Green Eyed Monster

[CarlNottm]

Hi all,

Does anyone else suffer from severe jealousy. I haven't got or had a relationship with anyone for a very long time and I beleive this is down to my insecurities. I get jealous about pretty much everyone and everything its driving me up the wall. How should I go about trying to get rid of this envy??

C

[Lilith1980]

Hi Carl

I get severe jealousy, although it seems to be lessening somewhat. But its all down to being insecure within yourself.

If I was happy with the person I was/happy with how I looked, I wouldnt give two hoots about my b/f talking to another girl.

I used to fly off the handle at my b/f for talking to another girl. Now I just get one of those uncomfortable feelings - like an itch that needs to be scratched. I dont have a go at him about things, I talk to him, telling him if I felt a bit weird and he will give me a hug and reassure me.

What sort of things do you get jealous about Carl?

Have you had counselling for this? I used to see a counsellor and I came away feeling a bit better about myself. But now I am waiting for CBT because I want to be able to work through some of the thoughts I have in a rational way. I dont want to just ignore them and brush them aside, I want to prove to myself that these thoughts are irrational!

Jo xxxxx

[kaz79]

I used to get very jealous. When I was pregnant, I found out my partner had been looking at porn on the internet. I was devastated and felt like shit as I was huge and feeling ugly.
I also found a picture of another girl on his fone. It was a rather seductive photo.
I will never trust him and Im only with him because of the girls.
I dont want anyone else so Im stuck with him.
Mind you. ive always been a bit like this.:ohmy:

[PUGLETMUM]

:) hi, yes ive had it chronically and i can report that you can recover from it. like jo says it can be connected to low sel-esteem, it was in my case - feel better about yourself = feeling less concerned with others and not feeling like they can devastate your life? for you i would read up on it and find out in yourself why you are so jealous? are you afraid of losing people? are you comparing yourself too much to other people and leaving yourself feeling lacking? learn why you feel so bad that you are so concerned with other people? i never felt jeaolous until i met my husband then because i had suffered emotioanl trauma due to the death of my mum i didnt want to feel that loss again from somebody deceiving me/leaving me - but in effect you make tha tmore likreely as you make yourself very unattractive to be around, not on a superficial level, like people liking confidence, but on a level where it really isnt empowering to be soooo dependent on somebody else for your semse of self-worth. im not sure why you are suffering jealousy, but this is my reason, so you will have to figure out firstly why you are feeling like this by being totally honest with yourself - i admire you for wanting to rid yourself of this monster:yesyes:take care,emma

[CarlNottm]

Thanks for the replies,

I really can't pinpoint what causes this in me and it seems it just one of many issues im facing with anxiety. I have put off going to the doctors for so long because I thought I should be able to manage on my own but it's obvious I need help so Im going to stop punishing myself and book an appointment. Its a horrible feeling like rejection even when I haven't been rejected.

Thanks again for sharing thoughts

Carl

[PUGLETMUM]

:winks: yes it is a horrid horrid feeling, but like i said its one that like all the others can be overcome - if you want it enough:yesyes: all the best, emma