Not really here

[phoebe]

Hi,

My names Phoebe, I'm 27, been suffering from anxiety since Nov last year. Have spoken to some of you in the chatroom which has really helped but kinda wanted some reasuurance on one of my symptoms, this desensitization thingy......

Basically scaring the c**p out of me, so much so that I haven;t gone to work today. I seem to get it more when I'm driving which has now made me scared to drive! For example drove somewhere the other day and had to turn around to make sure I hadn't run someone over as I went into daydream mode, of course I think we would all know if we had run someone over but my brain doesn't seem to want to believe this so I had to turn around and go check, this really makes me feel like I'm losing the plot!

Last Friday I drove for about an hour and felt like I kept switching off and going into a daydream like state, now when I do this I keep trying to remember various stages of the drive like what car I was driving behind or anything that I can remember so I can convince myself I didn't switch off completely and am not a danger to the road! Its almost like my brains so full up with worry there's no room for me to do two things at once, i.e drive and think!

I was also in Next the same day and whilst paying for something went into daydream mode again and then paniced and thought what if I'd been stood there for ages with a blank expression on my face not realizing the sales girl was waiting to give me my change?!!!!

I did some 'research' on this desensitization thingy on the net and it said it can be the start of a multiple personality desorder, how true I don't know but am now convinced I am going to get this! When I asked my councillor about this she assured me it was just another symptom of anxiety but it seems to have got worse so now I just think I'm going mad! All of my other symptoms have gone and I was really feeling better, then this gets worse and I feel like I'm back to square one again. Sometimes I also feel there's a fog in front of my head and I can't think clearly, had this alot recently, not good when working in a busy Office, another reason I haven't gone work today.

Anyway thanks for letting me have a rant, any feed back would be extremely welcome :). Also thanks again to all the peeps I've spoken to in chatroom, its really helped.

Phoebe xxx

[alswife]

Hi Phoebe

I think Depersonalisation can in some people end up with them getting a multiple personality but not everybody. I had DP for over 2 years but made a complete recovery from it. At my worst I felt like I was going mad all the time and had the foggy brain feeling but even thats gone now. I really can sympathise with you because it is the worst feeling ever.

Joanna:hugs:

[Liverbird67]

Hiya Phoebe,
I think this depersonalisation thing is scary too, over the last couple of weeks, I have been off work and getting loads more sleep, more than I get when working full time (I too work in a very busy office) and have noticed that it is not so bad, I think its some sort of exhaustion thing linked to the anxiety, I had an appointment with my works doctor on Friday and when I mentioned this, (I get the feeling that I am not sure whether I am awake or asleep) the first thing he asked me was about my sleep and how tired I was, and he said if you wanted to make someone show mental health problems such as anxiety and depression the first thing you would do would be to deprieve them of sleep or interupt their sleep patterns! its something to think about isn't it. I think when we are very anxious etc your quality of sleep goes out the window anyway, some people can wake through the night or have vivid dreams which wake them, and we all know that lying awake at 4am in the dark can make even the most little worry or trouble manifest itself 100%.

As for that article re multiple personality disorder, I would take that with a pinch of salt, I work in mental health and have done for years, I know for a fact that multiple personality disorder is extremely rare and most of the professionals I work with have never seen a case of it and never will do.