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Hi I'm Steve, its nice to find this little retreat - I've been lurking for a while, trying to get my wife Liz to say hello. So far she hasn't been brave enough, so I thought I'd say Hi instead :D
Liz has been suffering severe anxiety and panic attacks since June
this year, so much so that 'anything and everything' will trigger
them, leaving her avoiding any situation where they've been
triggered in the past. She's become agoraphobic, frightening to
answer the phone, frightened of going to bed,.. frightened of life - All in all a very scared lady. We've been tought
relaxation and breathing techniques - and although I've got them
sussed (!), Liz is finding it very difficult to relax and stay calm,
and the panic attacks will sometimes last for days on end - very
much the symptoms of a heart attack, along with nausea, 'burning
skin', and severe shakes. I've been off work since August to try to
help her, and also to do all the day-to-day chores shes unable to do
at the moment.
Liz sees a CPN, monthly now - usually more often, as she feels she
needs more support than the monthly home visits. She's due for her
first appointment with a councilor this week - A lady called Maggie from the B'ham Counceling Centre. Hopefully that will
be the start of her recovery.
She also started on a course of Sertraline this Friday - so far
she's had two 50mg tablets. She had bad side effects after trying
out Xeroxat a while ago, and is very frightened of the new
medication, so much so that shes had phantom side effects caused by
panicking, starting just 5 minutes after putting the first tablet in
her mouth.
We feel like we are just existing at the moment, waiting to live
again, every day seems as difficult as the last. I'm scared for
her... I want my lovely wife back, and our two children want their
mummy back.
Thanks for listening, and I hope Liz will be able to sit at the
computer soon and say hello to you all.
Love 'n hugs
Ste
nomorepanic
16-11-03, 00:15
Hi Steve
It is always lovely to see a caring partner come here to voice their concerns for a loved on - u must be a very special person.
It is hard to know where to start but I just wanted to welcome u and then I will do a fuller reply tomorrow as it is late now!
You will find so much help on here for her and maybe we can get her back on form asap
Nicola
Welcome Liz and Steve ..
If you've been lurking I guess you will have read some of the posts around already. There is a lot of information around.
If you've anything to ask or comment on please do... Seems like Liz is having lots of support - enormous amounts from you and some from CPN, and counsellor soon too.
Couple of points.. picking up on what you said . I hope you don't mind me being direct ..
Full Panic attacks cannot last more than 2 hours. Your body runs out of the chemicals . She can have lots of other feelings and emotions afterwards that may seem like an extension but if she grades it from start to a day later from 1-10, and is honest you will see a variation to a crescendo and then drop from panic to exhaustion , weepy and sad to possible anger and bitter disappointment.These can last days.
What is she doing with her time at present ?
I completely understand about the existing bit. I think most of us have been there at some stage.
Please do keep in touch and if anything is bothering you , just post and you'll get lots of peoples experiences .
This is such a hard time for you too and the children . How are you all coping ?
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi Steve and Liz
Just a few positive things for you to think on.
I started off like you say your wife is, i was scared of everything and anything and would panic at nothing ( the phone ringing would send me into floods of tears and i would hide under the bedclothes). It just so happened that my husband was taking a work break when I got ill so he was there for me 24/7. He eventually went and started a new career this January and the first day he left me I was beside myself with panic. I got a lot worse but in the end I had to do things for myself as he wasnt around.(with help from medication and councelling). Ive got a lot better and am no longer agoraphobic although the feelings are still there.(im not telling you to go to work and leave your wife by the way - just giving you my experience).
Also with the panic 5 mins after taking my medication i used to get panic. Still do a bit after all these months (i think ive just learned to panic now), so as soon as ive taken one i go have a nice bath or lose myself in a good book to take my mind off it for an hour or two.
I really hope it gets better for you soon Liz. And hope it goes well with the councelling. I wish my husband was as understanding as yours!
Love Sarah
xxx
Thankyou for your replies, and for being there - it seems like I've finally glimpsed the top of the well and touched some reality here.
Hello, my name is Liz and I also would like to thank you for all your replies.
At the moment I am on the verge of screaming and crying "please dear god No more". I feel unsettled, un-nerved, shaking, feeling sick, light headed and getting ready to run and cry. My heart is pounding and it feels like I am going to die. I just want it to stop. Please dear god won't someone or something make it stop. I've been like this for 72+ hours. I just want a rest.
Hey Liz,
Good to have you here ...
I've been where you are today..... It goes but it does take time , patience nad perseverence.
If you feel like running - then do- get some exercise - it will help enormously.
Here is a very brief run down on what you can do to help yourself .
There are several things that you can do to help yourself with these although they are not ‘cures’ in the traditional way as taking an antibiotic and the infection goes away completely.
Medication can help to give you a break from the worst part of panic but unless something else changes within you - when you come off the medication the issues remain and often the panic reoccurs.
Other avenues that do help include:
Breathing - Learn to breathe from your diaphragm, your tummy should rise and fall with your breath as well as your chest. Ensure your out breath is longer than the in one. A count of 4 in – 6 out is great. Use this as soon as you feel panic rising. Alternatively, hold your breath for a few seconds . I found this better for me..
Distraction- As soon as you feel the anxiety soaring and you get afraid – do something different. Change your environment, talk to someone, do something, distract yourself. It’s often enough to dissipate the panic .
Comfort yourself – be totally positive with yourself but do allow yourself to go with it. Keep giving yourself positive messages that this will pass naturally and cannot harm you- breath and distract.
Regular exercise – uses the adrenaline/ noradrenaline and the cortisol that are secreted when panic sets in and enhances endorphine production
Tai’ chi or Yoga – promotes complete relaxation as well as stretching. This has a cumulative effect so try it regularly. The meditation part also helps learn to still the mind and cumulatively is a very effective exercise to learn to use during panic.
Relaxation tapes are extremely useful . Find one you like and stick to it. Play it every day whether you are stressed or not and soon whenever you feel anxious just putting it on will relieve that tension .
Massage- releases the tension that builds up in your tissues. Often with anxiety we store it in major muscle groups apart from the usual chronic shoulders and neck so leg muscles etc can go into spasm. Reaction from the guts is also common, you may find you get wild disturbances.
When you are starting to feel anxious - Bach rescue remedy will take the edge off.. These are flower essences, are completely safe and have no sideeffects. A couple of squirts in a bottle of water and sip liberally all day. Additionally, I used Aspen for fear, Cherry plum for terror and Rock rose for control.
Nutritional supplements – having panic and anxiety is extremely draining on your body resources. A strong 50-100 mg Vit B complex supplement is highly recommended as is extra calcium and magnesium , take this one at night . www.quest.co.uk is a reputable source.
Unless you’re intolerant , warm milk at night contains tryptosan which promotes sleep and relaxation.
Aromatherapy- lavender, clary sage, vetiver oil baths.
If you are really shaky passiflora /lemon balm/ valerian root/ hops tinctures for instant help or tablets regularly.
St Johns Wort can also help but doesn’t kick in for 3 weeks or so
Kava Kava is brilliant for anxiety but is currently withdrawn from the EU whilst investigations go on into possible liver sideeffects complicated by anxiety people often taking to alcohol for relief…
For constant insomnia melatonin is excellent. It’s not available in the UK but widely available in the US where its main use is for jetlag
With all of the herbs above if you are on any other medications at all then you must check it out carefully and ask for professional advice. SJW is a definite No if you’re on the pill, immunosuppressants or anti coagulants.
If you find anxiety is worse in the morning try eating little but often and keep to protein and complex carbohydrates- nuts/seeds are a great choice, it’s recommended to have a breakfast – (not s
Hiya Steve and Liz!!!
Good to have you both here. Liz you are very blessed to have a partner that totally supports you in this. Mine is not so supportive, so at times I do feel very much alone in my fight to overcome this. We here have all been where you are right now. I know it seems that this all will not come to an end till we "DIE", as that`s what it feels is going on, just a slow agonizing way of dying. You will overcome this with support and helping yourself. It sounds like you have plenty of support, so now on to doing something to help yourself. Do not avoid anything or any place because that is giving the control to the anxiety/panic. You need to keep the control, like Meg mentioned there are so many things you can do, print out or jot down the suggestions she posted and try them all to find out what works for you. Then incorporate what works for you into your daily routine. It will get better, keep coming back to let us know how you all are getting along. Steve so good to hear a partner be so supportive for a change. You all keep ya chin up!!!! It will get better, just take everyday one day at a time. That`s the best we can do.
Cheers!!!!
Diana xxx ooo :D
nomorepanic
16-11-03, 18:22
Hi Liz
Good to see you here. We have all been there trust me - it feels lie you will never get better but you will slowly in time.
Meg has some great advice so print it out and sit down with it.
There is also a lot of info on the site - try the "Coping" page to start with.
Get yourself off to the docs and see if he can give you some medication for temporary relief.
Please let us know how you go.
Nicola
Thanks a million everyone, for writing.
I sound like a broken record telling her to be positive, be in
charge of the panic, and to try to relax - but I'll keep saying it.
We both now know that avoidance of triggers isn't the answer, and
hopefully when the meds kick in she'll be able to try little things
like getting online again, walking to the bottom of the street,
going in the garden, and answering the phone without having a heart
attack.
Meg, my mood follows Liz's mood if I'm not careful, I can get very very
down, tearful (never cried since my mom went into hospital 5 years
ago) and I must admit at times I feel resentful as to whatever
caused Liz's panic, resentful that we can't go out together, and
that I can't really go out on my own either - a) because I can
imagine how shes feeling, and b) shes started to panic when I leave
her, and begs me not to go out.
At the moment, Liz isn't doing very much to take her mind off things. She says she can't think. Lots of watching TV (we never really watched TV before). She has done a bit of reading lately, but thats about it. Getting online is difficult, she cant think straight, and doesn't want to talk to anyone. Like I said before, hopefully in time, and the meds help a little she'll come on and talk, maybe get back into talking to her friends on MSN etc. I'm wondering what she can do to keep busy in the house, as she was always an outdoors sort of person - theres not a lot I can think of.
Just a bit, as to what happened over the weekend after she posted...
She was very rocky yesterday morning, and took a valium to calm down, slept for a bit, woke up, and watched the Steiff Teddy Bears on QVC for a bit. At teatime a friend arrived out of the blue - one that had been avoiding us.
By 9pm last night Liz decided to jump in the shower, another big
fear of hers at the moment. I sat on the landing reading a story to
the kids. It seemed to help a lot knowing I was just outside if
anything 'should happen'.
We had a good talk shortly after, mostly about your suggestions, and after refusing to take any more sertraline, she asked me if *I* wanted her to take it.
Obviously I do! It'll help her in time, and these initial wobbles
will soon pass, and as long as we are positive, try to smile and
laugh we can get through this. She then took it, after swearing
she'd never touch them again. We also talked about trying to relax.
I don't think anxiety can exist if you're already relaxed, but this
is the hardest part for her - not something she can do easily. I
have been to hypnotherapy in the past and was taught how to relax. I
try to explain that if you do it properly, its a bit like how you
feel after valium, or sex!(now theres an idea - lol)
We had a very positive couple of hours then, and watched some funny
stuff on video. After I admitted defeat and went to bed at 1.30, she
said she'd follow. I woke up at 6, and she wasnt in bed, turned out
that she'd fallen asleep on the chair just after I'd left her... No
panics, and no need for any more valium.
It's 9.25am now and she went up to bed at 7am, still asleep, so I
can only wait to see how she's gonna cope today. Hopefully this will
be a good day, I can only wait and see. The councellor coming is at
1am, Liz is looking forward to that, but I hope she's not expecting
to get better as soon as shes seen her.
I have to go out on Tuesday and Wednesday for a couple of hours, as I've been off work for a while they want to see me every 4 weeks to see how things are getting on. Liz is already worrying about being on her own. Because its daytime theres nobody to come and stay with her.
As I've said, the councillor is coming today. Its something that I'm paying for, no offer has been made by the CPN or doctor that she could get this on the NHS - does anyone know if it is? We live in Sandwell in the West Mids. I'd love her to see a hypnotherapist, but I'd not be able to pay for both.. but if the councillor was free, I'd be able to get the hypnotherapist to come see her.
Gonna look for rela
Hi Ste,
Thought I would reply to you as I saw from your address that you do not live far from me, I am in Great Barr.I come under North Birmingham health authority and I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist on the NHS, which is of course free.But, I must add, that I had to request my GP to refer me for councelling,as they seem to think that drugs alone are the answer.I assume that you come under Sandwell Health authority, does the CPN work for the mental health team in Sandwell? If so, I am surprised that she hasnt suggested NHS counselling herself.If you are having problems getting anything sorted, the services available can also be accessed through yoour local Social Services office. I would explore all avenues because yoou may find that the help needed is available on the NHS.
Hope this info has been of some use, let us know how you get on
Kate x
Hi Steve,
I agree with Kate. You need to ask and then ask again..These are all available but with different waiting lists time though.....
Couple of things - sitting about doing very little for long periods is of no use at all, it will just give her time to dwell on her fearful and unhappy thoughts and spiral downwards. She doesn't need to think straight or make decisions - just do something.
A good tidy out of drawers and cupboards / freezer is as good as any and will produce positive feelings and a sense of satisfation too. So unless REAL fatigue is a big issue than get up and do. Garden leaves raking would also be good for her when she feels able. Not all day but an hour or so at a time. She needs to exercise a bit each day just to change the air in her lungs properly.
You being there 24/7 is so comforting to her but not actually doing her any good. You popping out for 15 mins , then 20 etc is the way to start. Even if she doesn't move a muscle whilst you're gone the first time or two and you take a mobile. You also need to get out for your sake.
Find a mantra that suits - and repeat it ad nauseum.
I'm afraid the broken record bit is your job at present. It's so important to get those continual positive messages.. Keep with it Steve !!
Good news about the shower, good news about the funny viewing. ..
Keep in touch. Hope the counsellor is good.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hiya Steve,
Good to hear Liz has made some accomplishments since she was on. Like Meg says it would be good for you and Liz for you to start getting out on a regular basis for a bit of time, of course increasing the time that you are out each time. So that everytime you are out and she survives, she will start feeling like she can make it. I know it takes time, just keep being positive and introducing things you know otherwise she would avoid to your regular everyday schedule. In time it will get easier, that we can promise. Keep coming back to let us know how you all are getting along.
Best Wishes!!!
Take care,
Diana xxx
Hi Steve and Liz
I spent ages being too scared to leave the house and bear to answer the phone. I spent weeks wishing i could walk to the local shops (5 mins up the road) and so each day i would get dressed and stand behind the front door shaking like a leaf. One day i just opened the door and walked. I made it to the top of the road....still panicking and bought a pint of milk!!! I was so pleased with myself i phoned my mum on my mobile and asked her to guess where i was. She was so pleased i had done it I felt on top of the world!
I guess the moral of the story is.....small steps at a time and you will get there!!!!!!
Thinking of you! from one who knows exactly how you feel!!!!
love Sarah
xxx
nomorepanic
17-11-03, 19:00
I agree with Meg about keeping busy around the house.
Sometimes when I get panicky I start emptying/tidying drawers and cupboards or my other expensive past-time of pulling wallpaper off walls (cos then we have to redecorate - he he).
Alex tells me sit down and relax but I find it better to use up the nervous energy by doing something. There are times you need to relax but there are other times that it is better to be active. If I sit and think about the painc then I start imagining all the other aches and pains I have so I find it better to do something.
Another good thing is exercise - I go swimming when I feel panicky sometimes. I know that Liz will be unable to do this but like Meg said - raking some leaves in the garden will do the same job.
Good luck
Nicola
I cleaned the walls the other day!;)
Hi all
We had been cleaning out cupboards like mad people, even the deathtrap under the stairs, up until a few weeks ago when Liz was quite positive. Three weeks ago, she did exactly the same as you Sarah, walked to the local shops and stood outside the small supermarket - 3 days in a row, twice by herself and the third time with me. She couldnt face going in though.
The Monday before Halloween she said she wanted some sweets and stuff, and would I go to Asda and get some. I asked if she wanted to come with me. She could always wait outside if she couldnt face going in. She did come with me, and took a big deep breath, clung to my arm, and went into Asda. She did start to panic inside, and wanted to run screaming. Her biggest fear is having a flap in public and having people looking at her, and having nowhere to sit and hide. However she managed the panic beautifully, made a 100% turnaround, carried on and even paid for the stuff at the checkout! Something she would never have thought she;d be able to do. I was dead proud and kept telling her how good she's handled it, and if we kept that up we'd be on a roll.
The next few days were real bad with panic, and sent her spiralling right back down, so much so that she's not even stepped out the door since. I guess if she's have gone out the door again the next day, and the next, it would have really helped. The damn avoidance thing killing everything again!
Then the thought of taking the meds knocked her back, and thats where we were when I first posted on here - desperate, and very scared.
Yesterday - well, what can I say - we talked again, she was worried about me going out for two hours to work (today), so I said I'd ask a neighbour to come and see her - I know thats avoidance, but 2hours+ is a very long time for her at the moment.
However, after the CPN rang, and put her fears of the nausea to rest (Prob caused by meds, and will pass), we talked some more "positive" and "coping" stuff. The counsellor came, so I was able to get out for a few hours - it was only meant to be an hour visit, but Maggie hung around for over two hours, they were getting on so well :)
Positive vibes then until bedtime :):). If we can keep these up, then maybe we'll get outside again, and Liz will start to use the computer. Last night she had some tea (first time for a week), downloaded some tunes from the internet, had a small panic (resolved with positive messages!), and watched Peter Kay until tears were rolling down her cheeks. I was so happy!
Thankyou to all you wonderful people for being there, we dont feel so isolated now - and Liz read your comments last night, along with Meg and Nicola's suggestions... I wanted to print them out, but I'm now kicking seven bells out of the printer - why do they never work properly?
Kate, Thanks for that. I did tell the CPN that I'd booked a private counsellor, and asked about an NHS one. He's gonna get a referal set up. Apparently he'd not mentioned it as he didnt think Liz was ready! Gawd, I reckon she's be a lot better if she'd been able to talk to someone before now.
Sorry for the long post again.
Take Care
Ste
Ste,
You are sounding much more positive now, amazing what a bit of support from people who understand can do for you!Although it probably seems to you that Liz is taking 3 steps forward and 10 steps back, this real bad phase of anxiety in her will pass and she will feel more able again to venture outside.As the CPN said, sometimes the sufferer is so withdrawn that talking is either not possible or would be of little benefit. However,now that Liz has talked to a counsellor and it appears to be helping,keep following up on the NHS referal.
Take care of yourselves
Kate x
Dear Liz
Please have faith in yourself. I too was like this and can honestly say - IT WILL PASS. Now I have learnt to live with a little anxiety which is around me most of the time, and to never be truly relaxed. It is just a part of me.
Listen to the advice of Nic and Meg. It really is very good. If you don't feel like talking, just keep reading. It did me the world of good to know I wasn't the only "mad" person out there (and I don't mean any offence by that, but at one stage, I really thought I was going bonkers).
You may not believe it now, but diet, exercise, breathing techniques, relaxing and keeping busy REALLY DO HELP.
Perhaps you could try making lists of things to do each day, and focus on doing them when your husband has to go out. These can only be small things - checking the sell by date of the cans in the cupboard, and throwing any old ones away etc. (Our kitchen cupboards are regimented after I suffered a blip last month!!!) I also arrange my books in order, and have found that quite often, I "find" an old favourite, and before I know it, I'm on chapter five! The same can go for CD's / tapes too!
Keeping a very simple list of jobs to do, can give you a sense of achievement, but please don't put too much pressure on yourself. Why not try half a dozen small tasks to be carried out over the week.
Also, do you have any hobbies? I find cross-stitch and making things very theraputic. My friends always know if I'm having a bad patch, cos I'll turn up for a coffee with my cross stitch bag in my hand!!!
Both of you take care
Charlie
Hey Steve!!!
Kudos to Liz for the accomplishments. Sounds like she is well on her way. Just remember baby steps, then bigger steps, then "LARGE" steps ;). It will all come with time a preserverance. Just keep up the positive thoughts. Take care both of you, we are all in your corner :D.
Diana xoxoxo
Liz,
It is also true that settling in on new medication can make the nervousness /anxiety worse before it gets better for a couple of weeks, then slowly you'll feel the ready - brek -glow - feeling kick in.
I can so relate Lottie to checking the expiry dates of the tins in the cupboards. Doing out the freezer was a good one too. Labelling kids clothes, sorting out and albuming years of family photos was fab as they made me smile and cry alternately.
Lots of singing the musicals - badly.
I wouldn't go out alone but into the garden with someone was fine so that was a great help.
I did tapestry, I found cross stitch too fiddly on really bad days.
One girl I worked with learnt all the trivial persuit questions and answers so when she was better she would win...
I agree about the neighbour as 2 hours is too long to start with but do start going out Steve - now ...for short periods of time and Liz really push yourself to go outdoors - little steps- open door and deep breaths and close again, then 2 steps outside and so forth but keep it going each day.
You see from the Asda trip how quickly avoidance sets in - you need to start pushing back your boundaries a chink at a time.
You're doing so well on gathering information and on the support front.
Positivity, Proactivity, Patience and Perseverence and this too shall pass....
How are your children coping ?
Steve, How are your work being with you being off for this long, Didn't oyu have to go and see them this week ?
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
nomorepanic
18-11-03, 19:58
Steve
Good news on the days out - she did very well.
I just wanted to say that I think you are such a lovely person to take the time to come here and do all this for Liz - not many would take the time to care so much.
You seem like a very loving, strong, caring person and that is just what Liz needs. Don't wear yourself down too much though will you please?
Love to you both
Nicola
Hi Charlie, I know what just what you mean when you said 'Mad' - Liz says that all the time, but like you said - knowing you're not the only one who feels like that it really helps! Glad to hear that you are feeling a lot better now.
Meg, yes I went to work to see my manager and personnel manager. They have been really good. I don't know what I'd have done without their support. It was my managers idea to go see the doc myself and get signed off sick in the first place after I'd used a full years leave in one go. My workplace also have an occupational health centre run by Bupa. I went to see the RGN at the OH yesterday, and she was wonderful. She'd actually suffered herself, which made her completely on our side - she'd even taken the same meds, and knew all about them!
She gave me her mobile number, and said we could ring her at any time - and she also rang the CPN, GP, and is getting stuck into Social services to see what they can do to help. Lovely lady.
Liz's counsellor rang yesterday too - and is coming again next week, Liz has a new friend there - she said she doesn't want to take any money of her. Can't believe it - months without any support, and then all this :)
Liz walked to the end of the drive yesterday. I know we don't live in a mansion with a 3 mile long drive - but thats more than shes done since Asda, and I was so proud! We're going to try that everyday, and go a bit further when she feels up to it. Very tired afterwards though.
I also ordered a relaxation CD from hynpnosisaudio, based on comments in another part of the forum - its just arrived, so we'll try it out later on.
Give her time to let the happy drugs set in, and I'm pretty sure she'll start to be able to do the things you've all suggested. At the moment its still all a big step to take.
Thanks Nicola for the lovely comments. I'm not very strong but I do love her like theres no tommorrow, so I try!
Take care,
Ste
So pleased that you are both sounding so positive. Please Liz, try and walk to the end of the drive each day. I know it sounds stupid, but if you can keep doing this for a few weeks, it really will lead to other ventures!
Whatever you do, please keep reviewing your progress, focusing on the positive, and try not to be too hard on yourself.
I fell into this trap the other day, and it was only when Nicola said that she had laughed when I said I hadn't done anything major, only going shopping, eating out, going clubbing and to the theatre, that I realised that I had come so far. Nicola found it amusing that I was doing so much and hadn't seen it AND SHE WAS SO RIGHT!!! Since her comments, I have had a really good week, and am definitely brighter than I have been for the last month, because I have focused on the positive, and once again can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Walking to the end of the drive might seem "pathetic" to those who have never suffered, but I know there are lots of people out there who would love to give you a big hug, and say well done, because we "mad" people know how hard these things really are.
Please try to keep hold of the positive outlook you have at the moment, and please keep trying to walk to the end of the drive. You'll have a big sense of pride if you can tell your CPN counsellor that you have done this every day since Wednesday.
And Steve - yes you are very strong. When my anxiety was at it's peak, my partner walked out, as he couldn't cope (and had the cheek to ask me back when I was starting to feel better!!!) So have more faith in yourself - you really do sound super. (Have you got a brother?)
Take care of yourselves
Charlie
Hiya Steve and Liz,
Good going on the walks to the end of the drive, Keep up the good work. It will get easier, this we promise. You both have done so well, and Liz you are soo fortunate to have the support of your partner. I have been with my partner going on fifteen years now and have suffered with this disorder off and on over the years. At first I would say that my partner was afraid that I was dying, but after all of the trips to the hospital emergency rooms, and learning that it is a "mental" issue. He has been very "COLD" about the whole thing. Telling me I am just giving up, I need to fight this thing, I am weak etc. etc. I actually shed tears when reading Steves last post about how he loves you like no tomorrow, what a blessing that is for you. You both take care, and I send you both an e-hug. Keep up the good work and stay positive!!!!!
Take care,
Diana xxxxoooo
Hi Charlie, thats such great news to read that you are doing all of those things - clubbing, eating out, going to the theatre! I can't imagine us doing those things again, so to read that you once felt like Liz, but are now back into it really puts a smile on my face! Well done hon, thats really something to feel real proud about!!! Keep up the positive thoughts, and keep doing all those amazing things. I hope you gave him a right kick where it hurts when he came back to you too.
Thanks Diana, sending you a hug back! It really helps knowing that you guys are all there, at the same time it really hurts to know how many of you have suffered from this evil thing. Liz is exactly the same you know - every little twinge or sore spot, she starts to think she has cancer or some nasty illness.
Just another question, as I've been thinking (dangerous I know), but has anyone had any help with a professional taking you outside for a walk, on the bus, in the car, to the shops, etc? If so where can I get this help? I feel likes its been left to me to help Liz get out all of the time. Something which I'm doing, but I'm no expert on dealing with feelings whilst she is outside. The feeling of upsurging panic, beating heart etc, showing herself up if someone sees her panic, or not having anywhere to hide. How do you cope with the feelings outside? Its like shes waiting to have a panic when she goes out, and she's 100% certain it will happen -despite trying to keep it at bay with positive messages and calm breathing.
Lots of hugs
Ste
Hi Steve and Liz
About the professional help....Myself and Jo have posted our experiences with group and one to one anxiety management courses. If you go to the search facility at the top of this page and put in 'anxiety management' there is a topic with the same name with 5 pages in it.
We were both referred by our GP, so have a read...it may be something to look into. On my one to one sessions she has taken me to many places from the local coffee shop to town for some shopping. I think both myself and Jo found it very beneficial.
The only way i cope with the feelings outside is to keep practising. Like Liz, i started off going in the garden, then to the end of the drive then as i said in an earlier post one day i just walked up the road!!!!!
It happens but small steps are great to start with...they make you feel on top of the world and the more you do it, the more confident and happy you will feel!
Keep it up, you are doing great!!!!!
love Sarah
xxxx
nomorepanic
20-11-03, 21:01
quote:Originally posted by Lottie32
I fell into this trap the other day, and it was only when Nicola said that she had laughed when I said I hadn't done anything major, only going shopping, eating out, going clubbing and to the theatre, that I realised that I had come so far. Nicola found it amusing that I was doing so much and hadn't seen it AND SHE WAS SO RIGHT!!! Since her comments, I have had a really good week, and am definitely brighter than I have been for the last month, because I have focused on the positive, and once again can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Charlie
Hi Charlie - I am so pleased to hear that you are feeling better and realising that such little (sometimes considered pathetic) things we do are major things to us. You are doing so well :D
Sorry to hear that your partner left you because of it. My ex-boyfriend left me too so I know how you feel :(
Nicola
nomorepanic
20-11-03, 21:05
quote:Originally posted by Scared
He has been very "COLD" about the whole thing. Telling me I am just giving up, I need to fight this thing, I am weak etc. etc. I actually shed tears when reading Steves last post about how he loves you like no tomorrow, what a blessing that is for you.
Diana - I am so sorry to hear that you do not get the support from your partner - it must be really hard. Mine is a star but I am very lucky to have him.
I do believe (Steve is exempt from this) that women make better understanding partners of sufferers than men do as I read so many posts in here where the female says her partner does not understand or help.
Would he consider reading some stuff on here Diana to help him understand?
Keep you chin up and hang on to that pride of yours :)
Nicola
Hiya Nicola,
Thanks so much for the kind words. I`m not sure he would be open to reading anything on here or not, I have actually thought about asking that he do so. Especially after reading Steves posts, how wonderful ey!!!! I will ask him this evening to just read some information to help him understand,it may help him be more considerate. I know I do not get the support from my mate that I would love to have, but you all here make me feel safe and understood. I sit here and read some of these posts and actually find myself weeping at the support and the progress that so many on here have achieved. I know I`m not alone or weak anymore, now that I have found you all. Thanks a million for all of the help and support you give here.
Love,
Diana xxxxx
Hey Charlie and Nicola,
I am sorry to hear your partners left you all because of this nasty disorder. I guess I feel as you both do, though physically my partner has not gone, but emotiionally it feels the same. Charlie kudos for all the strides you are making, you are inspiring to all of us who have still so far to go. Take care both of you!!!!
Lot`s of love
Diana xxxxx
nomorepanic
20-11-03, 21:37
quote:Originally posted by Scared
I sit here and read some of these posts and actually find myself weeping at the support and the progress that so many on here have achieved. I know I`m not alone or weak anymore, now that I have found you all. Thanks a million for all of the help and support you give here.
Diana - I too cry at some of the posts :( Some cos they are so sad and some cos they are such great news.
You sound like a very postive person to me and I truly believe that sufferers are stronger people than anyone gives us credit for.
Nicola
Hi Nicola,
Thanks again for the kind words. I would like to think that I am a positive person. I do also believe that I am strong. I feel that if my partner had to go through half of what we go through he may not be standing today, and surely not be able to talk about it. I know that some may think we are crazy or just plain lazy, but here I feel "NORMAL" whatever that means!!! LOL.............. I just know that I am not alone, and all of you here know and understand how I feel, even if no one else does.
Love,
Diana xxx
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