My world has become sooo scarey...

[dianes]

Since I have been suffering with panic/anxiety/agoraphobia I have found that my world has become soo scarey :ohmy: I am scared everytime I go out for a walk with my hubby, I also find I have become a really weird person now and find I say the most rediculous things. I cannot go out on my own at the moment, when I do go out I hang onto my hubby for grim death as I have the weirdest sensation that I am going to fall over!!! Everything around me seems so big, bright and noisy it scares the hell out of me :ohmy:

I find I have a real problem with traffic... if I walk up the road facing oncoming traffic I my heart beats faster, my hands start to sweat I feel dizzy and anxious and want to run home!:scared15: It is worse if I see a bus/lorry coming down the road, I say things like 'OMG what is that doing?' as if it shouldn't be on the road at all. I then have to stop and cover my ears until it passes.

I was told by my support worker if I went to a place often enough I would get desensitised to it, but it hasn't seemed to work. I have been walking to the same places for months now and still feel terrified everytime I go outside the front door. Does anyone else experience these fears or is it just me? And how long did it take before you stopped feeling like this?

Diane

'Your imagination is always much worse than the reality'

[honeybee3939]

Hi Diane

I can understand what you mean, i suffered with Agorophobia for many years, i remember saying the exact same thing regarding the panic never going away when i walk or went places over and over again. The thing is though i used to dread going to these places, even before i left the house i would panic thinking about it. I know doing it over and over again is supposed to help and in a way it does but with me i could walk into town and back for days on end but it was so hard everytime i attempted it. What helped me the most was to distract myself while i was doing it, i used to put my MP3 player on and listen to it, i have even taken a magazine with me while walking and when i felt the panic raising i used to stop and sit on a wall and read it till the panic went away. It took many months for me to overcome my fears, but eventually it all became second nature, just like when you are indoors and feel safe, and go upstairs or something, you dont think about it you just do it! its like that too in the outside world once you can learn to distract yourself from your feelings it will become just a normal thing to do.

I never ever thought i would ever over-come my fear of the outside world Diane, but i did and im sure you can too hun:hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxxx

[leisa]

hi diane,i can so relate 2 u babe,ur symptoms r classic panic & anxiety,which believe it or not r normal so tell urself what u r feeling is ok although scary no real harm will come 2 u,our bodys kick in2 action when our brain detects danger & we become so sensitive 2 things & feelings around us so much so they dont feel "real",but its only a defence mechanism 4 our own sake,i have done so much research on this so try & b strong & u can always leave me a message if u like take carexleisax

[lorac]

Hello Diane

I know exactly what you are talking about I lived like that for ages it's sensitization and it makes everything seem so unreal I used to wear sunglasses all the time coz everything was so bright, sounds were extra loud and I couldn't cross the road for fear of falling onto a car and as for railway stations I had to stand against the wall.

By doing the things and going to the places you fear will help you but you have also got to learn to make all those feeling not matter quite so much because you are just building fear on top of fear. Andrea is right you need something to distract you so that those feeling don't matter quite so much and by doing this it will help you to desenitize

I would recommend reading a book called Self Help for your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weeks. This book really did help to get me out of this and now I can go out and not feel bewildered as I felt before. You will have to be patient and work with the book but I got some really good results by practising what she said and now when I go out I feel quite normal again.

Good luck. You are not weird your nerves are just sensitized and you can change this.

Love
Carol
xx

[Liverbird67]

hiya Diane
Sorry that you are feeling so bad at the moment, believe it or not it is because you are hypersensitive at the moment, thats why things are brighter and noiser than usual basically all your senses are on high alert,things will calm down eventually, I am sure that reading Claire Weekes books will make sense of it all for you, good luck.
Have a good browse around the forums and go into the chatrooms, you will be amazed at how many people feel or have felt the way you do.
We are all very friendly and supportive.

Lots of love
Liverbird
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[franklin2003]

Claire Weekes will cure you...you're doing the right thing the wrong way...it's a very simple solution with very hard implementation steps.. the simple fact is you are approaching the situation in fear when you should approach with acceptance. Truth is you will continue to feel your symptoms while you are in recovery, but you need to go through them the right way....hard to believe but in my recovery i am now at the stage where I welcome panic and anxiety..i have no problem living with it and doing the things i need to do...the truth is is that i have very little to no anxiety anymore because i've truly accepted it.

I have a long post over the course of a few months that discusses my recovery in the success stories..i encourage you to read it and see that true recovery is possible it just takes a lot of work and doesn't happen overnight.

[dianes]

Thank you for all your messages of support and advice :yesyes: I will certainly buy the book by Dr. Claire Weeks. I don't know if I will be able to 'welcome' the feelings Franklin as they do scare the living daylights out of me :ohmy: but I will try. I still have a problem trying to understand how you desensitise yourself to a situation. I took it to mean when my support worker said that if I went to a place often enough I would become desensitised to it, that I wouldn't feel scared walking to that place or being in that place anymore, e.g. the supermarket. But it hasn't seemed to work that way! I still feel scared and get the sensations everytime we have to go there :weep: Maybe I need to be more patient.

Thanks once again, sorry to be a pain.

Diane

Your imagination is always much worse than the reality

[chalky]

Hi Diane,

Give yourself time to change.
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Your feelings of apprehension and fear will take time to fade.
Keep a note of what happens when you visit certain places.There may be turmoil in your mind but does anything actually happen physically-do you collapse? do you faint?etc.
What you want is for these trips to have less impact on you mentally and physically as time goes by.
Never forget all the energy that your body generates during these trips-the body has an absolutley amazing ability to cope.
Look on these trips not as somthing endured but something achieved.Always try to take a positive out of it-Even though I felt bad,I still achieved.
You can build confidence in ourself on this basis.
Be proud of what you are trying to do.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[smudgie]

Hi Diane

I think you have had alot of good advise from such caring people.
Chalky is so right, give yourself some time, his words are so meaningful.

Sending you some flowers hun and keep your chin up:flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

Take care of you
Smudgie

[Bill]

Hello Diane:hugs: ,

I feel to cure panic takes more than actual desensitising.

I found this in an earlier post of yours....

I had a dreadful nights sleep worrying about worse case senarios.

You've also mentioned you feel "trapped". I think probably because you feel trapped by your fears.

We can keep going back to the same places over and over again in the hope of desensitising ourselves but if our minds are "constantly worrying" about having a panic when we get there, then the panics will keep occuring no matter how often we visit these places.

It's Not a case of saying to you to stop worrying because that's what we do! It's case of switching off this particular worry of having a panic attack there.

No doubt you went through a bad episode or even just a bad day when you first experienced a panic attack and that fear has stayed with you ever since.

It's not desensitising yourself to the "places", it's desensitising yourself to the "worry of having a panic" when you get there that you need to conquer because then your mind will stop focussing on that particular worry and the panics will then stop. You'll also stop feeling trapped too.:hugs:

That's the logic.........doing is not easy, I know!:hugs:

[dianes]

:D Thanks for all your advice folks. I think you are right Bill, I am scared of having another panic attack like the one that triggered all of this off. I had suffered panic before about 23yrs ago when I was able to work, my thyroid started running over active causing the panic and I was put on diazepam and propanalol to help with the symptoms. When my thyroid poblem was eventually resolved everything settled down. I had the odd panic attack travelling on a motorway but gave up travelling on them and dual carriageways.

I had a very bad panic attack 3 yrs ago which was like nothing I had ever experienced before and the following day found I could not go outside my front or back door. Reading the posts they have made alot of sense to me and I will try to stop worrying so much and keep looking to the positive.

Diane

your imagination is always much worse than the reality