Hi i'm new xx

[sarahx17x]

Hi i'm new to all this so i'm sorry if do something wrong xlolx well i'm almost 18 now and have been suffering with social anxiety since i can remember really but it worsened as i approached my teen years x i was always painfully shy, even with family members an then when i started high school i'd hardly ever go out an started becoming more and more aware of my surroundings etc, and started to dread family members comin round to our house, as soon as the doorbell rang i'd shoot up stairs to my bedroom and nothing would make me go downstairs until i was absolutely certain they had gone. i didnt really understand why all this was happening and thought it was because i was painfully shy, i'd never answer the door, never answer the phone and if i was forced to be in a social situation i'd try to look as uncomfortable as possible and avoid eye contact so they wouldn't talk to me.. ppl would laugh if i got embarrased and went red so that only made things worse. when i was with my friends (the few i had) i would feel comfortable an say whatever i wanted and just be myself.. but if one person i hardly knew joined us i'd feel extremely uncomfortable an would become very aware of how i was walking etc, and would just shut up.
When i was 16 i met my boyfriend of a chat site and met him with a friend.. a week later i moved in.. im now 17 an still living here.. i've only got worser.. i can't go out on my own at all.. i have to be with my boyfriend or mum or one of my closest friends.. even when im with someone outside i still feel panicky. I feel like everyone is staring and laughing at me, i cant get a job because it's impossible, i cant talk to strangers because i dont want the attention an dont want to say something wrong, i get so frustrated and i've chose to just avoid going out an risking being put in a social situation.
about a year ago i went with boyfriend to the doctors and wrote a letter in detail about how i feel when outside on my own.. my legs feel like jelly an my body feels stiff, i feel so awkward, i sweat and feel dizzy an sick an my heart beats so fast and it feels like somethings in my throat an something tight in my chest and i feel extremely scared and just want to get back home asap. she referred me to this woman then i had to tell her an i was crying my eyes out whilst telling her, then i had to see a psychotheraist once a week and had relaxing tips but i couldnt relax.. it felt like i didnt have time to do it.. i had to set myself tasks like going the shop by myself etc.. i did it!! then i went round the block on my own .. all the feelings came bk again an i became scared again .. then one time my mum and boyfriend couldn't come with me to psychotherapist so i dont know how but i managed to go by myself in a taxi.. everythin was not so bad.. i asked her to ring me a taxi an she did..... then she said that maybe i could try an ring taxi next tie and i agreed an got bk in taxi to go home. i had the exact money 4 taxi but he went a diferent way to usual an charged me extra but i didnt have the money an he let me off.. but both those incidents made me never go bk an iv just got worse an worse xxxxxxx

[andie73]

hi and welcome
You will get lots of support here. I'm new too and it's really helpful. You know that there is always going to be someone here who knows how you are feeling, that is a real relief that you are not alone.
It is true that the only way to improve is to challenge your anxieties. I am socially anxious to, I'm 34 so have had longer to learn how to deal with it. I still go bright red in certain situations where I feel under pressure and panic makes me want to run too. These feelings are totally normal. It's the fight or flight mechanism that we needed in caveman times to survive. The important thing to focus on is that none of these feelings can hurt you, it is just the body reacting to an increase in adrenaline. It does subside. Running fuels these feelings because your body still produces adrenaline to get you away asap. I really really struggle with this but am finally learning to ride it out where ever I am, and trust that you will naturally calm down. But it isn't easy to stay put when your body is screaming out to leg it! Try little steps, don't take on too much. You have achieved alot with taxi's etc, so try not to look at those as negative experiences. It may have been awful but you survived and second time round is always a bit easier.
I hope you find some of this waffle helpful. Try to read up on anxiety and panic as understanding helps, the panic still happens but it might be less scary if you know why you are getting these feelings. You have the power within you to beat this. Honest.

[kellie]

hiya sarah :welcome: to nmp hun its lovely to have you here :D . you will get lots of support and advice from all the great ppl here. you dont need to feel shy or alone on here hun everyone is very understanding of what you are going though and how you feel. you may want to do a quick intro of yourself on the introduce yourself section to let ppl know you have done a post in here. hope to talk to you in the chat room soon.

best wishes
take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie . xxxxxxxxx

[chalky]

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[honeybee3939]

Hi Sarah

Welcome to NMP, its lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice, support and make new friends too.:)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxxx

[andrea_eyre]

hi iam new to this site after reading what you had to say it was like me you where talking about i can not answer the door if iam on my own when family come to vist i run up stairs and wait while they have gone i dont go out on my own i have no friends i worry that people would not like me i am unable to go any where there are a lot of people in one place i start to panic if i have to go some where that i dont want to iam scared to answer the phone in case i dont know what to say to them when iam around pepole i go hot my heart beats fast even going out shopping i have to have someone with me a lot of pepole dont undersand us iam so glad i found this site i thought there was only me that was this bad any if you want to talk you can alwasys talk to me we might beable to help each other if we talk about how we are feeling remember iam here if you need me andreaxxx