Everyone Has Anxiety So Why Am I So Effected By It?

[samtheman]

This dawned on me lastnight in bed, I was thinking about friends/relatives/wife and they all have anxiety.

For example when with friends, they have to have a few drinks before going out to relax them a bit because they are anxious, I remember one occasion when we were going to a concert, I was anticipating the worst, my stomach was turning etc, I met up with these guys only to discover they where having the exact same symptoms.

I look at my wife, She gets really anxious before going on long car journeys, or if she isn't driving IE is a passenger in the front or back she is the worst, her stomach turns, she has diarrhea etc the same as myself.

Everyone I know gets anxious, yet they just get on with it, why does it effect me so much then?? When I look back about 6 years ago, I was the same, I just got on with it, then I went to see my doctor who diagnosed anxiety and to be honest from that point on my life changed, I started googling, coming on message boards etc and to be honest anxiety has turned into an obsession. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to anxiety. I don't have anxiety 24/7 just the same as a normal person IE when in a crowded place, or going on a car journey which seems to be normal so why am I so effected by it, I have avoidance behaviour but why? I'm not scared of anything, As mentioned I just have normal anxiety levels.

I know I did have a bout of about 6 months with depersonlisation but that was about 6 years ago unless its that I'm living in fear of subconciously, all I know there is something subconcious stopping me doing things I used to.

To be right I should stop posting and never google or talk about anxiety again, but its became like a hobby almost.

A good way of comparing it is like this. If I have a cold or man flu, its like I am knocking at deaths door, the wife has it and sure she feels rough but just gets on with things, I'm off work and lying in bed thinking i'm going to die or something

[sheba2]

Hi sam

I think there is an element of truth to what you say. But I think we have become afraid of that feeling we fear the fear. This stops us just accepting that fear of something particulary challenging is normal. We are frightened to feel this. We don't like that feeling we don't want it to happen so we don't do it if we can help it. It is now on our minds constantly. How wil I feel, is this or that situation going to scare us etc. Like you I have felt that I obsess over this problem but then I have gained so much help from the knowledge I've learnt through that obsession. Just need to put it into practise.

[Bill]

As Sheba says, we become afraid of experiencing anxiety symptoms so try to avoid them.

Also though "anxiety" means "a troubled mind". We tend to be deep thinkers and worry about things that wouldn't bother others and that's why they're able to forget anxious feelings because they don't "worry" about them.

If someone said to you we're just going for a short drive NOW, you wouldn't get time to worry about it and so wouldn't get anxious...even if it then turned out that you were out all day.

This is what's so bad about therapy sometimes. They arrange an appointment so immediately people start worrying about going out. By the time the day arrives, they're a nervous wreck so either find they can't then go out or experience a panic attack as a result because they've got so stressed at the "thought" of going out.

The best way to overcome a fear is to be spontaneous and confront fears on the spur of the moment Before worry creates the anxious symptoms that cause the panics.

It's not always possible of course but if I don't feel in the mood, I put off what can wait until on the spur of the moment I suddenly remember it needs doing and if I feel ok, I just get on with it there and then. I'm always doing that!

Also we need to remind ourselves not to dwell and think deeply about worrying thoughts but instead think or do "nice" things we enjoy, otherwise we just end up making ourselves feel overly anxious.:winks: