sudden death

[Panic1971]

I havent posted on here for a while now - not that I have been feeling any better because I havent - but have been checking in every day or so.

The main problem I have at the minute is the fear of sudden death or dying.

It is just completely taking over my thoughts, and I am having difficulty controlling my anxiety.

Every symptom I get or have I think 'death' or I have some life threatening illness which will result in death. I just dont know what to do anymore.

My body is aching from all the 24/7 tension that I have, and I find it difficult to relax.

I am now worrying about the stress I am putting my body under by all the tension and anxiety that I carry. They say stress is the silent killer.

There have been loads of stories recently about people suddenly dying (all different ages too). There was a 5 year old on the news recently who died in the school playground at playtime and my mum was telling me today of a friend of a relative that died of a heart attack aged only 25.

Any advice or tips on how to overcome this???

[seeker]

Try not to think about it! Honestly, I sometimes worry about this, too, but the chances are absolutely miniscule. It may seem harsh, but sometimes when I hear about things like that, I think 'They were the statistic, not me'. Usually there is a genetic element to these sorts of deaths - the 'sudden death' syndrome is (I belive) caused by a faulty heart muscle, and often families will say lots of relatives died at an early age.

I also think 'If I did keel over and die, would I rather have spent my last day worriyng about it or doing something fun?', so I try and do something fun and/or useful each day.

[seeker]

Also, I know what you mean about the stress and worry, but I have also read some statistics that say stress and worry can be good for you - your body copes to adapt with all sorts of things. If it is really taking over your thoughts, you need to see the doc pronto, as it can be a symptom of depression - certainly when I had this really badly, I was suffering clinical depression and it got better with time and anti depressants.

[bottleblond]

Hi Ann

It's very hard for someone who sufferes from Health Anxiety not to take these stories to heart and worry about them. But you have to think logicaly here hun, the chances are probably zero of this ever happening to you.

I'm 36 now and over the past 20 years or more, my mind has told me i have had.....

lung cancer
a brain tumour
a collapst lung
an ulcer
throat cancer
mouth cancer
tongue cancer
organ failure
blah blah blah blah....i have never had any of there to date and all that time worrying about it was just a pure waste!

try to put it to the back of your mind and bring on the positive thinking!!


take care

Love Lisa
xxxx

[Liverbird67]

Hiya
That is exactly the same thing I worry about, honestly its no fun at all, I think that this is a symptom of depression, I would go to see the Dr, sometimes anti-depressants help, I was like you approx 6 weeks ago, absolutely awful these thoughts filled my every waking moment, in bed, in bath, cooking the meals, scared to go out, I started taking an anti-depressant, first week hell things got worse, but my sleep was beginning to improve, five weeks on, I can go around the shops, go into the city and things are looking up, hopefully will be able to return to work in the next couple of weeks, don't give up hope, I know it is scary but try not to dwell on things, I know that this is easier said than done, but your mind gets stuck like a record and the same thoughts whirl around your head its called ruminating,l honestly try to distract yourself, try and read (not them womens mags were people die and get sick!) try and watch something on the telly even if its crap, sometimes this is better if not too serious, ask GP for a blood test in case you are run down, (lots of things would show up on this) take vitamins please believe me it will pass eventually.

Never give up hope

Take care of yourself
Love
Liverbird
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[AtmoLav]

This might be taken the wrong way so sorry in advance if it offends. I've been here many, many times. When I was young, I used to worry that there would be a fire over night and I'd die. I've always been like that. Death here there and everywhere. And a constant fear.

But do you know what?

IF i died tomorrow, I wouldn't even know about it. I'd be gone. It might hurt for a bit, but it'd be over. And the other things I sometimes worry about - how others would cope - well, they wouldn't be my problem any more. Because I wouldn't know. I no longer fear death because when that happens it's over. I don't want to die, heck - survival is programmed into every cell in my body. But if I died suddenly, it'd be sudden and it wouldn't be my fault and it wouldn't be my problem any more.

You see, what I'm scared of is a slow, progressive disease that ultimately ends in death. That I wouldn't be able to deal with.

I think worrying about death ultimately stems from worrying about other people and the effect you have on them. How my fiancee would cope if I died has crossed my mind on several occassions, but that's not something I can control.

Instead, I'm finally starting to accept that my life is primarily about me. I've had enough of this anxiety, it all stems from worrying about how others feel in my case, it all stems from trying to make other people happy. Well, no more. If it happens, it happens right?

Don't know if this helps....sorry if it didn't :o(

[Franz]

My body is aching from all the 24/7 tension that I have, and I find it difficult to relax.

I am now worrying about the stress I am putting my body under by all the tension and anxiety that I carry. They say stress is the silent killer.

There have been loads of stories recently about people suddenly dying (all different ages too). There was a 5 year old on the news recently who died in the school playground at playtime and my mum was telling me today of a friend of a relative that died of a heart attack aged only 25.

Any advice or tips on how to overcome this???
Ann,

Firstly, these stories you hear are very rare cases - in most cases of people dying so young like this, there are basic genetic problems that lead to it. The chances of it happening to you are almost certainly miniscule.

Secondly, the funny thing with being convinced you're going to die is that you FEEL it so strongly, almost like an intuition. I've had this experience myself. I had a nervous breakdown last November and caught the train up to my parents'. It was a very difficult journey and throughout it I had this utter conviction that I was going to their house to die. It really was a "gut feeling", or so I thought.

Thirdly, as for the stress you're putting your body under by worrying: well your body can handle a LOT of stress before it packs up! Of course chronic stress can lead to health problems, and sometimes I find it helps just to accept the stress - take the attitude, "I'm stuck with this stress, it won't be doing me much good, but all I can do is keep plugging away at improving things." I get by by taking each week at a time, and not projecting my fear too far into the future if I can help it. I've got enough to deal with in the present!

Best wishes,

Francis

[lesleya]

Hi Hun

I know exactly what you mean and what it feels like to worry like that. Ive worried and had panic/anxiety since i was 16. I had 15 years of doing what your doing, and you know what.....what a total waste of time it was too.
I cant ever get those years back now, wish i could, but they are gone never to return, and i cant tell you how much i regret loosing all those years through worrying im going to drop dead suddenly, or develop a wasting painfull illness, or loose my marbles, and how will my son or my husband ever cope without me or my grandchildren will never know me, will they just forget about me, will hubby re-marry etc etc etc the list is endless.
But, i got to a point where i thought either i carry on living from day to day in constant fear, or, i start to live. Thank goodness I chose the latter, because i had a young son, I was a single parent, and he didnt deserve a mum like me that couldnt take him out or do the things that 'normal' mums and sons do, so i had to change the way i thought.
I am not meaning to sound hard or unsympathetic, because i really do sympathise, but i just really hate to see somone so young with everything to look forward too wasting years worrying over the inevitable. If we die..we die and we cant do a blessed thing to stop it...so why worry about 'if' and 'when' it will happen. Id rather die today and know ive at least enjoyed my last years or days. We only get one go around the merry-go-round so get out there and enjoy it.
Im still here 34 years on??? and hopefully will be in another 34.
:yahoo:

[Lissy43]

It really is not something you should worry about, its not worth it. Any one of us could fall down the stairs, get run over by a bus etc.... tomorrow morning but we don't go to bed at night worrying about it.

It is VERY rare, if its going to happen it will but honestly the chances are it won't so don't panic.

I worry about my health if I feel ill, I assume the worst but I would not panic over sudden death or anything but yes when you hear stories it does make you worry more than usual but say to yourself its rare and live your life. You only get one shot at life so its not worth worrying about dying all of the time like you are doing but I have been where you are and its not nice at all.

Pm me if you need support.

[nomorepanic]

What will be will be

We cannot change destiny!

We can look after ourselves and do out best but if we drop dead then we have no control over it so no point wasting time worrying about it to be honest.

We won't even know about it!

Life is for living not for waiting to die!

[Richie]

Hi panic,
i don't suffer with any health anxiety but it must be upsetting to go through these thoughts which are very real to you . Like the others have said the chances are very slim, and it's pretty rare. But guess that won't stop you worrying, i know people have said don't "google" it. But at times its beneficial to get the facts straight.
Like someone with a fear of flying, they go on a course at an airport and learn all about the statistics and the odds of having a crash , engine failure etc. Afterwards most have lost their fear, or it's greatly reduced.
Sometimes therapists ask you to test your theories out so you lose the fear.
So (maybe )you should equip yourself with all the facts so you are no longer frightened??
Personally i'm the other way around and have an absolute dread of close family or friends dying or my dog, it's awfully depressing and i swear that i will be the first to go. So can understand a bit of what you are going through.
Hope all the other advice will help you
Luv Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[nicotine]

I am exactely the same! Especially with the worrying about 'sudden' death.

I think we need to learn to accept it, in a way. Sudden death is so incredibly rare, and in virtually every case there is family history of a bizarre sudden death at a young age. And even then, its doesn't mean you will. In other cases, its just a case of an already underlying heart complaint just being agrivated by surgery or drugs (legal and illegal). But doctors can spot the signs, just by listening to your heart, or by an ECG. If you pass these tests you definately have nothing to worry about.

My biggest trouble was telling myself I had a rare heart complaint that would strike me down. For a long time I thought completely irrationally and realised after a while. ive never actually tried to talk myself out of this craziness! No matter how many times I had the doctor check my heart. You can get so confused sometimes and away in an unreal fantasy land of confusion, your heading yourself away from the actual 'truth' and making yourself feel unwell with stress.

Just look into reality. Reality is more limited then your over-active imagination causing anxiety. Look at everyone walking around, millions of people like you with healthy hearts. Acceptions are rare. It isn't you. You arn't the one. Just remember that. Anxiety is a complex and clever tool. Its no secret it can make you feel so bad and affraid like you are having a heart attack. This happens to thousands of people. Me you and the people in this forum. We are the same, healthy people who are confused trying to get there thoughts straight and find truth.

I hope you find a way to soothe your anxiety soon!

[Panic1971]

Thanks everyone for your replies - I really do appreciate it.:hugs:

I know I have to stop dwelling on the 'what ifs', but I find it so hard. Not an hour goes by that I dont think about death/dying. Just wish I knew how to switch off these morbid thoughts.

I try to live my life - but it is so hard with panic disorder and anxiety. I just dont enjoy the things I used to do. It is crazy that thoughts stop me doing the things I used to really enjoy. I used to hate staying in, now I dread going out and having fun - just in case I have a panic attack or feel anxious. I also feel guilty for my kids and husband, as it also restricts them too.

I dont know what I would do without this site.

Sorry for rambling - just finding this whole thing so life destroying.

[Richie]

Sorry Ann sounds like you have a alot of problems, thought because of your initial post you had "Health anxiety" but of course stress can work its way into your life in many forms, and then you find yourself having multiple phobia's. One fear can sometimes trigger another one off !!!
It's all very complex isn't it, the mind is very complex isn't it
Having morbid thoughts though is a common thread amongst most folk on this site, especially if u suffer with severe depression. So you are not alone or crazy or anything like that.
will be thinking of you luv Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[sheba2]

Hi Ann

You and me both. Fear of death fear of dying fear of leaving people behind fear of missing out on what is to come fear of not having achieved all those things we all want to. I've been like this since I was a child. I was always playing catch up. Please god let me know what its like to have a boyfriend. get married have children, see children grow up, have grand children, do something with my life. And all the time I've spent worrying I haven't really enjoyed the things that have happened and I certainly haven't enjoyed life. So like someone else said I have wasted so many years on this worry.

I'm now 52 and I'm really cross with myself for living like this and I try desperately to change these thought processes. I'm trying to understand why I think like this. I was brought up to think that the world is a scarey dangerous place. I also have this fear of God and the after life (catholic upbringing)

Two things happened in recent years which haven't completely cured me but have helped a lot. One was having to have a general anaesthetic after a miscarriage. I was absolutely petrified. I can vividly remember going under and then waking up and the thought came to me that in between there was nothing. No pain no thinking no worry and no panic just nothing. So I figuered if I die and there is no after life then you just aren't going to know anything about it. The second thing that happened is that I watched my father die. Now that sounds really morbid but he was in his late 80's and he had cancer. He was in no pain and didn't have any pain relief. He just got weaker and weaker over a period of about 10 days. He slept a lot and gradually slipped away. He was kept comfortable and there was no agitation it was very peaceful he just seemed to accept it and let it happen. I can remember sitting with him every day and thinking this isn't so bad and I was so grateful for that experience and very glad when it was over in the hope that he was now in a better place.

Like I said this hasn't completely got rid of that fear of not being here for my children especially my 6 year old but I am much more determined to get over this and enjoy all the time I have as best as possible. At first I used to tell myself that I am going to enjoy the thing I do for the next 10 mins even if it was the washing up. I would take real pride in doing this well. Then I built on this and now I consciously say I am going to enjoy this whatever it is. I don't let myself think those scarey thoughts until after I have enjoyed something. And now I rarely think about dying and death. I hope this helps even if it just helps to know that you are not alone with your fears.