View Full Version : Fear of death?
aliciajane
07-03-08, 16:26
So, for the last 2 months or so, all I can think about is death.
I'm plauged by it day and night, I can't sleep, and when I really get panicky about it I can't eat.
I'm suffering from panic attacks, anxiety, and health anxiety and usually something to do with death will trigger off a panic attack.
I'm convinced I'm dying all the time with different illnesses/diseases, and it's ruining my life.
Now, I understand that every single one of us is going to be at least partly afraid of death. It's the unknown, it's the inevitible, and it's programmed into us to be afraid of it so we stay alive.
But my thoughts and feelings surrounding it are making me hysterical, I'm crying all the time, I get panic attacks whenever something about death is talked about/shown on tv/I read. I hyperventilate, my chest hurts and tightens up, my stomach ties itself in knots,I find it hard to swallow and I cry hysterically.
I know these My parents are comforting me, and I'm seeing my Cognitive Behaviour Therapist. But it's so tricky to shake.
I'm only 15 (16 in a few weeks), I shouldn't be feeling like this!
I thought I was getting better and this has come back and hit me full on.
I just can't cope with this constant darkness all around me :weep:
Does anyone else feel like I do?
Hi Alicia Jane,
My "main" obsession isn't about death, but I know that feeling of panic in response to certain stories on the news etc.
After my breakdown last year, I felt the "presence" of death constantly, almost like another mind taking over my own. I couldn't watch programmes about war etc. - I'd think, "How can people be so indifferent to what death really means, that they go and film people dying?" And I've had that feeling of terror on and off for the last few months, though it's not as severe as it was (maybe meditation has helped, I'm not sure).
Don't worry that you "shouldn't be feeling like this" - we feel what we feel, and despite what we're led to believe, the teenage years are far from the happiest of most people's lives.
Keep trying different therapies and medications, and something will surely stick along the way.
Take care,
Francis
Hiya aliciajane :hugs:
Poor you . All I can say is when you are feelin this bad it defo seems like it can never ever go away . But it can and it will hun . When I was in the same kinda place as you I never believed in a million yrs I would ever feel better , but I did . I am sure u will too. You got yah folks and CBT don't feel bad for ever asking for their help cos they are there for you . One of the most effective ways of getting thru this kinda torment for me was to confide in my friend and just keep going telling them what was on my mind no matter how crazy I sounded and hey presto after a while it began to fade little by little . Have u got someone , an auntie maybe .....somebody u trust .
It can only get better when it's so bad eh ? Try to think that and some of the pressure may lift . Your mind is such a strong thing to change but it CAN be changed with help from others and working hard yr self too xx
Hang in there sweetie:hugs:
You will be okay
Love Hope xx
worriedGrace
09-03-08, 16:35
I have had a fear of dying rather than death since I was a child. It overwhelmes me sometimes and I feel terrified. Do other people feel like this because I have never met anyone who understands how I feel.
Hi Guys,
Death has always captured the attention of the living.One reason is that no one has ever come back from the other side to explain what is involved.My wife and I have both separately witnessed her father and my mother actually passing away.Aside from the terrible anguish and hurt that we felt,I felt other emotions.
In my mother's case,she was terminally ill with cancer so for me,relief was involved.Relief that my mother no longer had to endure her obvious physical pain.The knowledge that she was at rest.I watched as the very last breath left her body when all was still and quiet.
From the very first breath we take as newborns,we are embarking on a journey through life which can have only one outcome-death.
We therefore must take the opportunity to set the tone for how our lives will be spent.Do we focus on death-over which we have no control-or do we focus on living to the best of our abilities?
No matter how much I worry about dying or the way I am going to die,nothing will change the fact that I will die.
We,too,can also accept that Mr Anxiety loves us to be worried about such things.He doesn't like us to distract ourselves by putting a cd on,going for a walk,ringing a dear friend because that takes our fear away.He hates when we persist in doing this because it loosens his control over us.Gradually he fades and dies and we are left to live.
Best wishes,
Chalky
aliciajane
09-03-08, 19:27
That's a great, down to earth post Chalky.
Thanks,
xax
The best thing I can suggest is to take up religion. I'm not a religious person myself, but I am a great believer in religion being able to solve peoples emotional problems, especially something like the fear of death. If at first you don't believe in god, don't let that stop you. Eventually you will believe, and I'm sure you'll find peace in your mind.
The best thing I can suggest is to take up religion. I'm not a religious person myself, but I am a great believer in religion being able to solve peoples emotional problems, especially something like the fear of death. If at first you don't believe in god, don't let that stop you. Eventually you will believe, and I'm sure you'll find peace in your mind.
I joined a liberal church after my breakdown - you know, the sort where the minister keeps saying, "...whatever we mean by God". If anything I think I'm more religious than he is! But I have met some decent people at the church, many of whom have been through the mill themselves, and that's a large part of what a religious community is about.
aliciajane
09-03-08, 23:46
Mmm yeah.
I come from a religious family, my sister, my parents, my grandparents on both sides, my aunts/uncles and cousins on both sides are all Christians.
In fact, I think I'm the only agnostic member of my entire family.
It isn't akward, no one makes me feel bad about it, but I feel like perhaps without faith in my life something's missing.
It's all so complex and huge to think about.
It's a bit scary really.
hi,
i feel the same way, after having my second child the fear of death is always there, i cry all the time. i think my partner is going to leave me because he doesnt understand, my daughter is 3 now, im afraid to go to the doctor incase he thinks im nuts i make my partner stay up so i am sleeping first or i wouldnt go to sleep. i am 24 and now people around me are dying and it is starting to get much worse.
its great to know there are other people that feel the same and that iss not just you that feels this way. i hope we can help each other along. xx
Hi Guys,
Death has always captured the attention of the living.One reason is that no one has ever come back from the other side to explain what is involved.My wife and I have both separately witnessed her father and my mother actually passing away.Aside from the terrible anguish and hurt that we felt,I felt other emotions.
In my mother's case,she was terminally ill with cancer so for me,relief was involved.Relief that my mother no longer had to endure her obvious physical pain.The knowledge that she was at rest.I watched as the very last breath left her body when all was still and quiet.
From the very first breath we take as newborns,we are embarking on a journey through life which can have only one outcome-death.
We therefore must take the opportunity to set the tone for how our lives will be spent.Do we focus on death-over which we have no control-or do we focus on living to the best of our abilities?
No matter how much I worry about dying or the way I am going to die,nothing will change the fact that I will die.
We,too,can also accept that Mr Anxiety loves us to be worried about such things.He doesn't like us to distract ourselves by putting a cd on,going for a walk,ringing a dear friend because that takes our fear away.He hates when we persist in doing this because it loosens his control over us.Gradually he fades and dies and we are left to live.
Best wishes,
Chalky
hi im amie xxx I totally agree. There is nothing that you can do about it and it will happen so you have to just make the best of it, sounds stupid i no but u cnt keep torturing yourself, you need to live and be happy and not think bout it. I to have a fear of death, if i allow myself 2 i do really freak out and it scares me so i dnt allow it anymore. You have to be strong and put it to the back of your mind. I find this has helped me, im hoping that as i get older i wont be bothered as much. For the moment i am still scared, but it isnt as physical as you. its just my thoughts, sometimes i do have bad days. and i get really down and nothing gets done so i dnt let that happen anymore. i have many things that i need to achieve and i cant do that wiv my phobia coz it stops me from progressin in life. resulting in having no life. i dnt wana waste my life, there is no point in that. If you let your phobia win, your not living and your just waiting for the inevitable. We have been given a life to live it. I used to be ok, i never thought bout dyin, coz i had never known anybody that had died, an i guess i was in my own little bubble, safe and happy, then my grandad died of cancer, it was a slow 3month process, and it killed me inside coz i was so close to him, and then i realised that anybody can die and it really scared me. I used to think of my grandad as big and strong and he was healthy all hes life so it came as a great shock. I didnt believe anything would happen to him and thats silly coz it happens to us all. Then my nan died 4yrs later. It wasnt so bad as i didnt c her much, but it still made my fear grow. And now my other nan has just died this year, bout a month ago, it was awful 4 me as i lived wiv her and i discovered her, it was the shock of not expecting it coz she was healthy really but she did have a breathing problem. She died in her sleep and they do say thats tha best way to go so this did comfort me a little bit. But it made me shake when i saw her and really upset me even tho i didnt show it. And it has set me back a little, i have been mor scared recently due to this. Also i think it depends on your life, iv had a really hard life and suffered alot of loss in a short space of time. So i think if you have a great life and thers nothing to be unhappy about your phobia wont be so bad.
thegingerone
22-04-10, 00:13
Hi Guys and girls,
I am new to this forum (my first post) and it was the research of this very real fear and my suffering with it that brought me here.
I have suffered with this for at least 14 years now (I am only 34), I believe the fear of death is referred to as Thatnophobia, or something like that but from what I have found this is more around the fear of how you will die, terminal illness, plane crash etc etc.
For me and it seems for many others here its not that that bothers me, it's actually the ceasing to be that causes me the most anxiety, that at some point I am no longer going to exist - nothing! My mind just cannot cope with that thought. The problem I have is that these attacks are getting more and more frequent, generally they happen at night they just come into my mind at once, I could be sitting there watching the T.V and all of a sudden I will feel my heart pounding my breathing is rapid and my mind is just playing this thought over and over, sometimes I am up and out of my seat or bed before I realise it, pacing around sometimes crying and its just uncontrolable.
I am generally happy with my lot in life, my basic wants and needs have been fulfilled, I have a loving wife, two wonderful children, a steady job, a house etc, but this is really starting to affect me more and more and I am worried that the older I get and the nearer the time comes the more this is going to happen and take over.
People have always found it hard to understand and I have had the "just don't think about it" or "do something to take your mind off it" which doesnt really help no one I know suffers from this so its difficult to explain it without sounding mad. I have been to the doctors but he was no help, he offered me a perscription of beta blockers but I avoided them like the plague.
What I also find concerning is that sometimes my 7 year old daughter mentions this and it scares me because I don't want her to suffer with this through her life (I have obviously hidden this from her).
I truly wish I could take the religous route, I was raised as a Catholic and went to church every week until my late teens but unfortunately I cannot believe, I do not want to take anything away from those with faith which ever it might be and I have a lot of respect for those that have strong beliefs, its just not something that I can believe in as hard as I have tried.
I would truly love to find a cure for this or at least a way to live / cope with it. Out of interest has as anyone thought about or tried hypnotherapy or cognative behaviour therapy to deal with it, this was suggested to me but I am a little sceptical about it?
So here I am this is me and I am glad that I am not alone in this, I am sorry to hear that it seems to be affecting so many young people luckily (if you can call it that) it did not hit me until I turned 20, and for no reason that I can remember. If you have read all of this then thank you for taking the time, I don't think I have ever written such a long forum post, but actually in some way just writing this down for what must be the first time has in some small way helped me get over tonights earlier attack.
Thanks
Simon.
wkraitgihet
22-04-10, 21:32
I know how you are feeling, I have been struggling with the same symptoms as you and its a terrible feeling. I find myself crying at just the thought of death, and that i am going to wind up alone because of it
Im here if you want to talk about it, and maybe we can help each other out with our problems! xxx
andrea thompson
22-04-10, 21:51
hiya hon
i have been there a couple of times and had all those horrid feelings and fears.. medication has helped me get through. you need to try to get some rest and find someone to talk to who understands.
just recently i was in a bad way - really worrying about my health and thinking i was dying.. then one night i just thought i might live one year or ten years and i am not going to spend my life worrying about when and how it is going to happen... i want to live my life and that is what i am gonna do!!! now if i feel iffy i just remind myself of my new positive way of looking at life... it is hard but you get through it.... you will hon... make sure you get the help you need... find something to give you some relief so you cn get some rest.
take care x x
Hello!
I hope we can all help each other too as i thought i was on my own and the only person who felt this way! But my advice is to get help or just to talk to some one about it. Today was the first day i spoke out when i phoned a help line and i am starting to feel better already, no way near a full recovery but one step at a time, right :)
I cry all the time about the fear of death and the fear of my family dieing as i have never lost anyone really close to me i dont know what it feels like and I am so scared, I just dont know what to do. I get panic attacts in the day but worst of all when i wake at night and just cant get back to sleep.
Jess X
Hello,
Its so good to know that i'm not on my with this :-)
I've been scared of dying for years but not to the extent that its made me have panic attacks, but recently it has caught up with me. Only early on this year i started to get really anxious about dying, i suffer from an irregular heartbeat and palpitation's which doesn't help my anxiety and from this I've been getting panic attacks, i just fear my hearts going to stop anytime, a vicious circle really!!!. I'ts the thought of no control really we lead our life's trying to control things but this one's a pain in the head (literally).
I've started C.B.T about a month ago and seems really positive i get some weird homework though :-) he told me last week that i have to stand on a bridge for 90 min!!! i know sounds extreme but its helps to overcome my fear of dying (fear of falling off and dying). Its really hit me hard i also cant stop crying and feel totally useless i'm normally a strong person but this one is really testing me.
KaoticKutie
30-06-12, 22:02
For me and it seems for many others here its not that that bothers me, it's actually the ceasing to be that causes me the most anxiety, that at some point I am no longer going to exist - nothing! My mind just cannot cope with that thought. The problem I have is that these attacks are getting more and more frequent, generally they happen at night they just come into my mind at once, I could be sitting there watching the T.V and all of a sudden I will feel my heart pounding my breathing is rapid and my mind is just playing this thought over and over, sometimes I am up and out of my seat or bed before I realise it, pacing around sometimes crying and its just uncontrolable.
I am generally happy with my lot in life, my basic wants and needs have been fulfilled, I have a loving wife, two wonderful children, a steady job, a house etc, but this is really starting to affect me more and more and I am worried that the older I get and the nearer the time comes the more this is going to happen and take over.
People have always found it hard to understand and I have had the "just don't think about it" or "do something to take your mind off it" which doesnt really help no one I know suffers from this so its difficult to explain it without sounding mad. I have been to the doctors but he was no help, he offered me a perscription of beta blockers but I avoided them like the plague.
OMG!! Started to read this thread, because of my fear of death, and was thinking.. wait.. I am not afraid im dying, nor am I afraid I will die.. or how i die (well, I am afraid of dying by choking/drowning.. that would be an awful way to go)... but exactly this.. that when I do die I will just cease to exist and that is it.. it makes me crazy to think about it.. and I will obsess on it.
I am 34 and think I have had this fear since the age of 5 when I was told everyone dies, I was so upset and shocked and still remember the day. As a child I was always a bit too anxious about my health and used to pray every night as I was scared as to what happens to us. I don't seem to worry about it as much now but when I do think about it it terrifies me
Steve Wilson
06-07-12, 03:40
hehe, tell me who's not afraid of death? oh come on...:roflmao:
yeah i can really understand that how it feels,but what i am goin thru is as worse as it gets,and what i am goin thru is fear of breathing,it sounds insane and going for more dan two months now,its like i feel that every breath i take may be the last,and i try my best to divert my mind into so many different things,i try listenin to music,goin out to bars,but it just helps me temporarily,but somehow i have this fear somewhre stuck in my head, and i just cant take dat out,i just wan to move on and i cant,and sometimes when my left arm pains or my chest,i quickly resort them to some sort of heart problems and they being root cause to my breathin worries,i am telling this all out here as this wil give me some relief and support i am looking for and hope and pray dat this fear wil end one day.
hehe, tell me who's not afraid of death? oh come on...:roflmao:
Steve, everyone may be afraid of death - well most people anyway, but I dont think a phobia can be bunched in with most people.
If we think about it, we fear it - but for some they become so preoccupied with the fear it can make life hell and in fact not living.
Just wondering of those people who are very scared and think about it often - have any of you had some help for it?
I have an extreme fear of death! I'm 13 years old and can't sleep at night, hang out with friends or enjoy my life:weep: I feel like I should not care or have fun with life because I will die anyway.
I had this a few years ago when I was at college. I would shake or day and could not distract myself from dying. I've learnt to accept now that we all die and its very natural. People have been dying for millions on years. I don't really fear death anymore but I do fear an unloved life. Being on my death bed with loads of regrets thinking 'I should of done this or that', now THAT is scary!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.