeing my CPN. Then i was ill so i didn’t see her as its a 45 min walk to the hospital from where i live. so now its last Friday and its 7 weeks with nothing from my CPN and not even seeing her. So i was staying calm all day as my Appt was 2pm and I managed ok and got through things and took my mind of going and mum was going to take me for a change but at 1.50pm the receptionist rings and says she’s on a crisis and needs to cancel my appt. the receptionist said she will ring on Monday and nothing she didn’t ring at all. So I tried to ring yesterday and she wasn’t there and I got told to ring back so I did and I ended up ringing 3 times in one day and still nothing back. Sooo….I tried today twice this morning and I got told she’s out of the office, and will be back soon to ring me, still nothing, so I tried ONCE MORE this afternoon and I got told she is off work today and wont be back till Monday. What am I meant to do…I just want to talk to someone and open up to them…she doesn’t realise how scared I am all the time, I cant do anything without being scared. Its 8 weeks now since I’ve seen her. Its causing more and more and more pain to me, I have things I need out but I can’t, I have no trust in her now and it takes me awhile to build it up on people.
I’ve had sooooo many excuses and every time I ring its different.
I know people will say I have counselling and that’s enough but after over 7 years of self-harm and I’ve stopped now but I could go back any day not that I am. I cant go back to it, its not the answer, I want to be ok and not scared to move or do anything…..
I know I should complain but I’m scared to do it, its also really hard as I’m terribly scared to use a phone but I try as I want to get better, she doesn’t care.
What do I do? I’m sat here crying as I want to let things out and I’m hurting badly. I feel no-one wants to help me, especially ‘professional people‘. Why? What have I done? Is this right to be treated like this?
Please help me…(sorry if its confusing I just dont know what to do)
Nikk xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs: