feelbad73
09-03-08, 10:20
Im 34 yrs old and my life has been totally ruined for the last 10 years or more by what the docs say is anxiety disorder. In the last year my energy levels have gone totally, my legs ache continually as if they are in spasm, when i stand up I feel like i just can't stand, they feel like they are going to burst at times. I feel this devastating fatigue from the minute I get up out of bed till I go to sleep at night every single day. In the morning I stand with difficulty and pain in the shower wondering how on earth I can get myself better. I can't stand being alone in the house as I feel like I haven't the energy to help myself. I don't go out myself either due to all these feelings. If I do go out I have the ugliest of feelings as if Im been ripped apart from the inside, extreme dizziness, suffocating feelings, just total anguish.
I am trying to force myself at the moment to do things like going for walks but it feels absolutley crazy doing this to myself. The only way Im able to do this is by just not caring whether I live or die anymore, if this is what its going to take, Ive tried everything else I know. Anyone else experience this utter fatigue?
I also feel like im suffocating a lot and with extreme bouts of panic pretty much continually. The panic seems much worse after pushing myself. Its like its hard just trying to get thru the minutes in the day. A part of me has given up if Im honest, My panic attacks, if you can call them that, no longer last minutes or even an hour or two but can last days, even a week or two without lowering in intensity, the doctors I have seen over the years just can't find anything wrong they all say anxiety is causeing it. Its funny tho that during these times of so called panic Im not outwardly panicing at all anymore, Ive just given up to these feelings as if its totally hopeless fighting, I sit there as if dead inside while the pain and anguish rages inside my body. Its hard to understand how I can have a panic attack without panicing, but apparently thats what is happening according to the doctor anyway.
One last thing, many times when i have done maybe too much walking or exerting myself I seem to enter a state where for up to two weeks I can feel very uncomfortable constant anxiety, and utter fatigue even more than normal, I always try to explain this to the doctor by using the words breakdown. Its like for days following I just constantly feel like im suffocating, its is extremely hard to deal with and many times I have run off to accident and emergency absolutley convinced Im going to stop breathing again many times I walk in there totally resigned to this fact with no outward panic, which probably seems hard to believe but Ive just been thru this so many times I know it never happens even tho it feels that way, its like ive given up being scared or just caring in a way. I dont know what else I can do, Im away for a walk right now and I can tell you i feel like crap and i know its gonna get worse, alot worse before the days out, so much that its unbearable, but I can't see any other way after 14 years of suffering this. Anyone like me and seen the light yet or maybe even just dealing with the same things? If there is I take my hat of to you cause I know exactly how hard this is for me, gone are the days when I just had panic attacks and still had a life, this is 24/7!
I am trying to force myself at the moment to do things like going for walks but it feels absolutley crazy doing this to myself. The only way Im able to do this is by just not caring whether I live or die anymore, if this is what its going to take, Ive tried everything else I know. Anyone else experience this utter fatigue?
I also feel like im suffocating a lot and with extreme bouts of panic pretty much continually. The panic seems much worse after pushing myself. Its like its hard just trying to get thru the minutes in the day. A part of me has given up if Im honest, My panic attacks, if you can call them that, no longer last minutes or even an hour or two but can last days, even a week or two without lowering in intensity, the doctors I have seen over the years just can't find anything wrong they all say anxiety is causeing it. Its funny tho that during these times of so called panic Im not outwardly panicing at all anymore, Ive just given up to these feelings as if its totally hopeless fighting, I sit there as if dead inside while the pain and anguish rages inside my body. Its hard to understand how I can have a panic attack without panicing, but apparently thats what is happening according to the doctor anyway.
One last thing, many times when i have done maybe too much walking or exerting myself I seem to enter a state where for up to two weeks I can feel very uncomfortable constant anxiety, and utter fatigue even more than normal, I always try to explain this to the doctor by using the words breakdown. Its like for days following I just constantly feel like im suffocating, its is extremely hard to deal with and many times I have run off to accident and emergency absolutley convinced Im going to stop breathing again many times I walk in there totally resigned to this fact with no outward panic, which probably seems hard to believe but Ive just been thru this so many times I know it never happens even tho it feels that way, its like ive given up being scared or just caring in a way. I dont know what else I can do, Im away for a walk right now and I can tell you i feel like crap and i know its gonna get worse, alot worse before the days out, so much that its unbearable, but I can't see any other way after 14 years of suffering this. Anyone like me and seen the light yet or maybe even just dealing with the same things? If there is I take my hat of to you cause I know exactly how hard this is for me, gone are the days when I just had panic attacks and still had a life, this is 24/7!