almost bed-bound and cant stop crying

[louwilliams]

Hi..again

I'm in such a mess-nearly everyday I have to go to bed for some reason or another-If its not one thing its another.

When i have these symptoms, I have to get myself to bed-This is my safety zone and where I feel that I can cope with all of it.

I have a few major symptoms-ectopics and chest pains, head zaps and stomach issues.

The stomach issues are kind of sorting themselves out-i've been put on ranitidine and this seems to have lessened the "adreneline" knot churning my stomach up everyday.

The head zaps are always in exactly the same place-I have posted about this before-obviously I am convinced its a tumour or something sinister thats at any moment will go POP in my head.

The major one that worries me the most thought is the ectopics. I dont have them everyday thank god but they are regular enough to scare the crap out of me. I dont smoke, or drink caffine or alcohol so I dont know what triggers it. For instance I was stood in the queue at Woolworths yesterday morning and I had a massive one and I literally dropped everything and left to get home to bed ASAP. Last night I was in the bath and as soon as I lay down to wash my hair WHAM..there they were again-forcing me to get out of the bath with dripping hair and get to bed (at 7.30pm)

They scare me so much-I dont know what to do when they happen-ive had countless ECG's and theyve all come back normal-i'm booked to have a 24hr ECG in the next couple of weeks but wont find out the results until 1st May-ive just had enough of it now-i cant stop crying because i'm so worried-I read a lnk on here the other day to explain about ectopics and just wanted a bit of re-assurance but upon reading it it said that "sometimes ectopics can be fatal" so I completely freaked out and have now convinced myself that mine will be and i'm just waiting to die. Because I get the chest pains too (sometimes central or left side) I dont even believe the doctor anymore when he said they are harmless-how does he know without checking it or properly? I just cant get past the fact that they may be harmless-I will be one of the few whose are fatal. Ive read all the posts about ectopics and I know other worry about them but I'm getting no re-assurance from anywhere anymore-i'm having CBT but she just seems to make a joke of it when I said I go to bed when it happens-she said "was that on doctors orders? if you have a fatal heart condition, get to bed and that will make it better" i now why she said it-to make me realise how ridiculous it is but i cant help it. I'm only 32, I have 2 children and i keep visualising them growing up without me. I'm feel like crying writing this.

[jellybean43]

Hi
Aww I am sooo sorry you are having such a bad time.
I honestly do understand as I have really bad health anxiety at the moment(I wont go in to it but if you read my posts you will get the picture!!!).
I really think that you are suffering anxiety ----I had it really bad back in 1986 after the birth of my second child. I was always worrying about my kids growing up without me(and hey they ae 22 and 25 now and i am still here!!!).
I would try and not go to bed----really talk yourself out of it. Try distracting yourself--watching something funny on the telly with the kids, putting on some of your favourite music, ring a friend----anything to stop you thinking about how bad you are feeling.
I am sending you hugs---sorry i cant be more help but if it does help i know what you are going through and anxiety is an awful thing
Take care xxx

[Emira7]

Hey Lou

Firstly massive hugs hunny......

I have had 1 ECG due to having ectopics and the odd episodes of a few palpitations and I still get scared that my ECG was read incorrectly.

I went through a stage of going to bed at silly times, as it was the only thing I knew how to do to calm myself down.
I am 29 and have 2 children and have been absolutely beside myself that they will grow up without me.

I so know how your feeling and I wish I could be there to give you a big hug right now.
As far as I understood Ectopics are not dangerous, just a nuicense. And as you have had ECG's surely that must tell you that your heart is OK. Easier said than done I know hunny, as I doubt things all the time.

Big hugs and much love to you......



Em
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[bottleblond]

Me darlin Lou Lou :flowers:

I really want to start off by giving you a massive hug gal :bighug1:

Ok HEALTH ANXIETY....it's stinks, it's cruel, it's scarey and it's down right damn unfair.

These chest pains you have been having hun are the EXACT same as mine. I also take ranitidine. When i first started having them (three years ago now) i was convinced it was my heart, i just knew i was just gonna drop down with a heart attack, they was no doubt of it in my mind. I was told the pains i was having were NOT heart pains but nope i didn't believe a word of it, so on and on and on i worried till one day i noticed they had gone. Then and only then did i believe it was not heart pains. I still get it but it seems to come in phases now, but it always goes away again.

Ectopics!! Got to be one of the most common, yet frightening symptoms of anxiety. I recon if you had to do a survey on this site and ask how many of us get them, you'd probably be talking more than 90%. Sweety you got to trust these ECG's, seriously, the wouldn't all be wrong.

Head zaps..stress, anxiety, tension can effect every part of us, from our heads to our toes, cause all sorts of aches and pains. Trust me Lou, nothings gonna go pop in your head.

Your a fit young healthy mum, like zillions of us hun, anxiety/health anxiety got a tight grip on you at the moment but i promise it WILL pass. Don't you make me get that chamber pot back off Shay, ewwwww can you imagine!!!?

Please please please try to realx a bit mate. Your a fab person and a good mate and you gonna be just fine!!

Heaps of love to you
Lisa
xxxxxxxxx :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

[jack76]

very familiar.... i have had it ll too.,ranitidine, ECG's headaches and covinced im either going to die of a heart attack or the tumour will get me.

still hav it now and can convine myself im not going to die

i hate it, it is cruel and definately no fair.......

you will be fine mate stick with it

[louwilliams]

thanks for your replies guys....Lisa yours made me cry ye swine :lac:

Its just so hard when everyday is like a battle. I have so much going on at the minute that I dont seem to be getting anywhere even though I try so hard. I have no support from anywhere or anyone except when i'm on here but then I get told off for coming on here as all i'm doing is "reinforcing my illness" apparently (by my partner....the expert......NOT) and "talking to my funny friends again"

Anyway,, not gonna go on another rant...just wanted to say thanks :flowers:

LOU xxxxxxx

[jodie]

hiya lou :hugs:

poor you ..reading this post reminds me of how i used to be with ectopics and still am at times i know how crap it is and how going to bed is the only way you feel safe.
i used to think shall i go to hospital and most the time i did go they would do tests and send me home saying your fine just ectopics grrrr i hated the fact that they didnt think i felt ill enough to help me but now i know that the worst part about ectopics is how they feel i have had a heart scan done and other tests and they all came back ok i had a good chat with the heart doc i asked him at any point was my life at risk with ectopics and he sead no i was going to be fine they just dont feel nice i asked when i get 2or 3 at a time was that bad he agane sead no i would be fine, i still get them a lot ...more when i am tired or stressed or when it is that time of the month :wacko:

anyway i am sure you will be ok i have had em 10 years now i am still alive .
if ever you want a chat or feel down just pm me if you want :hugs:

jodie xx

[louwilliams]

Thanks Jodie,
Ive got a 24hr tape booked for 25th april and I see the cardiologist 1st may but i'm worrying myself sick that he''ll tell me its something serious or sinister. I've even started avoiding certain foods now-i heard that sometimes too many carbs can give you them or sugarry stuff-its really dictating so many areas of my life, including my kids lives now (i wont go on school trips with them anymore or even to see them sing sometimes (they are in the school choir and go round places singing) and feel so unsupportive and i'm letting them down) Its getting the better of me and I dont know how to stop it. i just need a definate answer from the doctor and some definitive re-assurance

Lou xxx

[jodie]

lou

i am just the same or have been not so bad now .
i put off going on holiday coz mine were worse when i was away at ngiht ,i put of going in the car for a ride out coz i think we had been to york one week and i had ectopics realy bad on the way there .
i can not tell you why or how i have got to were i am with them now only that when i get them (i have a lot of them tongiht ) i try and not think about them i think ok i have had them befor i get them all the time i look for why i know i have been ill with flu i have worked a lot today ect ,i know for sure it is all in the mind and how you deal with them when you are not scared of them anymore they become easy to live with but it is getting to the point in not being scare that is the hard bit .
i do know were you are coming from as far as they run your life coz i lived like that for years and still wont go away on holliday or if i do i hate it and panic lots last year i came home early i was that scared and got ectopics the whole time grr

jodie xxx

[Emira7]

Hey Lou

My partner thinks that as well, that I make myself worse from coming on here. I don't believe for a minute thats true. Because although i have real bad days, when i come on here i get the support and friendship i need. Plus i can sometimes help other people with my experience.
In short I believe I am better now than I was before, plus where else can you meet like minded folk like us!

Anyway, I hope you are feeling a little better
xx

[margaret911]

Hi Lou
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you, sending you hugs:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and hope these eptopics ease off soon.
lots of love
Mags xxxxx

[bottleblond]

Lou Lou soz sweety, didn't mean to make you cry but your a good friend and i had to say me bit lass :biggrin:.


Ok i have been on here alot today and i have heard over and over again how some peeps partners ect downgrade the site blah blah blah....

here's why!! because we ALL understand eachother here, where they can only surmise what we are feeling, going through on a daily basis. ok fair do's to that...they may not understand, because like most things, it's something you would have to go through yourself to really understand. But there is a difference here as they may not understand fully but could support your choice to come here to talk, get reasurance, understanding and hope. If your not getting that support, and are being made to

think coming here is wrong then that's a very selfish poop attitute. certainly not what we need to make us stronger.

Partners on not, we are all here to support each other so lets stick that way eh? :winks: :yesyes:
:bighug1:

Loads of love
Lisa
xxxxxxxxxx

erm soz, that was my rant lol

[Worrier]

Hey Lou,

Wow reading your post really hit home with me. About 5 years ago the palpitations came on with avengeance and for 4 1/2 months I went to work (don't know how) and then cried all night at home. Finally couldn't take it anymore and went to docs (which took all the strength I had as I am completely afraid of docs). Was there 4 hours, ECG etc etc and put me on Lexapro. Within a week, palps had gone.

While I was having the palps, I was afraid to go to sleep in case I died while sleeping and the pains in my chest were so frightening.

I completely get where you are coming from and know it is very difficult to deal with.

I would be happy to talk anytime you need to. If you see me in Chat please pm me.

Take care and know that this will get better.

Natalie

[gigi1173]

Hi Lou,

I am sorry you are feeling so badly... I was diagnosed with severe anxiety/panic disorder 4 years ago. My first panic attack landed me in the hospital. After that, I suffered very badly from health anxiety... all the same symptoms as yours & then some on a daily basis. (I won't share because if you read about the symptoms I had, you will get them for sure... plus the list is too long!) I was constantly at my primary care physicians office thinking I had some terrible deadly problem... I didn't beleive that all the symptoms I had could be suffered from anxiety alone. I went to Dr after Dr & had test after test & they all came back fine. Thank god! :) While going through all of this, I avoided going to certain places, I didn't want to go to work, etc... all I wanted to do was stay in my "safe place" & if I did have an attack while out, I had to make a break for it to get home... I too slept a lot as sleeping took all my cares away... I couldn't watch real tv, news, or even the Soprano's because ANYTHING would trigger my emotions... I watched a lot of cartoons... lol. I started group therapy, seeing a psychologist, acupuncture, yoga, biofeedback..deep diaphramatic breathing... basically, I didn't want to go on meds because I didn't want to take a pill to make me function on a daily basis... I also didn't want to feel like a zombie... so I was praying that something would help me.... eventually I had to go on meds because I was in such bad shape... my ex-fiance literally had to shove it down my throat... I am so sorry that I waited so long to do so. The beginning was hard, but it got easier as the meds began to work. I still suffer from Anxiety & panic & health anxiety, but most of the time I am able to keep it under control...it's really only a little unbearable when I get my period & even then, it's nothing compared to what it was... thank god for Paxil CR. I take 37.5mg a day & Xanax as needed... I still go to the Psychiatrist to this day for medication management & I still have my good days & my bad days... but the bad days are few & far inbetween & I am so thankful. I will have to take meds for the rest of my life but I just tell myself that if I was diabetic, I would take meds, if I had high blood pressure, I would take meds & that makes it easier for me. We are just all people who are more sensitive to the environment than others & more worried than others... it does get easier... trust me. Are you taking any meds? If so, how long? Would you consider taking them? If you do, I would HIGHLY recommend seeing a reputable psychiatrist... preferably a woman since they are more compassionate (no offense guys, just an observation) If your primary care Dr gives you meds, chances are, they are going to start you off at too high a dose... you have to start small & build up. Trust me, that I know for sure. Also, maybe you would benefit from some psychological treatment... nothing wrong with it... it does help... this way, you can talk about the problems & maybe there is a root to them. I am realizing now at 34, that my problems started when I was a child. Also, you can try deep diaghramatic breathing & tensing of your muscles starting at your toes... tense each individial musle...moving all the way up your body repeat 2x while breathing in through your nose & out through your mouth slowly... it is very relaxing...you could even close your eyes & picture your fingers & toes as faucets & all of the anxiety is pouring out... o.k. sometimes easier said than done, but it helpd... also, try to avoid caffeine, chocolate, alchohol... you know, the good stuff for a while... I drank chamomille tea a lot... I found it to be very soothing... also, hot showers or baths help to relax as well... you could also try nature sounds... perhaps something with water... this is a terrible thing to go through but if we all stick together & help one another, we can get through it... hang in there... if you want to talk, you can email me @ gigi1173@optonline.net anytime & I mean that.

Hugs & kisses
Jeannie

[gigi1173]

Hi Lisa, I just wanted to say thank you for your help yesterday... you are a person like myself with lots of experience with anxiety... we all just need some reassurance sometimes...
xoxo
Jeannie

[louwilliams]

gigi, I was on 10mg cipralex but came off them a short while ago and have decided to go back on them. I also have diazepam 2mg for emergencies. I've been having CBT for about 6 months but nothing seems to be making any difference. I just feel like ive had enough of it all-everything and everyone seems to be against me-even my own father takes the piss out of me and runs around clutching his chest saying "oh my heart my heart" when i get bad. its just a joke to everyone else and even though i wouldnt wish this on anyone, I would like to see how they all coped with just one day of it.

thanks for your replies xxxxxxxxx

[kellie]

awwwwwww lou hun im so sorry you are not to good at the moment. what is wrong with your so called family :mad: :ohmy: :mad: :ohmy: :mad: . please try to ignore there pathetic immaturity. im thinking of you and sending you lots of positive vibes that this bad spell passes for you soon. :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: .
you know im here if you need to talk or have a good rant .
love and hugs
kellie .xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[jodie]

hiya lou

hope you are feeling a bit better

:bighug1: :bighug1:

jodie xx