CMT4412
25-03-08, 19:21
Hi everyone, I appreciate any help you can give!!!! Let me preface my story by saying this is my new source of anxiety.
Its amazing how strong certain thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms, etc. can consume you. I've suffered on and off with anxiety for quite a long time. I will not get into all the details. Lets just say that my anxiety has shifted from HIV, MS, and many others.
I had been anxiety free for about 5 years. The occasional flare-up, but nothing I wasn't able to get through. I did the an anxiety program around 2002 and it helped quite a bit! Over the last 8 months or so, i've been struggling with many of the anxiety related feelings again.
It started with big-time job stress over a period of a few months, which resulted in the sudden onset of physical symptoms, such as numbess and tingling, tightness in head, pins and needles feelings throughout body, etc. Well, this continued and eventually I convinced myself I had MS. Saw Dr., said not likely, but fears/physical symptoms continued.
Well, more life stressors occurred, more anxiety occurred and more physical symptoms. I was able to live with the symptoms, though in the back of my mind I kept questioning and wondering "what if".
So, life continued and I was recently reading a book called "Falling" by Christopher Pike. Much of the plot in the book is about the repeated betrayal/cheating that the main character experiences from the love of his life. For the first 350 pages, I was good. All of the sudden though, it hit me HARD....like a 50lb weight. (I was almost through the book too...ahhh).
My thought: What if my wife does this to me??????? Let me backtrack by saying my wife and I dated for 2 years in college, I transferred schools, we continued dating for another couple of months, and then we split up (her choice) and went our seperate ways. She began dating someone else and it hurt. Things hadn't been the same with us since I had transfered. I finished school, went to Europe (traveling) and after about 2 years apart, we began talking again, started seeing eachother, etc, etc and now we're married and have been completely happy.
Our relationship has been great. We're expecting our 1st baby in a little over a month, we spend a ton of time together, and things are good. But all of the sudden, this scary, terrible thought. She hurt me before when we split up - that is the truth. She knew that, we've discussed in past, but, I never once thought she could/would do it again. Now, I can't get this out of my mind. What would I do? Could it happen? Is there someone else? ALL FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON. Except that I read about it in a darn Christopher Pike fiction book.
The bigger fact is that I am completely sensitiezed right now and have been for about 8 months!!! I know i'm going through a tough spell of anxiety and obsessive worry/thoughts.
My current life stressors: Expecting a baby, buying/closing on 1st house, starting new job & haven't told current employer
I know I have a TON going on right now. But, I need someone to PLEASE talk some sense into me.
Thanks for anyone who can read this and get back to me!!
CMT
Its amazing how strong certain thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms, etc. can consume you. I've suffered on and off with anxiety for quite a long time. I will not get into all the details. Lets just say that my anxiety has shifted from HIV, MS, and many others.
I had been anxiety free for about 5 years. The occasional flare-up, but nothing I wasn't able to get through. I did the an anxiety program around 2002 and it helped quite a bit! Over the last 8 months or so, i've been struggling with many of the anxiety related feelings again.
It started with big-time job stress over a period of a few months, which resulted in the sudden onset of physical symptoms, such as numbess and tingling, tightness in head, pins and needles feelings throughout body, etc. Well, this continued and eventually I convinced myself I had MS. Saw Dr., said not likely, but fears/physical symptoms continued.
Well, more life stressors occurred, more anxiety occurred and more physical symptoms. I was able to live with the symptoms, though in the back of my mind I kept questioning and wondering "what if".
So, life continued and I was recently reading a book called "Falling" by Christopher Pike. Much of the plot in the book is about the repeated betrayal/cheating that the main character experiences from the love of his life. For the first 350 pages, I was good. All of the sudden though, it hit me HARD....like a 50lb weight. (I was almost through the book too...ahhh).
My thought: What if my wife does this to me??????? Let me backtrack by saying my wife and I dated for 2 years in college, I transferred schools, we continued dating for another couple of months, and then we split up (her choice) and went our seperate ways. She began dating someone else and it hurt. Things hadn't been the same with us since I had transfered. I finished school, went to Europe (traveling) and after about 2 years apart, we began talking again, started seeing eachother, etc, etc and now we're married and have been completely happy.
Our relationship has been great. We're expecting our 1st baby in a little over a month, we spend a ton of time together, and things are good. But all of the sudden, this scary, terrible thought. She hurt me before when we split up - that is the truth. She knew that, we've discussed in past, but, I never once thought she could/would do it again. Now, I can't get this out of my mind. What would I do? Could it happen? Is there someone else? ALL FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON. Except that I read about it in a darn Christopher Pike fiction book.
The bigger fact is that I am completely sensitiezed right now and have been for about 8 months!!! I know i'm going through a tough spell of anxiety and obsessive worry/thoughts.
My current life stressors: Expecting a baby, buying/closing on 1st house, starting new job & haven't told current employer
I know I have a TON going on right now. But, I need someone to PLEASE talk some sense into me.
Thanks for anyone who can read this and get back to me!!
CMT