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vernon
21-03-05, 19:04
Hi all, as you all know I am registered blind and have been for about five years. My left eye has always had a bit of good sight, but unfortunately there is a blockage making this eye completely useless. Three years ago they said they could do surgery and remove the blockage and if my retnor is ok I would be able to see a lot better even enough to do so much more than I can at the moment. They made me a surgery appointment; I went for a pree medical then on the day froze so bad heart beating like mad chest pains and realy couldn’t walk, I didn’t goL. Since then I have had two more dates and cancelled both of them, it makes me so depressed and anxious that I am so so unbelievably scared. More scared than I could possibly explain. I went for another Pre medical couple of weeks ago and have to go for the surgery this Thursday. Its not big surgery and I really shouldn’t be so scared (stupid phobias and anxiety I think). This time I went on meds Cipralex 12 weeks ago and though this might take away some of the phobia and enable me to go. I have also done loads of relaxation and affirmations. All this has made me feel much better and more positive. But its only Monday now and yesterday morning and this morning I woke shaking, lips trembling uncontrollable with the fear of the surgery this Thursday. I am not so afraid of the surgery but am more afraid of getting so high and panicky and dying of heart attack from the fear even before the surgery takes place. I really want this out of the way once and for all. If It works I will have a much better life and if it doesn’t I will just be the same as I am now, but will be relieved its been done. If I back out this time I know I will feel better that day but then my anxiety will just fly up again knowing it has to be done. Would love to hear any tips on how I can help myself, I really want to go but fear is so so strong. Can you be so frightened you give yourself heart attack? And as I say its 4 days to go and the fear on waking is so intense already. Thanks all. Vernon

Tracy68
21-03-05, 19:09
Hi Vernon
No wonder you're feeling like you do. Most of us get nervous/anxious/stressed over nothing, this is something important. Saying that though you have to keep thinking on the positive side of things, you've said yourself your life will be much better for having the surgery. I haven't really got any tips but just wanted to say i'm thinking of you and hope that it all goes well for you.
Take care
Tracy
x

FAN
21-03-05, 19:17
hi vernon im not sure of the surgery your having but i have had lots of eye surgery from being very small and things have really progressed so the op should really be fine.........why not get something off your doctor to relax you prior to the op as then you can at least go in calm and anyway they will sedate you anyway if your having a local anaesthetic rather than a general


i really not sure you can scare yourself into a heart attack at all as im sure most of us on here would have given ourselves one on lots of occassions........ just think how much better you will be when its all over and keep the positive thoughts going if you cancel again you might lose the chance of getting another appointment and that would be a shame as they say your sight is gonna be much better after it

fan x

"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!

vernon
21-03-05, 19:25
fan i have some lorazapam(atavan) and some vallium (diazapam) I got them in the past but dont take them but tried a larazapam this morning to see if it would work as i wake shaking but all it done was make me fall back to sleep it didnt calm me at all. thanks. Its only small surgery i cant understand the terific fear

nomorepanic
21-03-05, 19:27
Vern

You can do it mate and we all know you can.

Think how much better it maybe of the sight in the eye comes back - you would be so thrilled.

I would be terrified too but I think the op is needed and you wiill be so pleased once you do it.

Have you got some Diazepam to take over the next few days to calm you down?

Good luck mate and I want to hear that you went through with it ok.

xx

Nicola

vernon
21-03-05, 19:31
nic i have got diazapam y never used them for ages. I did try half a lorazapam this morning they supposed to be stronger but didnt work. thanks

carlin
21-03-05, 19:57
Hi Vernon, so sorry you are feeling so scared, i think we all know that feeling only too well. You can not frighten yourself into having a heart attack, i think, maybe, you and i would have had one or two by now, after all these years of panic, Thursday will not be easy, you can do it. I think that whenever an appointment comes up that we 'have' to keep panic doubles, all i have to do tommorow is take my daughter to view her college, sounds easy eh? most days i can't get out of the door. I too, have been waking so frightened, i have been crying solidly for the last 2 hours, all because of something that should be pleasurable, my point is, and i think i've lost the plot a little, that sometimes even the best of things can make us feel nervous, let alone an operation, you will be absoluately fine, and hopefully things will improve for you afterwards, keep in touch, sorry i have rambled on and on, as usual. Vernon, you have been a tower of strength to many of us, i look forward to hearing from you soon. xx

Karen
21-03-05, 23:24
Hi Vern

It is natural to feel anxious before having surgery and I'm sorry this is making you feel so terrified. Try to think of the possible benefits once it is done.

Best of luck for Thursday.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

lainey
21-03-05, 23:40
Hi Vern

Firstly, you cannot frighten yourself into a heart attack, secondly, when you arrive at the hospital on Thursday tell them how you are feeling and they will definetly put your mind at rest and calm you down.

You can do this mate, just think of last Saturday's Grand Slam and go, for it.

Here if you need to chat about it.

Take care

Elaine x

vernon
21-03-05, 23:56
thanks all so much

bubbles
22-03-05, 00:39
Vernon,

So sorry to hear how frightened you feel right now. No--you won't scare yourself into a heart attack---if we could we'd all be cluttering up cardiac units all over the country!

You wrote--" I'm not so afraid of the surgery---" & you won't have a heart attack, so----is one of the scary things that, although you won't be any worse if it fails, a better future hangs on the results? Whilst you put it off you still have the hope of a better future, if you go for it & it fails----the hope goes too?

Try to keep the positive thoughts going, Vernon. A lot of the overwhelming feelings are Mr Panic thinking he can bring you down on this one. Try to focus on how much better life will be after it's done.

It will work, Vernon---it's your turn for a break, long overdue!

Thinking of you, & "go for it" on Thursday.


Linda. x

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

sal
22-03-05, 00:55
Hi Vernon

I know we have talked before and you have postponed it but you can do it. It will be hard you know that but think about the benefits. If you panic mate it wont kill you and you know that. We are all behind you and want you to do this for yourself.

Hold on to how well you have done and how much support and love you have showed people in the chat room and we in return will be with you all the way on thursday.

Best of luck babe and you will be okay and lets hope this does work out for the best and your quality of life improves leaps and bounds. You deserve that.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

vernon
22-03-05, 00:56
thanks linda xx

vernon
22-03-05, 14:21
thanks sal babe XXX

Laurie28
23-03-05, 13:17
Hiya Vernon,

I think even 'normal' people getting scared (or at the least apprehensive) about surgery

Anticipatory anxiety is so often worse than the actual event

I just want to re-iterate what Nic said

YOU CAN DO THIS - AND YOU WILL

I know this is so difficult for you but pls pls go through with it this time

Apart from the benefit it will do for your sight it will also give you enormous satisfaction that you can face this

Post as soon as you can after the op

We are all rooting for you

Lucky

FAN
23-03-05, 13:59
hi vernon hope your ok will be thinking of you tomorrow ....good luck you can do it :D

fan x

"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!

carlin
23-03-05, 15:53
Hi Vernon,

Thinking of you for tomorrow - good luck jean xxx

nomorepanic
23-03-05, 20:37
GOOD LUCK vern

Hope it goes ok for you mate

Big hug
xxxx

Nicola

sueiamnew
23-03-05, 21:16
Good luck, it will work out OK i am SURE

sal
24-03-05, 00:05
Vern

We will all be thinking of you tomorrow, and we know as well as you this is going to be hard for you. But babes i know you will get through it.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

Karen
24-03-05, 01:08
Good luck for tomorrow Vern. Know this is going to be hard for you to do but think how relieved you will be that it is over and done with.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

bubbles
24-03-05, 01:53
Vernon,

The very best wishes for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.


Linda. x

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.