what would you do ? help

[nok_tok]

edited

[shoegal]

Hi Kittypink81,

I think you should go! :yesyes:

It sounds like the perfect time to go as your partner is currently not working and you have someone you trust to look after your children. I understand that it is difficult to leave your children, but there will be times when you need to so why not start now and have the holiday of a lifetime? You shouldn't feel guilty at all as everybody deserves a break. Plus, you could make it sound as if the children are getting a holiday too - I'm sure they'd love the idea of a week of treats at Grandma's!!!

When you suffer from anxiety it is easy to worry about all the 'what if's'... but 'what if' this is the best decision you ever made, or 'what if' it's the holiday of a lifetime? Do you see what I mean? Try to focus on the positives and not the negatives and TREAT YOURSELF!

I hope you decide to go and I hope you have a fabulous time. I really do. :)

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx

[nok_tok]

edited

[shoegal]

Hi there,

I know what you mean about focusing on the negatives because I do it all the time! I think writing the positives down in a book is a great idea because when you get anxious you can look at the list to reassure yourself.

I think it would be a good idea to take a little bit of valium with you if it is something you have used before. I believe it is commonly used on planes when people suffer from panic attacks and there is no shame is using it every now and again. I carry a tablet with me in my pocket at all times because I like to know it is there 'just in case' but I very rarely have to take it.

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx :)

[nok_tok]

edited

[lesleyB]

Hi, I think you should go. Everybody deserves a treat at sometime and it does'nt make you a bad mother, I expect they will have a great time at your mums.Go and enjoy yourself try not to think about the plane journey, prehaps the inflight movie will help you to switch of for a while.:yesyes:
Hope you have a great time and be kind to yourself.:flowers:
Lesleyb

[Coni]

Hi KittyPink, I had to go to New York last September...My friends organised it and my husband paid for it as it was my 40th birthday. It was one of those mad impulsive moments where I agreed to it thinking I could do it and then worried myself sick about it from that moment on (I think everyone was fed up listening to me lol). I kept thinking I couldnt do it and I almost cancelled so many times you wouldnt believe... but with the support of my friends and family and everyone on here I did it....and Im so glad I did. It was only four days but like you I kept imagining the worst of all scenarios, all the what ifs... Iwas also scared Id make a fool of myself as there were a couple of girls going I didnt know so well ....but it was fine.

I didnt sleep well before it and leaving the kids was hard but once your on that plane you'll be fine....I took some rescue remedy and some diazepam and just knowing I had them there really helped.

Theres so much to do and see the time will fly past and you'll be home again before you know it...Im sure you really deserve this break and the kids will have a ball....they'll miss you, sure, and you them, but thats all perfectly normal and it will be a great experience.

I hope this helps a little

luv Coni XX

[chalky]

Hi Kitty,

The doubts you have expressed about leaving the kids and the "what-ifs" are natural,normal mothering instincts.
If you were to leave the kids though,what better person to look after them than your own mother.Sounds like you are being very responsible.
It is heart-breaking when cases like Madeleine's do happen,the only blessing is that they are so rare.Whether you go or not,accidents can happen with kids-they get lost in shopping centres,they fall over,etc.The fact that you are leaving them in the care of someone they love and trust should provide you with re-assurance.
When we are faced with financial problems,"running away" from them doesn't seem like a good idea.However,this trip may provide you and your partner with a change to recharge your batteries and plan a way out of the situation.It may be just what you both need.
I guess I'm trying to say GO,GO,GO!!!!

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Well done for posting about these issues.Don't worry about people not responding.Experience has shown me that there will always be a response in this Forum.People here do care.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[franfhm]

Kitty I think you should go! I had a "moment" last summer where I booked flights to Australia with my partner.

I spent the rest of the time worrying about the plane, and germs, and being sick.

I got on the plane, ended up sitting next to a lovely couple and my worries vanished.

I had a fabulous time and was really glad I did it, I've come home feeling 20x better about life and always feel like making the most of life.

Even if you don't have much money to spend while your out there, why not just get an ice cream, sit in Central Park and watch the world go by? We did a lot of that whilst in Sydney and it was great to just relax.

I'm sure you'll have a fab time, and once you get on that plane you'll be so glad you did.

[Angel64]

Hi, I can understand your concerns both as a mother and a worrier !!

I do think though that you must stop worrying and start getting excited. I dont know the age of your kids but I am sure they will love a week with their Granny. You and your partner deserve a break at the moment, bet you never thought for one moment you would be the lucky winner !! I believe things happen for a reason and if you werent meant to go you wouldnt have won.

So go dust down them suitcases, (don't think its warm enough for the suncreme lol), iron your best frock and his shirt and tie - sound like a posh gaff !! and go have some fun. Take loads of pics to show the kids, and bring them back something nice, dont bring them back a t-shirt that reads "my mum went to the top of the empire state building and bought me back this lousy t-shirt !!" my sons gran bought him one of those back and he wasnt impressed !!

I dont underestimate the fact that your anxiety may get in the way at times,
but it it wants to go to New York with you let it, and prove to it that you can do things and wont be controlled by it anymore.

Can I just say you obviously love your kids to bits but always remember, Grandma was once your Mum and Mums are always right.

Make sure you put some pics on here when you get back.

Christine xx :flowers:

[nok_tok]

edited

[nok_tok]

edited

[nok_tok]

edited

[pooh]

Hi Kitty!

Can't help with the visa situation but I do know you are allowed to take prescribed medication on board with you, I had a bottle of four tablets of diazepam on the last flight i was on from the doc and I also rather cheekily had a full strip of the stuff to. I wasn't asked or questioned about it at all.

Hope that eases your mind a little.

Oh! and congratulations on maybe beinga mum again!

Lynne x

[wrain]

Go and have a blast. We all need to just get away and recharge. I think this is going to be a great experience for you, your partner, your children and your mom.

I can't wait till you return and fill us in on how wonderful the trip was and how glad you are that you took it.

Have fun!!

Kym

[nok_tok]

edited

[shoegal]

Hi kittypink81,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Why don't you phone the NHS helpline and ask them about the diazepam? I think a low dose taken as a one off would be ok but please don't take my word for it in case I am wrong. I have been given conflicting advice regarding this from different Doctors; I think some like to play it safe and just say 'no'.

I hope you have a fantastic time. Please let us know how it went when you get back.

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx :)

[andrewc]

Hi Kitty

All these negative thoughts you are having about your holiday are very common amongst anxiety sufferers. Please sit down comfortable and close your eyes and visualise a time before when you were well and looked forward to going on holiday. See yourself and remember how you felt and the excitement and anticipation of going on holiday and how good it made you feel. Now try to hold on to these thoughts all the time and forget about apprehensions. This helped and still helps me a lot when I travel.

I wish you well and have a great holiday.

Andy

[nok_tok]

edited

[andrewc]

Hi Kitty

Please get out of the loop of worry. The more negatives you think about the worst you will feel. It doesn't help that you have a sore throat and a sick baby I know but if you think of positive thoughts you WILL fell better. Dont forget there are millions of people travelling every minute of the day but when we suffer from anxiety we forget all about them don't we. Please PM me if you need any help.

Regards

Andy

[nok_tok]

edited

[nok_tok]

edited

[andrewc]

Hi Kitty

You are cought in the "what if" loop.
What if I slip over and hurt myself
What if I get knocked over by a car
What if the plane gets a flat tyre
What if I miss my plane
etc etc etc

Can you see that if we get cought in this cenario we can go on and on and on.
You must say to your self: -
My baby will be fine with my mum. She brought me up didn't she?
The customs in the USA will tell me to "have a good day"
I will enjoy myself on holiday

etc etc etc

Can you see that by telling this to yourself you will feell better I promise you.

Andy

[nok_tok]

edited

[nok_tok]

edited