What train!?

[Bill]

I heard a great phrase today.........

"There is Always light at the end of the tunnel.........and it's probably from an oncoming train!!!":D

I just thought it was brilliant! Isn't it just how we think and what we expect from life? It made me laugh!:D

We always expect things to stay bad or get worse because we've always been treated badly in the past so expect the same things to happen in the future! We always seem to overlook the good things in our past and the good things we have.

One of my fathers comments when asked how he was feeling was "Not bad!" Never "on top of the world" or "I feel Great....isn't life fun!"

I can't judge though because I'm just like he was! Always seeking perfection and never totally satisfied with myself or with my life.

We're always so harsh on ourselves and yet so praising of others. We can never see the good in us because we always expect perfection from ourselves.

Perfectionism rules our lives. We have to get everything "just right". Perfectionism causes us so much pressure and stress yet we can't let go and ease up on ourselves.

Perfectionism can be a good quality to have, used in the correct way. We can use it as determination and willpower to succeed providing we focus on what we Do achieve and not on the things "not quite right". We should seek to constantly achieve goals but not focus on our failings.

We should praise ourselves more, not punish ourselves for not being perfect!

Perfectionism can be our ally or our foe. We can praise ourselves for our achievements or beat ourselves up for our failings.

We can always expect the train as the light in the tunnel believing things will always be hopeless because our hopes have always been crushed in the past or we can keep "hope" close to us believing things can get better..........but we need to learn to be patient with ourselves, and love ourselves First reminding ourselves we Always do "our Best".:hugs:

[sarajane]

http://img.freecodesource.com/myspace-graphics/images/animated%20graphics/hugs%5Ekisses/prod_594_15817.gif (http://www.freecodesource.com/myspace-graphics/getcode/animated_graphics/hugs%5Ekisses/prod_594_15817.gif.html)
Well said Bill x x x

[sheba2]

One of the first things I had to do in my counselling sessions was write a list of all the things I achieved in a week without using the word BUT. Usually I would say something like I went for a walk on Monday BUT I only managed to stay out for 5 mins. or I took my daughter to school BUT I had to use the car so that I felt safe. Each positive was followed by a negative and you can guess the one that felt right for me. Yep each time I did anything I felt that I had failed by not achieving enough.

By keeping this weekly list of things I achieve I have managed to start changing those negative thought patterns that have been such a big part of me. I need lots of practice but it has made a difference by simply bringing to my attention how negative I was.

[Bill]

We often don't realise just how negative we are because we've been like it so long that it's become a habit.

It's not just how we perceive things either. We look at Everything in a negative way with doubt. Some people end up being bitter as a result because they've got so used to being put under the thumb so can't accept good things can and do happen.

It's like when we go out. Someone will say what a lovely sunny day it is and we'll be thinking it's bound to rain! We are always looking for bad things to happen rather than looking for the good in life because we take all the bad on our shoulders and absorb all the hurt and pains within us.

When we think of everything in a negative way and absorb all this negative energy, we actually cause ourselves harm because they store up inside us which cause us anxiety. We have to learn to release bad feelings which is where counselling helps otherwise we implode and remain in a state of despair.

When we're negative about everything, we allow fear to control us because we expect bad things to happen if we try to do anything. We're defeated before we begin which leads to a depressed state thinking living is hopeless. We assume that if we go out, we'll be flattened by that train so we give up. If we treat the train as a ray of light and stop expecting to be flattened, then this new way of thinking can carry us through the tunnel to where the light truly exists.

An example would be panic attacks. We don't go out because we assume we'll have a panic attack. We're so afraid of them so believe we'll be flattened by that train but if we don't assume and instead believe in ourselves that they won't happen, then they don't. So often our negative approach brings the train on ourselves.