just joined

[aroha]

Hi there
I have just found this forum and only recently had the courage to confront my anxiety head on. I had a very small episode of OCD checking when I was 15 and my mum sent me off to a psychologist and it was pretty much sorted very quickly.

I was a very mild checker but nothing too much and I wouldn't consider I had a mental health diagnosis for most of my life up until now....

Eight years ago my mum died, horribly and traumatically and then 2 months later I got pregnant. I developed severe OCD and anxiety (GAD) that I would hurt the baby, something I ate or did would cause the baby to die, I become obsessed with germs, contamination - all of it. My hands were washed so much they cracked and bled most of the time.

You're getting the picture probably, the OCD and anxiety has continued for the last 8 years, worse when I am pregnant (I have 3 kids) and it is much better now, but I still struggle with lots of anxiety and OCD related to things about something happening to the children.

I am seeing an excellent therapist and I am getting there. I realise I can't live my life on what ifs and I need to just live for now - and enjoy it.

The last few months have been a big step for me, because I have spent 8 years hiding the OCD and the anxiety - because of stigma really. Now I don't want any more secrets about it, I'm going to get on top of this and find myself again. I lost so much of who I was, and I really used to like me!

that's all from me for me
thanks:)

[Nibbles]

Hi Aroha and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way. I'm glad things are better for you after such a horrid time and I'm sure you're positive attitude will help conquer the rest.

Take care,

Mike :)

[kellie]

hiya aroha :welcome: to nmp hun its lovely to have you here :D . you will get lots of support and advice and make some great friends along the way. im so sorry about the loss of your mom and what you have been going though since. there are lots of ppl here who can relate and help you along your journey to recovery. dont forget to visit the chat room where you can talk to us all and have a giggle as well.

best wishes
take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie .xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[chalky]

Hi Aroha,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[samsara]

Hi aroha, and welcome Ithink you are doing very well with three kids, I lost my mum and support when i was 23 and had an 18 month old child , I had lost my dad earlierso I know the feeling of not being safe and secure. You will find good freinds and support on this site.
Regards Samsara:)

[aroha]

thanks for the welcome. Actually funny thing is, I work in Mental Health :blush:
I have been lucky in lots of ways, because my ocd and anxiety all centred around losing my kids or my partner (pretty obvious roots really since it all started after my mum died suddenly - she was young:weep:)

anyway because my anxiety has been really confined to one area of my life, the rest of my life has been left in tact - I feel really thankful for this but not thankful for the private hell I endure at times sweating it out thinking the kids have some awful disease etc etc etc:doh:

[Lindalou64]

Hello Aroha And Welcome......i Wish Ya Well.......linda

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Aroha

A warm :welcome: to NMP and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help

[Joe1981]

Welcome to the site :D

[Lilith1980]

Hi Aroha

Welcome to NMP :)

Jo xxxxx

[aroha]

thanks everyone:)