A bit about me!

[xxHonetBeexx]

Social phobia, this is what im most scared of!

I left my job 6 yrs ago as I was getting panic/anixey attacks at work n couldnt handle it at all. thing graduly got worse.

Then Leaving the house, talking to ppl face to face, at this moment in time, I will do everything to avoid people I know and talking to them, even my close friends. This has gotworse since last sep time and getting worse by the day.

I hate being outdoors, hate shopping, at my worse I didnt leave my house, my son had to be taken to sch by Taxi which our loacl council paid for I couldnt face sch, or anything.

Over time things have chaged ive been better at times & had a jobs.

Also over the years ive had CBT paid for by family, councling, medacation(most I tried made me ill) im not good with meds full stop and always though to myself its only papering over the cracks. time passed I tried one last time with meds, and with the CBT all was ok for a few years by this I mean I left the house to go shopping with a friend and managed to take my son to school. Which was the bigest goal for me.

My son missed out on day trips when he was youger & I was a single parent so it was only me around, I was riddled with guilt and used to beat myself about this. ( and probaly over compansate now) .

Sorry am I rambling! lol there is so much to write, I cant get down fast enough! ha ha

I havent had a social life in 6 years, I cant remember the last time I went out to a pub/Club (im 28).

im currently not working, but keeping active doing a course from home and endless amount of cleaning!

I suffer from depression, PA, AA & social phobia with a little OCD thrown in! I im anxious most the time, get PA once very week/two weeks.

Right I will stop now! lol :yesyes:

T x x

[xxHonetBeexx]

How do ppl manage there social phobia? any tips that work for you? Im willing to give everything a try.

I take vitamins everyday B complex, B12, vegi omega 3&6 when I can afford it.

[xxHonetBeexx]

Also! I popped into the chat rooms to ask anyone if they had Acupunture, & some sugested hypnotherpy-im on the case already , Ive been e-mailing a few to get prices& see when I can make a appt. Fingers crossed!

Im going to ring my local Menth heath centre(im doing a workshop with the at the moment)although its quite hard for me & the same stuff I already know but hey its worth a try! im going to ask anout Mindfulness CBT so thanks again for that x x x

[xxHonetBeexx]

Good morning!

When im out or do leave the house, I feel sp crap everyday, I cant remeber the lsat time I felt normal! I sweat, get palpatations,blush, legs either go to jelly, or just feel like lead & I cant move them.

I get majour paranoia,I hate ppl looking at me, and ive alway gor it in my head ppl are looking me, which sned me off!

Some times I feel ive left the house with no trouser on! Ive havnt a clue where these thoughts have come from! I feel such a freak!

I cant talk to my friends as they havent not got a clue what a PA orAA feels like. Some times ive tried to sum it up, but on a whole its no good! ad i feel like I dont want to ore them with my worries.

I recently got married, with no one at my wedding apart from kids, I couldnt handle ppl even close friedns n family.

before all this happened, I was a happy(with a bit of depperssion) went out enjoyed my life to the full, always out with family.

[rach****]

Hi, Hope you are well. I am having acupuncture this week hopefully tomorrow so i'll let you know how I get on. I have also tried self hypnosis which I found good until I got a perforated ear drum and infection which has affected my balance. I would recommend you try self hypnosis as it really calms me down I think it's fab. :yesyes:

[xxHonetBeexx]

Thanks for that Rach! Ive got a appt next week with DR to put me back on meds as I feel im losing the plot!

[rach****]

I know what you're going through hun. I am struggling at the minute with not wanting to leave the house... It's terrible. I had worked my way up to supermarket shopping and shopping centres etc before xmas I even walked round london and went in to busy clubs so I know I can do it again as can you. It takes time and it's not easy and it's horrible that now I can't even go in our local shop without feeling terrified but i'll get back to normal whatever that may be! Good luck x x :yesyes:

[Mystical]

Good on ya girls,

I'm a retired therapist who is recovering from colliding with a lighting column - one of those high concrete ones - you know the sort; it put me in hospital for a short time but six months later I found myself trapped by social anxiety... and it ain't the minor ailment some ppl make it out to be; it is a full-blown emotional issue and one that is difficult to get aoround without help. I'm lucky... the OT got me to the point where I can go to the local ASDA or TESCO but I always drive there in the late evening and know there'll only be a very few folk about.... maybe just the shelf-fillers who will be too busy to notice my anxious presence in the store? But what I really want to share is last night's achievement; I drove the longest distance since the crash in summer 2007, and coming back was easier than going; I was able to talk to my friends - they are about my only friends who understand the way I am - and to a degree that felt good.... well better than things had for a very long time. THe Hypnosis you talk about can and does ease things down some - I am a qualified Hypnotherpaist so I would say that, wouldn't I? But no it really can work for some people bringing about a new kind of confidence that allows them to reintegrate themselves into a a fuller relationship with the society we avoid. Accupuncture has the same effect for some people; I guess it depends on the individual and the amount of trust etc.... again I'm lucky in that folk trust me with their innermost fears and doubts, the removal of which often make the presence of social anxiety much more easy to deal with on a day to day basis; yet I am still in the throes of dealing with the same situation and losing where they are winning with my help! Hard to understand but it is the truth of matters.

I met one of my past-clients only the other day and she had taken up several hobbies and pastimes which before were way beyond her abilities to cope with. 'I have some of my paintings on exhibition,' she happily told me... not knowing that once my own dabblings at art college would have graced some exhibition or other. Yet there I was, marvelling at what she now could do when on presenting herself for treatment, was unable to do more than enter and get out out of the taxi she hired to come to the clinic. What does this mean for you two ladies? I'm sure I don't exactly know; what I do know is that there are more people walking the streets with social anxieties than I ever believed. I note the mannerisms and feel an empathy with the individiuals I am observing. I also watch the achievements of some and am determined one day to be on their heels instead of sharing their hells. Just so that you know, you are being taken seriously when you share your experiences of social anxiety.... Mystically yours

[Hope 2]

Hi there folks :D

Fascinating thread , got me thinking !

T .... I can relate to lots of what you said in yr initial post . I am loads better with coping with things regarding my child these days too , but I am still wracked with guilt , for the past and the present ! I think u have done SO fabulously to get to where u r now , really brill to hear :yesyes: .

Although I don't have social anxiety as such , I have a lot in common with what has been said with regards to my feelings . My social life is limited cos of ocd really but I do have , and always have had , an overwhelming sense of not belonging .

Before ocd got in the way , people always had me down as the life and soul / party animal type :blush: , but inside I felt completely inadequate , still do , in these situations . It was only the booze that gave me the bottle pardon the pun he he .

Mystical , I am so with you on what you are saying . Being on the 'other side' of things is a real eye opener , but I feel we become better for it . We do see the good in others much easier than we do ourselves it is alien to pat ourselves on the back when we have little self worth . When folk seem to be having such an easy old time of it , taking things for granted like ........... not losing the plot at the thought of going to Asda (been there , done that lol ) , it makes us feel even more of an outcast . When we see it from a different perspective it kinda brings comfort to know we aint actually that exclusive if u see wot I mean . This very thread and others' words have brought me just that so cheers guys ! I just wanted to (try) to offer a different angle really , that is to say that although I may look like I am okay ......... I live for the day that I finally feel like I fit in .............. I crave a sense of belonging . I hope I haven't said anything out of order here :unsure: .

I think we could start a club !
Love and care to u all
Hope xx

[HappyHayley]

Hi everyone
Message to Honetbee from another thread. 14 years is a long time I know. How has it affected my life? Well I can probably say that my panic/anxiety has moulded my life I suppose but in some ways I think it has made me the person I am. I had hypnotherapy for two years, cost me a fortune!! In my fourteen years I have re-trained to work in education, got married (had a massive wedding), had a little boy (who is now 8). All the usual stuff. On a day to day I get through. I have good and bad days. Today is particulary good. I think you learn to adapt around you anxiety (something I am trying to get away from). I have made myself a promise that everyday I am going to do something that ordinarily I would shy away from, public transport, driving somebody in my car, supermarkets etc etc. I am determined that the next fourteen years are going to be of my doing and not moulded by anxiety!!

[xxHonetBeexx]

I have just read you r post! with a tear in my eye!

Im so open to tey new things, beat this! I know I cant let this rule my life anymore, ive sufferd my family have suffered, my hubbie is but most of all my child, whom I love and cheerish with all my heart.

Im fed up with him having a poorly mummy, to scared to go out and enjoy life, my last 6 yrs has mostly been soul destroying for me.

I cant go on like this, im hoping finding this site, along with nautral remedys and the Will power things will change. It has to , well it cant get worse.

thank you all for you kind words and telling me your stories, I dont feel so alone.

Today I met with friends something I havent done in months, even they said how "detatched" I was. I will feel normal(ish) one day! lol

x x x

[fifi]

Please don't ever give up... I know at times it feels like social phobia rules your life, that there's no-way out, but, it does get better.

I suffered for a good 9 years, feeling like crap, not feeling as good as everybody else, different, abnormal, unable to form close friendships for fear of intimacy, redening face, feeling I must keep the conversation going at all times, terrified at times of even facing my neighbours. I know that feeling of laying at bed in night thinking I can't cope, face another day feeling like this, opportunities missed, desperately wanting to speak out but terrified of doing so. Worrying all the time of the impact it was having on my children and the damage it would eventually cause them by having a mother that never socialised, always worried about what everybody else was thinking of me.

And I can't say what it was exactly that changed my thinking or how I changed my perspective on myself or that I am totally 100% cured, but I do know that it is becoming a lot easier. I know have a good circle of friends, who have known me as an acquaintance for a long time but in the past due to my inability to let go, forever putting up barriers, always worried about what they were thinking of me, it never got any further than this. I have always had one friend who has always believed in me and although when our friendship first started I was still very guarded, slowly over time I opened up to her more and more and guess what!.. she still liked me. And although this has been an incredibly slow process it did eventually give me the confidence to be more myself with other people. And you realise once you really let go and start talking to other people, is that we all have the same fears, even people that you percieve as incredibly confident have their own insecurities and worries of being liked and how they come across. And people talk a lot of crap.. it's not always relevant, or cool but you can bet that they don't go home and internalise and disect all that they have said and then further beat themseves up about it.

I guess it comes down to self belief and I have noticed with myself that the biggest critic has always been me. And even now, tiredness, feeling under the weather, stress, all lowers my mood and makes me more receptive to the negative way of thinking but slowly I'm turning things around, accepting myself for who I am and for the first time in years finding my voice again. I'm not sure that I'll ever totally be free of SA but it is becoming more manageable and with each day my confidence grows just that bit more.