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View Full Version : I've just had enough now



louwilliams
17-03-08, 16:44
Hi-and yes sorry its ANOTHER long one.

well today i've been back into A&E-to no avail......AGAIN. 4th time in 3 weeks.

I spent the entire weekend in bed (Friday afternoon to Monday morning-only getting out of bed to use the bathroom) and i've had my children here the whole time. as a few of you will know, my partner Mark is not the most understanding bloke in the world and we argue like mad over this illness but he really came through for me this weekend and looked after the girls brilliantly (fed them, took them out and even persuaded them to have a bath! lol)

Joking aside, i've honestly just had enough of this now and I can't stand it anymore. I sat in bed last night, after everyone was asleep, and cried my eyes out. Mark woke up and asked me what was wrong and I said "if this is how my life is gonna be, then there's no point" and I really meant it. My children have no kind of quality of life with me (they are 9&10 and this morning I forced myself out of bed to make their breakfast and went straight back to bed after arranging for their dad to take them to school) The pain I am in is riduculous, this constant lurching, sickening knot in my stomach, chest pains as well as ectopics. I am sick of taking Daizepam and am worrying i will get addicted to it.

I went into A&E this morning, to be greeted with the most horrid, snide triage nurse I have ever come across. earlier this week I had received a letter from the hospital saying I had been referred for a 24hr ecg trace and they would let me know when my appointment was. I showed this to the nurse and she said "well dont think you can jump the queue just cause youve come in here-this is an accident and EMERGENCY unit you know" I felt horrendous and was told to go to the waiting room. Eventually I was seen, the routine ecg was done BP taken and blood sugar done bla bla bla all came back normal as usual.

Now the doctor says that he thinks i could have gallstones (which would explain the stomach knot and pains) and has referred me for an ultrasound on my stomach. So all in all I am waiting for a 24hr ECG trace, an ultrasound on my stomach, and Echo scan on my heart (for the ectopics) and the results for the 24hr urine test. I got a bit upset and said surely he could do something else, as I cant live like this day in day out, and he said that yes there is but he couldnt do them all at once-i have been given tablets (rantidine or summat?) which will take another 3/4 weeks to kick in and he said in the mean time to take 3 x 2mg diaz a day for the next 2 weeks. the apointments will take anything between 3 and 6 weeks (so he says)

Sorry for the rant but ive had enough. my quality of life, if you can call it that, is complete crap, my kids have no life with me and my relationship with my partner is rapidly going under. I even phoned the mental health unit to see if I could admit myself just in case this was all in my head???

seriously........whats the point? Can someone give me any reassurance that the knot in my stomach is not life threatening, that the ectopics and palp's arent gonna stop my heart instantly and that the chest pains arent a heart attack. I know I need a good slap but this really has got out of control now.

Mumto2
17-03-08, 19:01
You sound just like I felt 6 months ago, I couldn't even come out of my bedroom, it made me run straight back to it if I came out, I got in such a state, I cried non stop for 5 to 6 days, my husband was amazing and stayed off work to look after the kids and me but it wore him out (my constant crying and not wanting to live like that anymore) in the end he spoke to my mum and she came up and was worried sick, she thought I was going to have to be admitted to hospital, she had never seen me like that, she was amazing too and got a Dr out to me, after about 7 days of hardly leaving my bedroom I felt ready to again and very slowly started getting better, I haven't been 100% since but I am working on it slowly.

I am also on ranitidine for stomach issues, I only ever have problems above my belly button and can feel so ill at times I end up crying.

All I can say is that your life will get better, I know it doesn't feel like it but you really need to take one day at a time, I have had a few bad days but today has been better and its days like today that I realise I am getting there and you will too.

Have you had your boyfriend look at this site? Or something else that will help him to understand more. I can't imagine how hard it is for you because I have a supportive husband (I often ask him why he is still with me aftr all I have put him through) but I know I wouldn't be able to cope at all if I was on my own so you are doing really well.

Take Care of yourself, take one day at a time and dont beat yourself up.

Carrie

erialc
17-03-08, 19:35
Awwwww Lou sorry you are having a pants time at the mo :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::h ugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:


Just wanted to send u some hugs

Claire xxxxxxx

chalky
17-03-08, 20:47
Hi Lou,

Things sound pretty bad at the moment.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Yet,you are doing lots of things to try to get to the bottom of your health issues.I know that this isn't happening as quickly as you would like but then how many of us here are able to display much patience when it is us in the firing line?
You have lots of friends here who believe in you and who know that you will come through this,stronger for the experience.
Never give up on yourself-we won't.
Best wishes,
Chalky

weeble40
17-03-08, 20:56
Aww Lou big big hugs mate, things will start to look up again soon, you've had a lot on your plate lately, if in the meantime you want to talk feel free to message me, I'm here for you,

Emma xxxxx