Return of fear(kind of gross; sorry)

[Mags01SP]

Hi guys; I've been a part of this community for probably two years, but I usually only come on to search threads and get help that way.. but I need some personal answers, if anyone can help me, with this one.

I'm 17 now, but when I was 14 or 15 I used to be really afraid of having diarrhea in public places. I know some others share this fear, but of course no one really brings it up because it is rather gross and a weird paranoia. I didn't go many places, like concerts or trips to the city, because of it. Over time it just kind of went away. I would get nervous thinking about it, especially if I didn't know if bathrooms were around, then my stomach would start to churn and I would feel like I had to go(usually I didn't even have to).

Now I have a part time job, and on Sunday evening I was working and actually had to go. I work at a zoo and do tours there; I had to leave a tour to use the restroom and another coworker took over for me. I ended up going home because I couldn't take another tour without having to leave. Unfortunately now I'm afraid to go to work in fear that it will happen again. I know it's such a strange, irrational fear but it's the only thing that's gotten me feeling anxious again since.. summertime. I'm on 50mg of Zoloft and have been fine otherwise.

How can I deal with this? I've been trying to tell myself I've been working there for almost 8 months and have only 'had to go' once so I shouldn't even care about it. I work on Friday and am dreading it.

Again, I'm sorry about this, but I needed to seek help from people who have an idea about how anxiety feels and what thoughts it produces.

Thanks,
Maggie

[alexis]

Hi Maggie, looking at it the opposite way you could try to turn it round, I used to avoid park and ride car parks, or any with a barrier as it was my worst nightmare it wouldnt open and i would be there with a line of people behind me.
I would only go if with ex hubby, I would drive for miles to avoid, and pay vast amounts of parking fees instead of making use of free ones.
At Christmas it happened, it was awful ,I was hot and bothered, and embarrassed at being stuck there with 3 cars behind me. but once i got away..... after having to bring the attendant to let me out,I just kept saying its happened, Ive lived, Ive survived it, only I was aware of it (and my friend in the car), but it didnt matter what the people in the other cars thought as id never see them again, I felt id jumped a hurdle, lived through another one of my fears.
I know this is completely different to your problem, but try to remain positive, and keep going,enjoy work, we spend a lot of our life there, its awful to have "fears" I still have so many but one less now, take care, and sorry for rambling! xxx