Hello

[anna-jo]

Hello everybody,
My names Jo and I think I have some kind of social phobia.

I find it very hard to make friends, not that I don't want to just i never know what to say. Im 38 and probably sound very sad, im married and many times I spend crying to my husband about how lonely I am even though he tried to reasure me that im his mate! its not the same he has loads of friends, which makes me feel inadequate.

I have 2 children (20 and 14)who i love dearly but they have their own life to live.

My parents forever told me 'id never amount to anything' and i kind of believed it, my self esteme is rock bottom, my husband does try to raise my spirits and even encouraged me to go back into education at the grand old age of 33, i contined with this and i am now in my final year of a nursing degree. On the wards I change into a different persona im confident but as soon as I get home im back to my normal miserable self. I have to into uni twicw a week for lectures but im always the saddo sat alone during breaks and lectures. They all go out for nights out; meals and stuff but im never invited. I even heard somebody saying once in my first year that I was boring and they had never liked me-that hurt.



Im sorry for going on bet you all think im pretty miserable too. Hopefully I can figure out where im going wrong or what it is that makes me so nervous around people.

Anyway this seems a nice friendly forum, im going to have a little read.

Bye for now Jo xx

[Lindalou64]

Hello And Welcome Congrats On Ya Nursing School As We Know Some People Can Me Quite Ignorant Maybe If Ya Can Just Open A Little To Some Might Be Good People I Wish You Well In All Ya Do.................linda

[sarajane]

http://img.freecodesource.com/myspace-graphics/images/hello%20graphics/animated/prod_458_32077.gif (http://www.freecodesource.com/myspace-graphics/getcode/hello_graphics/animated/prod_458_32077.gif.html)


Hi Jo and welcome to NMP.

I was also told I'd never amount to anything.

We have to keep reminding ourselves that these comments belong to the person saying them and that they do not belong to us.

You have two beautiful children, a husband that knows your worth having and also a very important job.

You are very special. With regard to the people you have overheard saying negative things about you, well it's their loss not yours.

These sort of people aren't worth having as friends anyway, because if they talk about you behind your back they obviously do it to everyone.

Welcome Jo, you will meet loads of genuine friends here.

Love
Sarajane

[kellie]

:welcome: :welcome: :welcome: Ann-jo to nmp its lovely to have you here. im so sorry about those pathetic ignorant ppl at uni and that your mom could never see just what a special person you were going to become. you are a wonderful mom and wife and also a nurse who gives so much love and help. you have just made yourself so many friends here ann who will want to talk your head off :D . you will get lots of support and great advice from all the lovely ppl on here. we have a great chat room and id love to talk to you anytime so please call in. forwarn your hubbie that he is about to become a computer widower as you are gonna have so many friends to talk to :roflmao: . lots of love and hugs to you ann take care :hugs: :hugs:.

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[pooh]

Hi there JO ! :welcome:

Firstly, I'd like to tell you just how great I've found this site since joining last week. It's really informative and the people I have met in chat have always been really friendly and supportive.

It's great to read that you are almost finished your nursing degree. I went to uni as a mature student and the oldest guy there was 59, so you're still pretty young to be completeing your studies. It sounds too that nursing really is for you because you feel confident and your esteem is high when you are on the job.

One of the things I do to feel less nervous and intimidated around people is to remember they are human too. I know some people imagine them naked lol If it's possible the next time its lunch when you are at uni try to approach some of your fellow students and ask about the lecture, how their placements are going, is it ok if i sit with you? And remember you are, always have been and always will be just as valuable as they are with just as much to contribute as they have.

Look (file://\\Look) forward to seeing you around the site :D

Pooh!

[chalky]

Hi Jo,

Welcome to the Forum!!

:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[anna-jo]

wow what a lovely welcome thank you for all your kind words and advice it means a lot, and my hubby is forewarned i am officially a forum junkie! xxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Jo

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

You will soon settle in and meet some great people.

[anna-jo]

thank you nicola

[groovygranny]

Hello Jo:welcome: to you!

First of all none of us here think you're miserable at all :hugs: and well done you for doing your nursing degree and I wish you every success:yesyes:

I hope I can encourage you a little. Social anxiety is my main anxiety, and I used to be so timid, unasssuming and quiet (there are a few on here who may contest that now lol!). I too felt the 'outsider' (and still do in certain areas) always on the outside looking in - never the other way round.

But, I've learned quite recently in the last couple of years since I was poorly, that I am as worthy as the next person. Joining nmp has reinforced that. It's still hard work at times, even with a supportive hubby and family, but the support and help I get from my friends here is invaluable.

And the site in general has been a godsend to me. I hope it will prove so for you too.

Pleased to meet you!

:flowers:

[Nibbles]

Hi Jo and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

People can be so cruel and thoughtless as it doesn't take a second to say something but the effects can last much longer. I think you're doing brilliantly doing a degree and coping so well at work. I'm sure you'll pick up some tips on here and will soon be making new friends... you've just found a bunch of them here!

Take care,

Mike :)

[Hope 2]

Hello Jo :D

I don't often post cos I am so lacking in confidence and self worth , but here goes eh .

I can relate to much of what you are going through . The main difference is the social side , I have always managed to put myself 'out there' by putting on a front . I have always put on a mask which hid the real me . I would appear to be confident and hid behind humour and was known as the daft one . But like you , I was STILL lonely cos of the way I truly felt .

Anyway back to the point lol . I was brought up to feel what ever I did was never good enough despite my best efforts . Which inevetably gave me the message that I was inadequate . I am so very pround of you that you have continued in nursing despite how you feel . The part I can SO relate too is that you become a different person when you are at work . I qualified in 1996 and got a job on an acute surgical unit which I worked on for 5 years . At work I was confident , caring and had self belief !!!!!!!!! The rest is a long story lol. I left nursing in 2001 cos of OCD and PND etc , and lost 'me' . I am desperate for help but feel unworthy of it from others . But I hang around anyway cos I feel like I may feel like I belong for once if I stick here out .

So sorry for going on hun but you really struck a chord with me :blush:
I really wish you well , have you been to GP's re yr probs ?
I am sure joining NMP will be the start of your journey xx
Give me a shout anytime :hugs:
Love Julia xx

[Dave777]

Hi Anna-Jo
Well, you've proved your parents wrong with the Nursing Degree studies.
A Hubby, 2 kids, wow!!, be proud, you are as good as the rest.
Some of us aren't the life and soul of the Party, some draw friends like a magnet, some of us aren't quite so lucky.

Be at ease with who you are Anna, give it your best shot.
If somebody doesn't like me it's their choice.
Take it from me, I'm 51 and have been around the block a few times:winks:

take care
Dave:flowers:

[Lilith1980]

From one Jo to another, welcome to NMP :)

You'll get lots of advice and support on here hun.

Jo xxxxx

[heidi]

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd152/heidi51/hello-4.jpg

Welcome to NMP, you will get loads of support and advice here and make many friends along the way... Don't forget to visit the chatroom !! :hugs:

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx