Passenger travelling by car...HELP!!!

[dianes]

Hi everyone :D I have always been an anxious passenger travelling by car. 23 yrs ago my hubby, two kids and I travelled over from Germany by car (he was in the Army) we arrived here on the friday and after a couple of hours kip he decided to make the drive from London to Wigan that night. The rain was lashing down and we were in the outside lane overtaking a lorry when the panic hit. I am ashamed to admit...I tried to open my door to get out...Madness I know, the kids screamed in the back while my hubby lent over to keep me in my seat. When we stopped at the services, my hubby went ballistic!! I still suffer with nightmares about what could've happend to all of us that night.

I gave up travelling on motorways and dual-carriageways a couple of years ago after another bad journey on the motorway where we were stuck in traffic and I battled again not to get out of the car. Since I have been suffering with anxiety/panic/claustrophobia for the past 3 years I now find I am having trouble on normal roads :ohmy: I have stopped grabbing the door handle when we go out. But find it hell stopping at traffic lights, crossings, roundabouts etc. etc. I find I am literally terrifed looking down a long road, overtaking or stopping, I get an overwhelming urge to just get out of the car. I am terrified if I do get out I won't be able to get back in again to either reach the end of my journey or even worse, get back home!! I have support worker who calls out to see me once a month and I have told her how terrified I am of jumping out of a moving car and causing an accident if I can't control my panic but she just smiles and tells me to concentrate on how far I have come as I couldn't even go outside my front door over a year ago!!:weep: This really doesn't help with my problem at all. I don't want to take any medication as I was addicted to diazepam and it took me 2 years to get off it. Can anyone suggest anything?? I need to be able to travel in the car so I can visit my daughter, grandkids, shopping, etc. etc.

PLEASE, PLEASE, HELP ME.

Diane

'Your imagination is always much worse than the reality'

[domino]

Oh diane, i can relate to this ,although it was sometime ago now . We were going on holiday to devon with my girls when i had this over whelming urge to get out of the car. I did,nt get as far as opening the door , the thought was there though. I now only travel in the back of the car, still hate it and avoid motorways like the plague. Last time i went on a motorway was to be picked up from the n.e.c. 3 wks ago.When we pulled up on my drive i got out and gave a sigh of relief. I try to take things that distract me , like portable d v d player and watch a film, puzzle books my nintendo ds , or even just glance out of the window and write down the things i see. I use to take diazapam but not any more, i practise my breathing too, sorry to hear that you are like this but it will get easier, and if you need any of us we are here for you. xx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Diane

I can so relate to this also, i used to have to sit in the back of the car all the time when on journeys as i would panic. I am fine on small journeys now but if i have to travel a long way i always sit in the back, i know i shouldnt because its really a safety behaviour which as now become a habit for me.

Domino as given you some excellent ideas to distract yourself while travelling. I always take my MP3 player with me while on long journeys and listen to some music, when im feeling panicky i also look out of the window and count how many "red" cars we pass. I still have the odd panic episode when im out in the car but nothing as bad as i used to. distraction is definenalty the way forward to build up our confidence.

Good luck

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxx

[Richie]

Yep like Honeybee i also sit in the back of the car where i feel safest
I use my dog as an excuse because he keeps turning around and i'm afraid he will fall over and break one of his skinny legs (this is true actually but means i can kid myself about being in the back !!
But then thats difficult if you have small children as they will need to sit there.
Like others have said as well distraction is a good way of coping.
always take a really absorbing book with me or magazine.
I used to sometimes pretend i was asleep but i don't do that any more.
sorry can't give any original advice luv Richie x x x

[dianes]

:D Thanks guys for your advice. I can't believe I typed claustrophobia when I meant agoraphobia!!lol but I was panicking just thinking about getting into a car!!:ohmy:

I will try sitting in the back, I don't know how I will be sitting there on my own, but it is worth trying. I have only managed to sit in the back with my hubby when our son had driven me to the hospital (he puts the childlocks on to stop me trying to get out!!) I will also try some of the distraction techniques that have been suggested. I must admit I am my own worse enemy as I seem to be fixed looking out of the front window watching for any eventuality.

When all this started 3 years ago I had a crash team called out to the house.
I had been ill for a while and then had a really bad panic attack when I went to go out in the car, then the agoraphobia kicked in, but the physciatrist just said to my hubby...'don't buy her any ciggies from the little shop near you (it is four houses away from where we live) she will then have to go out!' That didn't work, she also told him just to put me in the car and drive to Potters Bar to see her (as if I was a child of three! instead of a woman of 54!) that didn't work either. After finding this site and reading some of the posts I phoned her and asked about CBT therapy but she said 'One, you can't get to the hospital, two, if you could get there you wouldn't need it anyway!'

So I am more than grateful to have everyone on this site, you are all life savers and very brave.

Thank you once again. :yesyes:

Diane

'Your imagination is always much worse than the reality'

[sagey]

Hello Dianes, you have my sympathy, it's a horrid thing. It occured to me that a driving simulator game could be of use here. You being in control and being able to take as much time as you need to pause and examine your reactions and feelings might be helpful. Getting to the root of what exactly is the scariest element of driving/being driven and having time to think it through and get advice and support to make progress.