cookiemonster
20-03-05, 23:26
I stumbled across this website while searching for something else, but I'm really glad I found it. I'm 15 years old, and I've had anxiety/panic attacks on and off ever since I can remember. I think I had the first full blown panic attack when I was 8, and they were pretty intense. The anxiety subsided when I was around 11 or 12, and up until this past fall I would only have a panic attack once in a blue moon, and I felt in control of them by that time.
Then came November of 2004. I'd been sick for awhile with something going around- no big deal. Then one evening I could feel my heart skipping beats, and I had a pretty high fever so my mom took me to the hospital. To make a long story short, it turns out I had a mycoplasma infection and hadn't been drinking enough, so I was dehydrated and that probably set off the abornmal heartbeat.
I did better for a few weeks, but then I started feeling sick again. I was stupid enough to google my symptoms, and I soon had myself convinced that my thirst was not from a cold, but rabies. It feels so silly typing this out, but at the time it was all I could think about. I never told anyone because I knew it was foolish, and eventually I stopped worrying about that. I did however, develop some sort of upper respiratory infection and my doctor put me on Albuterol. One of the side effects: anxiety. Which meant I was up all night pacing and feeling like I couldn't breathe. This was around Christmas because I remember sitting in church on Christmas Eve and having such an intense panic attack that I wasn't sure if I could make it through the service without fainting or throwing up. The next panic attack was on New Year's eve; but it was relatively mild and I had a good time otherwise.
My latest bout of anxiety began on the last Thursday in January. On Friday I was at the hospital again, kept overnight and released on Saturday with the diagnosis of panic attack. The following week was the most intense anxiety I've ever experienced. I woke up early from strange dreams and spent my time not being able to sit still and I couldn't concentrate on schoolwork (I'm homeschooled). I'm a Christian, and the anxious thought of choice was: What if I'm not really a Christian, and I'm going to go to hell when I die? This type of anxious thinking ruled my life for a month or so before I went to see someone, who diagnosed me with obsessive-compulsive disorder, and prescribed Zoloft and, temporarily, Klonopin. Apparantly I'm one of a minority of people with OCD who experience obsessions without compulsions.
Right now I'm doing better but I wouldn't say I'm "cured". The other day while eating at a restaurant I had a panic attack, but it was the first since New Year's eve. I'm actually interested in doing things with friends again, whereas for awhile I didn't even feel like leaving the house. Still, it can't hurt to have support for those bad days, and maybe I'll be able to help someone else. I didn't intend to make this so long, but it does help to write it out.
Then came November of 2004. I'd been sick for awhile with something going around- no big deal. Then one evening I could feel my heart skipping beats, and I had a pretty high fever so my mom took me to the hospital. To make a long story short, it turns out I had a mycoplasma infection and hadn't been drinking enough, so I was dehydrated and that probably set off the abornmal heartbeat.
I did better for a few weeks, but then I started feeling sick again. I was stupid enough to google my symptoms, and I soon had myself convinced that my thirst was not from a cold, but rabies. It feels so silly typing this out, but at the time it was all I could think about. I never told anyone because I knew it was foolish, and eventually I stopped worrying about that. I did however, develop some sort of upper respiratory infection and my doctor put me on Albuterol. One of the side effects: anxiety. Which meant I was up all night pacing and feeling like I couldn't breathe. This was around Christmas because I remember sitting in church on Christmas Eve and having such an intense panic attack that I wasn't sure if I could make it through the service without fainting or throwing up. The next panic attack was on New Year's eve; but it was relatively mild and I had a good time otherwise.
My latest bout of anxiety began on the last Thursday in January. On Friday I was at the hospital again, kept overnight and released on Saturday with the diagnosis of panic attack. The following week was the most intense anxiety I've ever experienced. I woke up early from strange dreams and spent my time not being able to sit still and I couldn't concentrate on schoolwork (I'm homeschooled). I'm a Christian, and the anxious thought of choice was: What if I'm not really a Christian, and I'm going to go to hell when I die? This type of anxious thinking ruled my life for a month or so before I went to see someone, who diagnosed me with obsessive-compulsive disorder, and prescribed Zoloft and, temporarily, Klonopin. Apparantly I'm one of a minority of people with OCD who experience obsessions without compulsions.
Right now I'm doing better but I wouldn't say I'm "cured". The other day while eating at a restaurant I had a panic attack, but it was the first since New Year's eve. I'm actually interested in doing things with friends again, whereas for awhile I didn't even feel like leaving the house. Still, it can't hurt to have support for those bad days, and maybe I'll be able to help someone else. I didn't intend to make this so long, but it does help to write it out.