:D hi bobsy, ive replyed to your other post, but now i know a bit more about you i can see that we are both agoraphobic. although i have no physical problems complicating my life.
so you are recovering from agorqaphobia, but you sound like me to wan to be able to AVOID panic as much and as often as you can? this will probably not happen if you are to get FULLY better:weep: sorry for that, but unfortunately it is true:lac: every time you put yourself into a situation that you have avoided you will have potential to panic - but the best way to ge tbetter is to voluntarily panic:wacko: :mad: i know this is prob the worst thing we can be told because we dont want to feel like that, because obviously for us a panic for us means losing control in some way - but you can still expose yourself to it without it being soooo bad that you cant continue with your recovery. you can expose yourself for 45-90 mins every day - sometimes this will not be possible, but whenever you can expos eyourself you should, even short bursts are better than nothing - secondly you have to be prepared to feel the PANIC and not have a get out - this is my worst thing - i can now do loads of things that i couldnt in the past, even panic in those situations but to actually put myself in a position of no get out from panic is the hardest thing for me to do.
you will not go back, because you cant, it isnt possible - you will have already reprogrammed your brain to a certain extent that means at this point you cannot go back - and if you did relapse it wouldnt be right back to the beginning - because when you go back you recognise wha tis happening and you know you recovered so ther is no need to be so alarmed at a setback - also when youve had a good period, going into a slump can feel particularly bad, because youve know how it feels to feel better, so feeling low can be a bit of a shock - but this also is to be expected and levels out - you ge tused to feeling off and you ge tused to feeling better. but you will have to accept that you will feel anxious you cannot avoid it, becaus eyour brain thinks there is danger in the situation/places youve avoided - SO you go towards these things with high anxiety and you dont judge what is going to happen because then you may be running away for nothing - you can escape any time you feel really bad, but actually staying and going through that feeling is wha treally gets you to recover - this again is the hardest part because we have situations that could be potentially embarassing and could involve other ppl, but as you go along and recover you will be more open to trying more and more stressful things. but it is now about wha tyou say to yourself when you do exposure - in the past you didnt know you were doing exposure you were just feeling like poo every time you tried to do something that made your anxiety rise and to potentially have a panic attack, so you have to talk yourself through it now positively, you have to ignore the stupid voice that says something terrible is going to happen, and you have to find the voice that is rational and calm and sensible and knows that even if you do panic you will SURVIVE, it is exhausting but it is worth it:yesyes: you will feel sooooo good when you do somehting that previously you couldnt even if it is horrible, this time you will know you can handle it!!! - the worse thing to do is to do nothing - this is when you are most at risk of set backs and frustration/depression.
so you are on the road to recovery, and we are all here to help and encourage you to get there, so take care:hugs: emma:flowers:
Hi Bobsy :D :hugs:
The hard thing with recovery, is the fear of going backwards, but hun, you CAN'T go back, theres nooo going back now, you know to much. You have not had a pa in a long time, this shows how far you have come. You have programmed your mind that you CAN, stop panic, even though you still have safe zone's, hun, having safe zone's, is ok, just for now, this is all part of recovery.
What I did, was to pull panic apart, panic comes with a few symptoms, each person is different. Of course the main one is fear, mmm, but what of, mine was fear of loosing my mind, this fear of loosing my mind was soo bad, it overided any other symptoms I had, oh and fear of fear, I hated feeling soooo scared, but then again, just what was it I was scared of? I had alot of other symptoms in full blown panic, feeling unable to breath, tight chest, pain in chest, trembling, unable to focus and a few others.
I picked panic apart, read on here all about the different symptoms, these symptoms, on there own are anxiety levels, but put them all together, mm yes my 10 (panic) by me doing this, reading on each symptoms and separating my 10, understanding that each symptoms, cannot harm me, helped me move on a little and knowing and understanding that anxiety dose not always lead to panic.
Bobsy, the mind is a powerfull thing, it stores things, good things and bad, so when we feel anxiety riseing, it remembers are truma, (PANIC) and are response can be sooo quick, we think, ohh no, I am going to panic, this in turn gets are anxiety levels going higher, after all, who likes to be scared. It is ok at this point in your recovery to have anxiety, this is normal.
**Im always waiting for "IT" (Panic) to happen and when it does not i remind myself that ive not had a panic or being anxious and then i start to feel it.**
Hun, I know its dame hard for you, you see IT, as panic, you say you always feel IT, but you DON'T. what you are feeling are levels of anxiety. IT, (panic) is not there, you have to be kind to yourself at moments like this, eccept the anxiety, use positive self talk eg, "yes, I am a recovering agoraphobic, I am fine, it will pass"
To know and understand that set backs ARE NOT set backs, there just a step sideways, when we try to come out of are safe Zones, its ok to feel somethings, to have higher than normal levels of anxiety.
You say you go over in your head the routs you are going to take, hun, you will find that people who don't suffer anxiety do this all the time, but without thinking, if you know what I mean. You say you wish to go out by yourself, its ok to plan what your going to be doing, but using positive thoughts, eg. I will pop down the shop for a paper or a mag, think what mag you would like to get on the way.
As it as allready been said, small steps are better, the more small steps you do, the more the mind gets progammed to deal with things and it shows Mrs anxiety that your not going to let her stop you.
Make yourself some small goals, you have come sooo far and you are doing great, please, focus more on what you can do, try not to put to much importance and what you can't do right now.
I know its dame hard changing the way we think of panic, we fear it. You have heard it many times on here, feel the fear but do it anyway. I remember feeling that fear, at this time, I had had enough, I felt the fear but gave up fighting it and thought to myself "go on then do your worse, I'm ready, I'm NOT, going out of the shop" I did stay in the shop, but felt like, crap, but when I came home. I thought about it. YES I did panic, but, the peak of panic did not last long, the anxiety levels lasted a little longer, but me, noticing that my thoughts of, "go on then, do your worse, I'm ready" cos I did mean it at that time, this helped bring the panic to a stop.
I feel, that for me, I felt like I was not in control, but ohh boy, was I wrong, I am in control, its Mrs anxiety telling me I'm not. Its teaching yourself NOT to listen to her negative thoughts. Part of recovery are the what if's, to look at your what if's and put more positive things in place.
Hun, YOU ARE in control, even putting short tearm coping skills in, (Safe Zone's) this is being in control, but you know you have to get rid of these safe Zones and you beat yourself up about it, hun, this maybe feeding your anxiety, don't do this to yourself, PLEASE, use positive self thought, tell yourself this is ok FOR NOW, JUST FOR NOW, but your going to put small goals in. I cannot say enough how important it is to see the more positive side of your recovery, this is a must. Anxiety will feed on many, many, things, we are all different, you not only have to learn about panic, anxiety, but its A MUST to learn about yourself too. know just how many negative thoughts you have throughout the day, learn to change the negatives and look to more positive things in life, but I know how hard this can be when Mrs anxiety is present.
I know I asked myself, what is my last thoughts befor I go to sleep and what are my first thoughts when I woke up, this was when I was acute and ohhh boy, they where soooo negative. So my first goal was, trying dame hard when I went to bed, to think of more positive things in life, more happier things, this was sooo hard to do because my life was wrapped around panic and high anxiety at the time, but I did this EVERY night, for a long time and ohh boy, was it hard. I know this may sound like a little thing, changing are thought pattens before we sleep, but I do feel that this helped me move on a little. Little changes do help but Mrs anxiety says not, don't listen to her.
So, tell yourself that now, you DO NOT suffer panic,YOU HAVE NOT has PA in a long time, your recovering anxiety mm, I know, your thinking your problem is that you fear panic, mm, this is Mrs anxiety talking trying to scare you. Changing the way we talk about panic, helps us move on a little to, ohh boy, I do find it hard to explain things. Your mind, is YOURS, its yours to play with, Mrs anxiety plays the negative game, YOU play the positive one. YOU will win in the end. By doing this( I do not suffer panic, I am recovering anxiety) YOU are programming your mind, that YOU ARE recovering, mm does this make sense LOL :unsure:
So, bobsy, what are your small goals, something, YOU KNOW you can do, because YOU CAN bobsy, you have to believe in yourself. What you want to do you have done many, many, times in the past, before PA, SO, YOU KNOW, its possible.
I know you have come sooooo far and you are doing sooooo WELL :yesyes: but YOU NEED to show youself your progress, YOU need to see how far you have come, be pround of yourself because IT IS hard work, and YOU DID IT:yahoo:
I do hope this has helped a little.
Thinking of you always :bighug1:
LOVE JILLXXX
Well i walked to work all alone. i have not walked this way on my own for nearly 8/9 years.
I was so pleased with myself but then i was disappointed cos i could not face the walk home as i felt so stressed out. i rang my other half up to ask him to give me a lift home after work and cos of this i beat myself up instead of being pleased of what i had achieved. I find that i always seem to concentrate of more of what i cant do that what i can.
Ive done so many new challenges lately that i now have the problem of not being able to take a deep breath or it seems like i cant breath and i have to remind myself all the time to breath. I have found that when i do new challenging things i get these symptoms and as i dont like them it puts me off even doing the things i was finding relatively easy. I feel like its one step forward and two steps back. When i feel like this i can feel the avoidance wanting to start.
Here is an extract from one of claire weekes books
"The last hurdle"
"I cant overcome the last hurdle of going out alone. From being unable to go to the end of my drive, i can now take a job in town if im driven there. However, anxiety symptoms still come at frequent and unpredictable Moments"
Of course they do. They will contiue to come until he overcomes not only the last hurdle, but the first. Both hurdles are the same. Both come back to his learning how to cope with himself. Too many people say "I can now do this and that, but I cant do such and such." They mean that they still cant cope with themselves when they panic or have other nervous sensations. They have learned how to cope with certain situations but this is going only part of the way towards cure.
Actually, the day that man first ventured outside his drive alone and panicked, he faced his first, and at the same time, last hurdle. That first panic held as great a challenge as he would every meet again. In future situation there may be slight variation, but little wil hold more challenge than that first panic outside his front gate. Whether he calls it first or last hurdle, it is still coping with himself, inside his drive, outside his drive or in the town centre. Recognising this and not trying to compromise by coping with one situation after another is a big step towards cure and means truly understanding agoraphobia.
This man has improved by depending on certain props and im not detracting from his success, but he has not yet gone through that last 1% of 100% acceptance, and until he does, anxiety symptoms will continue to come "at frequent and unexpected moments" although they are not as unexpected as he thinks. He has prepared the way for them by accepting only 99%. 100% is the first and last hurdle.
I think this is so me.
I was wondering what peoples understanding and readings are on this extract.
I think at the moment i deal with situations and not myself. I dont give myself any credit or praise of what i can do and have not accepted anxiety 100%. I also am not confident about myself.
For years i have not got the missing link so to say and now I think my link is accepting 100% and not just the 99% that i am doing. I think that im accepting 99% cos i suppose if im honest im scared of having the panics.
I feel like ive not faced fear/anxiety at its worst and dealt with it.
I would like to hear what other people think
cheers
bobsy x
:yesyes: :hugs: bobsy - it goes like this because you are upping the stakes!!!!! you do wha tyou gotta do with this crappy breathing - you know in spite of it, becaus eyou know its nothing, just out of whack breathing - uper chest breathing.- so when you get home you just start to focus back on getting that breathing back in line - takin the breath deep into your tummy and make sure you exhale for longer than you inhale - i am doing it now as i type and i feel calm and i have no palps or symptoms of anx. however later i will go to swim meet with my daughter and husband and as i am premenstrual i may get a bit het up - i may feel i cant come home, i may feel over stressed by the noise the amount of people, my tummy ache and the heat in the place - its like a bloody sauna! but if i focus on that breathing nothing will ge tout of hand - although even if i hyperventilate and feel panicky it will pass and i will feel able to stay. but you can do this breathing all the time, and if you continue all the time to make it like somehting you can jsut switch on and off you eventually get good control of it, so you can even use it in those situations you are talking about:yesyes: but give yourself a break lady, like i said you are doing exposure and you are meant to feel worse before you feel better - thats how you know your facing your fears and doing it anyway:winks: take care, emma:yesyes:
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