Fear of Danger!!!

[Bill]

Just my thoughts but whatever your viewpoint, I hope to make you "think".

Something I feel we Always need to remember is that it is our frightening thoughts that Create our anxiety symptoms. Therefore, the "cure" is to remember Why we feel so ill so that we learn how to counteract our negative thought processes and so control our symptoms.

The mind is very powerful. It is So powerful that it can deceive us into thinking we're Actually ill when we're not! Sometimes it's Too clever for its own good!

If we're in a crowded shop, we can feel panicky because we feel trapped and that trapped feeling has resulted due to stresses in our past or present. Our anxious symptoms are created through our "thoughts".

If we're sitting at home and we hear something that worries us, we can experience anxious symptoms because of our "thoughts".

If we're under alot of stress, our minds will look for something to worry about which is often about our own health. Our minds create our anxious symptoms through our "thoughts".

If we're confronted by a lion, we'll naturally feel afraid and our minds will create our anxious symptoms through our "thoughts".

It's just that in this modern day society, the stresses we are exposed to are of a different nature where we can't use the adrenalin our "thoughts" are producing so we can't run away from our fears so we feel "trapped" which causes our panics and "feeling ill".

The above I know I've talked about before but there's more to this.

By nature we often "worriers", sensitive and lack confidence so our although our "thoughts" create our symptoms, it is our thinking processes that create our "frightening thoughts".

Ok...so picture this. You're watching the sun go down. It's a gorgeous fiery warm glow........but you're standing near to a cliff edge! Do you enjoy the sunset or worry about getting too close to the cliff edge because of the drop!?

Ok...imagine you're holding a knife! Do you think of what you need it for in preparing food or do you have thoughts that it could harm you or you could harm someone else with it!?

Ok...if someone sneezes near you, do you think they could have hayfever or that dust has got up their nose..or do you worry you might catch a cold!?

Ok...if we go for an interview, do we feel confident in getting the job or fear failing!?

We know that our "frightening thoughts" create our anxious symptoms such as panic etc, and we also know that these "thoughts" are created by our negative thought processes. However, these negative thought processes exist because we perceive Everything as Danger! We have a "fear of Danger" because we need to keep "safe" and need to "feel safe".

This feeling of needing to keep safe is created by our feelings of insecurity. Perhaps we were born like it or perhaps things have happened in our lives to make us fear being abandoned.

Whatever the cause, our negative thoughts create our panics and anxious symptoms but its much more far reaching because All our thoughts and decisions are based on "fear". We are surrounded by "fear". We see danger Everywhere and in Everything where our fears are triggered because our "safe zone" feels under threat.

Therefore, it's not just a case of creating a positive approach to situations where we experience panics or anxious symptoms. We also need to learn a more relaxed approach to this world we live in by accepting "life" for what it is rather than looking for danger in everything. We can only build confidence and feel more secure by learning to "accept and enjoy life" and not "fearing living".:winks:

[chalky]

Hi Bill,

Thanks for this.
A fear of danger can also be an attribute-people refer to a sixth sense sometimes saving them from,for example,crossing a road just before a car speeds around the corner.There are countless other examples of this.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[sheba2]

Hi Bill

Another great post. Are yu sure you weren't listening in on my last counselling sessions. The knowledge that my anxiety comes from this feeling of 'not feeling safe' is what I have been looking at. It seems to go back to my earliest childhood memories where I picked up such conflicting messages. On one hand I was being taught to be independent and brave and stand up for myself and on the other I was being told that the world is a dangerous place with dangerous people. I have always felt that being frightened is a sign of weakness and yet encouraged to be frightened of the daily dangers of getting run over and the biggest impact of all 'not putting yourself in a dangerous situation'. I learnt avoidance at a very early age. But nobody noticed that it was stopping me from trying things out in a safe environment. Learning to swim was impossible. I was scared to have a bath in more that an inch of water in case I drowned. Getting this balance right is still really difficult for me and of course gives the panic full rein.

This has now led me onto the idea that I didn't feel secure with my parents love. But I'm not ready for that yet. Its almost as if I've got to learn the coping stratagies I should have learnt in childhood now at 52. But better late than never I suppose.

Looking forward to your next thoughts. Can I ask (And I wont be upset if yu don't want to share this) how you feel now and maybe a little bit of your background as you seem so calm and collected I can't imagine you suffering from panic. Thanks

[sheba2]

have just seen yur reply to forgetmenot and will check out your success story. Thanks Bill

[Bill]

Hi Chalky, yes, I believe there are people who are psychic and who have premonitions so yes, it certainly can be an attribute. They say animals have this sixth sense although I've noticed our cat only seems to come in once the rain starts and he gets wet!:D But seriously, they do seem to pick up on things that we can't...or perhaps with senses we "used" to have.

I think we have an "exaggerated" sense of danger because of our need to feel "safe". Often it's because we don't like to experience the symptoms of fear - our anxiety symptoms - so it's also linked to "fear of experiencing fear".

The need to feel safe stems from our insecurities which I think can happen for various reasons. My mother tells me I couldn't be left alone in the pram but I've no idea why it appears I was born with this insecurity. Also though, people can suffer bad experiences. They could have been mistreated, neglected, let down, hurt or forced to spend long periods alone. All these things can cause somone to feel abandoned or rejected so enforces a sense of insecurity.

One important key though is allowing offspring to gain "confidence" in their own abilities from a young age.
nobody noticed that it was stopping me from trying things out in a safe environment.
Just as you say Sheba, if we're over-protected, we can't prove to ourselves that we're "capable" and so as we grow older and suddenly find we Have to do things for ourselves, we end up doubting ourselves. Also though, lack of confidence causes anxiety problems and affects our thinking processes. Confidence is a major factor.

Its almost as if I've got to learn the coping stratagies I should have learnt in childhood

I think in many ways your statement above is right. A teacher once said to me that there are those in life who as they grow older, learn to cope with everything thrown at them and there are those who find growing up a struggle.

If the foundations aren't put in place from an early age then the tree will struggle to resist storms that occur as we grow older. I think perhaps we can be "over loved" or "unloved" and both can cause anxieties. I think it's a Very difficult job getting the balance right as a parent. I think people with a sensitive nature really need to feel "loved" and given plenty of affection But they also needed to be allowed freedom to learn how to cope for themselves.

In my case I am the youngest of 4. My eldest brother was told to look after me and now he's like a second father. Looking after me was probably a good thing for "him" because he must have gained confidence through the responsibility but for me being the youngest, I was probably over-protected. My mother though wouldn't give me the affection I needed because she said she didn't want me growing up "mothered". There's no doubt that she loves me but a lack of affection added to being over-protected and my insecurities from when I was born no doubt all contributed to my anxieties. As I grew older, my brothers and sister all left by the time I was 12 and I'm sure that also added to my anxieties because I felt abandoned.

Anyway, the past is the past. I think it helps to understand the reasons "why" we're like we are now but the more important matters are learning to come to terms to enable us to move forward.

I feel if we push ourselves to do the things we're afraid of, we begin to build confidence and confidence in ourselves and our own abilities is the key to overcoming anxiety but we need to feel ready and we also need the right support to take the first steps.

Hmmm, me calm? Not always! Yes, I did use to suffer panics, different forms of anxiety from an early age and I also went through a very bad phase but I'm still here and I do cope Alot better than I used to! Hope you found "my story" because it tells you alot more of the things I've been through. I don't regard myself as "cured" but I do cope Ok!:hugs:

[sheba2]

Having read your story my admiration for your ability to hit the nail on the head has increased. you have achieved so much to be proud of and I thank you for your desire to share your knowledge and thoughts with the people on this site. :hugs:

Interestingly there are similarities between our early years. I am the youngest of 4 too and my older brother always had to look out for us. I also had the advantage/disadvantage of being the only girl so I was segregated from my brothers by having my own room whilst they all shared. My mother although very caring was totally unaffectionate and very much of the stiff upper lip and pull yourself together brigade. My parents were quite strict and devout catholics so not only was their displeasure a key part of my fear but also the wrath of god!

I am working on changing this fearful outlook that I have on life because ultimitley I see the panic as a symptom of this. I am an anxious person who strangely is calm in a crisis.

I am so glad that you feel good most of the time your success helps me see what is possible.:)

[Bill]

I am an anxious person who strangely is calm in a crisis.

You know why you're calm in a crisis?:shrug: It's because you haven't got time to "think"!!!:winks:

How often do we hear people praised for brave actions and they reply "I didn't even "think" about it"?

It's the "thinking" that causes our panics and anxiety symptoms. If we don't think deeply about thoughts and don't give ourselves time to think about them, we find we're much more capable than we realise!

Often we don't even realise we're "thinking" something and instead focus on the symptoms which then make us "think" we're actually ill when we're not!

How many people say they feel "ill" as soon as they wake up in the morning and then worry what illness they might be suffering from?

The truth is that our subconscious immediately reminds us we have another day full of stress and anxiety symptoms to get through which immediately creates those same symptoms we're afraid of Before we've even got out of bed. We then start worrying about those symptoms making our anxiety feel even worse!

If you see a lion (not that we do here!), you wouldn't be "thinking" about being eaten, your subconscious would immediately be preparing your body to run because it's a pre-programmed response.

When we wake in the mornings, we're so used to feeling anxious, we don't "Have" to think about what we're afraid of. The pre-programming immediately creates the automatic response.

Sorry I've gone off track but it shows how our "thinking" creates our anxiety symptoms as a pre-programmed response and why when we don't have that pre-programming or time to "think", we find we actually cope fine.........which shows we're not actually "ill", we just make ourselves "think" we are!:winks: