View Full Version : Things seem to be looking up!!!(WELL THEY DID!)
Just an update really to last weeks miserable post. Things at home are getting better, my husband is helping more in the house and starting work later so he is able to look after our little boy for a bit, before he brings him to me at my shop. He is asking his mom for more help looking after the kids at weekends and holidays, so that is less pressure and today he sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers to my shop!!! On top of that, I have had a good week in my shop and even that seems to be looking up! Went to see my counsellor yesterday and unfortunately spent half of the sessions talking about my ectopics, but I think overall it is working because I am talking about things in a different way and beginning to feel a bit better - except for the missed beats. If they would go things would be easier to control, although probably a different symptom that frightens me just as much would probably appear!!!
Just thought I would share my week with you. It has been hectic, but ok and even though the ectopics got to me at the start of it, I wouldn't allow them to stop me doing anything. I have also decided that I am going to visit Cory's grave and my mom and dads and nan and grandads. On 15th May, it will have been 3years since Cory was born/died so I think this will be a 'good' time to visit him and also it is 10years next month since I lost my mom and I haven't been to any of their graves since we lost Cory and I feel now I have to face all of this and really try to get there. I used to go regularly until we lost Cory (birthdays, mothers day, xmas etc..) but have found it hard since this happened as I found it hard to go to Cory's grave and then would have felt guilty if I had been to everyone elses and not his! They are also about 20 miles apart, my mom,dad, nan and grandad are all in the same cemetary in Birmingham but Cory is in Walsall.
Sorry, this was meant to be a positive post. Apart from ectopics I am feeling better and would like to thank everyone who takes time out to answer my posts.
Love,
Linda.xx
hello Linda,
I'm very happy to hear that things are looking up for you. It's great that your husband has started to help you out a little more - I guess he has realised just how much you do every day. Hope things stay like this!!
Sarah :D
nomorepanic
24-03-05, 19:43
Linda
I am so pleased that things have picked up. I have been reading all your posts and following the struggles etc.
Great news and it is great that hubbie is helping more now too.
Thanks for the post - nice to cheer us up when others feel down.
Nicola
I think you are incredibly brave, and should be so proud of yourself dont beat your self up about not visting, remember always in your heart, no matter were you are,, always in your thoughts, you havent neglected any of that you've just given yourself a little time untill your ready again, glad you've had good day keep positive your doing great xx kairen xx
kairen x
Hi Linda
So pleased to hear that your husband has taken on more responsibility with the children. Maybe you did give him a wake up call and he now wants you to show how much he wants you still to be a family.
It must be hard about visiting the grave but maybe now that he is behind you and you are feeling a bit stronger it would be a good time to try it. You have over a month to prepare yourself and i am sure that visiting Cory's grave will be very hard but it might give you some peace and having done it once you could always go back whenever you feel the need to be on your own and let your feelings out.
You have done really well with what you have been through and i hope things carry on to improve for you.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
Linda,
Am really pleased for you that this week has been so much more positive. Good to hear that your husband is helping more, & that it's been a better week in your shop.
I hope that things continue to improve.
Linda. x
Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
Hi everyone,
Feel a bit bad for my hubby today. The children are going to his moms today and tomorrow (they obviously broke up yesterday) so he presumed she would keep them overnight, to save us extra trips tonight and in the morning. Our daughter rang her, to ask if they could sleep over, ultimately, she wanted to speak to her son, who she then had a go at. She reckoned he had said he was taking them down last night (Thursday) which he adamantly says he didn't and she had put clean sheets on bed and nobody turned up! When he said, well, thats ok, if I made a mistake, but I meant for Friday, she promptly told him she needs to sleep properly and they can't stay! I felt so sorry for him and sort of blame myself that he is eventually seeing what she's like. He couldn't believe it and he must have felt so dejected. He is still taking the kids down today whilst we are both at work, even though we both felt like telling her to STICK HER HELP (if you can call it that) and he said he's still going to tell her we need help for the rest of the hols. He has suddenly realised that as a nan, she doesn't really want to help out. I don't expect her to give up her life to help us, but just some support would be nice. I must admit it did make me think of my parents and grand-parents again last night and wish I could turn back the clock, or change things so that they were here. Things would be so different.........
Oh well, one day my mother in law will realise what she has missed with her grand-children and at least I have learned one thing, which is to hope we will be good grand-parents and always there for our children.
(Haven't noticed any missed beats since late yesterday!!!Must change thoughts now so I don't trigger any, 14hours ectopic heartbeat free!!!:D)
Linda.xx
Linda.. You are amazing.
I am quite lucky really My mother-in-law is brill.
She sticks up for me more than her son AND is taking my daughter over to France for a couple of days in the Summer.
Don't worry about missing going to your Mums grave. I like you have lost my Mum. Been 6 years...haven't got a grave to go to cause they are still with us...in our hearts and our minds.
Don't know if your like me but I still speak to her( sometimes out loud but don't tell anyone).
Lost my Dad also 2 years ago. He still around as well.
Don't beat yourself up. As Sal says you have some time to prepare yourself.
Keep it up you are doing so well.
with good wishes
Zena
Hi Zena,
Thankyou for your reply, it was lovely and again, sent me goose bumpy!
It sounded so nice, when you said your parents are still with you. I like to think of mine looking after our little boy that we lost, Cory. I think that is why he was sent to us, so that I could pass him on to my parents as they hadn't seen either of my child in their lifetimes.
You are soooo lucky to have a caring mom in law. I see so many at work (my shop is a baby shop!) and sometimes wish I could adopt a nan!
You sound as though you are doing really well. Please feel free to PM anytime you want to talk.
Take care of yourself,
Linda.xx
Linda - who is this new positive lady?????
I am so pleased that hubby is now providing you with some support and as difficult as the episode with his mum was it will have highlighted to him all the things that you worry about and he took for granted.
I hope that your visit with Cory is peaceful one, that allows you some time to heal, reflect and move on.
You are one brave,classy lady...respect hun!
Hi Linda
How well you handled that. You felt sorry for your husband with how his mother treated him so there is so much there to build on. It is her loss and i dont think she is being fair at all but i have one just like her although it is my mother and i can see that and so can her son, my brother.
Pleased he is giving you support and you are being so positive and feeling okay. Hope this carries on and his mum realises that spending time with her grandchildren is fun and not a chore or an obstacle to push back to you.
Take care.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
Hi everyone,
I had put another post in the PANIC section and rambled on about the other stuff in there, too.
If you read it, you will see that my mother in law has been a total b**ch over the weekend and my poor hubby is really upset now. I real feel like phoning her and giving her a good talking to, but he doesn't want to do that. I face these sort of things head on - not that its ever done me any good, and wish I could do the same with my anxiety issues!!! - but he doesn't and will just leave it to fester. We probably won't hear from her or see her now for months and like you have all said, it is her loss. She should be enjoying her grandchildren not resenting looking after them. Example, when they are there, our 9 and a half year old daughter reads stories to our nearly 4year old, but can't read them too loud, cuz her nans watching the telly! For a start, she could at least read them a story!!!!
Oh dear, I am getting angry again now and will start to ramble about nonsense as usual.
On a positive note (for Angie, really, do I really sound positive now?) my shop had its best week ever last week so I hope things are going to carry on like that, there. It will just be a lot harder for me now, as she isn't going to help with the children. Who cares, we can do without her, if thats how she wants to be!!! I am taking the kids to my friends in Telford later, for the days. They are my family now, even though we are not blood related it doesn't matter because they have always been there for me. I don't know if I've said this before, but if we could, we would move to Telford because they would give us all the support we need and I could be there for them too. Maybe one day soon, we might be able to.
Feel like I'm repeating myself a bit, cuz of the other post in Panic, but I have to admit that I am still letting the ectopics take hold of me.
Take care all of you and speak to you soon.
Love, Linda.x
hi lin hope your ok........seems every time you start to get any where hurdles pop up but i think you seem to be getting over them ok and im sure everything will sort itself out in the end
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Hi,
I have got today off from work (I have closed the shop to have the day with the kids) but tomorrow is when the fun starts. What am I going to do? How can I leave them at the after school club for the next two weeks, is it totally unfair of me? I might have a friend, who lives in Birmingham, who will possibly come over and work in the shop for a few days although she will need to be trained and understand what shes doing (I sell everything from baby clothes to pushchairs, I am a mini Mothercare!!!) and so I need to find the time to do that. I don't want to get stressed and anxious over this as well, but I feel like I am neglecting the kids because I have to go to work. Its their school holidays and I should be spending time with them(they are still in bed at the moment, so not feeling guilty at being on here for once.LOL)
Looks like its one of my rambling posts again....also, I think I'm duplicating what I put because the post in Panic is very similiar to this, I think, so thank you for you all for putting up with me.
Got another counselling session in the morning, but don't think he is going to be able to help out with this problem. I'm probably just feeling down, and a bit alone, really because at the end of the day, I have never really had any support around me and I have always coped on my own. Ideally, as I've said b4 I need to move and live near my friend and life would be much better, for me and the kids.
Thanks for listening again.
Love, Linda.x
hi dont feel bad that you dont spend all your time with the kids,i bet they looking forward to the after school club anyway as all the activities and fun they will have, it makes the time they have with you much better too as you are not together 24/7 so all get some space and can share what you / they have done with the day it seems as parents we worry much more about how our kids feel when really theyre fine
in an ideal world you could move and be near your friend but as we know its far from ideal so we make the best of it you will get through this im sure
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
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