View Full Version : Anybody want to share their stories about how their anxiety started?
Anybody want to share their stories about how their anxiety started?
Oh boy....how long you got?:D
I think my post titled "my story" covers mine.:hugs:
I a bit of a 'nervous' person though I do distinctly remember it was a few weeks after my eldest sons birth, we were walking along a narrow pavement when juggernaught came up behind us, mounted the pavement and missed us by millimeteres. Then a few weeks later, we narrowly missed being hit by a car whilst on a crossing. From that moment I started to panic before going out and especially if we were out and I knew there was a lorry behind us.
I managed to come to terms with it during my late 20's, early 30's then when I was 35, I found out a few things which pointed to the fact my husband was having an affair ......... my worst nightmare! I was compelled by the panic attacks to check up on his every movement ..... I analysed everything he said etc. this went on for about 6 months before we both had enough and he moved out. We eventually divorced and I later found out that I was right about the affair and not "bonkers, paranoid and needing a psychiatrist" as my ex told me.
I did move on from that and was panic free (with medication) for 7 years but now I seem to be here again, having trouble at work and facing the sack. I think the biggest thing I panic about is uncertainty and I know nothings for sure but I guess thats the basis of my problem ........ in a nutshell I reckon!
I'd love to read others stories, it really helps to realise I'm not here alone and others know exactly how I feel.
Take care all
Sue :D
xxHonetBeexx
10-04-08, 18:08
Hi,
Mine started for a whole lot of reasons I think, I was with a violent partner for many years, broke free, dabble in drugs for a year, worked my arse off juggling being a mother,working and partying took its toll. I moved area didnt see any old friends for a while, all this was a shock to the system, had personal problems with family members which I dotn really want to go in to. This alone affected me really bad before the PA & AA started.
So thats it in a nutshell, I dont go out, I dont do drugs ,I dont smoke. Im not really living anymore.
Im not the person I was.
:D hi sasha and sue - mine is the same as yours sue, in respect of certainty - i think this plays a big part in anxiety.
my story is also too long to condense - i remember being 'highly strung' always! and i was told i was before i can remember! so from birth then!
first real trouble was in first year seniors when i started to feel the uneasy feeling that something 'bad' could happen - this centred around nuclear war and unbeknown to me we were still in the cold war - which now explains why we had a raymond briggs cartoon about it an dwhy it was constantly in the media!!!! probably similar to global warming being talked about today - for some kids it will poss be a trigger? my daughter has been concerned but seems to have been able to deal with it okay? hope this isnt a sign of the future?
next time it affected me was in 4th year senior when i was taking my options and had had a stressful summer, feeling anxious alot! i felt really worked up about watching a horror film id seen even though id seen quite a few before:ohmy: -and i had wormed my way out of going to alton towers with friends on a coach due to this continued weird feeling - then had first panic attack as was sat in the front of a class full of boys in geographyand i had panicks in assembly.had a little break down and had six months off school which i think was the worst possible thing to do - i never did get back to that geography class, and i was ridiculed by certain ppl:mad: but i stayed on another year after the 5th year and got 7 gcses- so my time at school was still productive which goes to showhow we can feel anxious and acheive:yesyes: pretty much on/off from then i have suffered in some way. sometimes more with depression and others with anxiety and sometimes with both. i had 2 years free when my mum was sick - odd? and then 2 years free when i took prozac - which is not to say i agree that meds are a long term solution - i think they are okay if there is no other option and you are chronic without understanding why? but i didnt feel like me and i had no emotion for those 2 years, which is unnatural. so you could say im one of the people on nmp who was probably born like this - but i intend not to die like this as i think we can change:yesyes:
When I was 16 I was in an English lesson and a girl I fancied caught me staring at her. Later in the same lesson, the teacher talked about how the "eyes are the windows to the soul", and went around the class staring at us each in turn. You couldn't make up a coincidence like that! Anyway, I freaked out when he came to me, and subsequently developed a phobia about eye contact, which morphed into more general social phobia over the years.
That said, this didn't come "from nowhere" - I'd been pretty miserable and withdrawn and anxious since I hit puberty.
I agree Francis, all anxiety and panic is lernt. When I think right back, I think it came from my mum. She was pretty nervous herself and being an only child, wrapped me in cottonwool. Whenever I went out she always told me to take care that I didnt get hit by a car ......... all seems pretty normal but boy, she used to go on! and on and on a bit more! She would panic if I were 10 minutes late coming home and come looking for me. I dont blame her in the slightest. I think maybe i'm oversensitive to others feelings and take things too seriously.
Sue :D
Well for a start, emotional problems run in the family, so maybe it was only a matter of time before I was effected by them? But what started the ball rolling with me was when I was nineteen, and trying to get my head around death. Yes, I know, some things are best left alone, but I was inquisitive, and needed to know the answer. Unfortunately though, through thinking about it in great detail, I put myself into a deep panic, followed by a major depression. Not a very clever thing to do, and I advise people not to delve into things to deeply, just accept them. I'm OK now, but I wasted forty years of my life with anxiety, depression, OCD, and you name it, I've had it.
I agree Francis, all anxiety and panic is lernt. When I think right back, I think it came from my mum. She was pretty nervous herself and being an only child, wrapped me in cottonwool. Whenever I went out she always told me to take care that I didnt get hit by a car ......... all seems pretty normal but boy, she used to go on! and on and on a bit more! She would panic if I were 10 minutes late coming home and come looking for me. I dont blame her in the slightest. I think maybe i'm oversensitive to others feelings and take things too seriously.
Sue :D
My dad was just like that! Every single bl**dy time my brother and I left the front door he'd say, "Be careful crossing the road", as though we didn't have the sense we were born with. He was still doing it when we were 14 or 15. And he still tells me not to drive long distances after about 4 o'clock in the afternoon because he thinks I'll be too tired!
(You can probably spot where some of my obsessive tendencies come from!)
I think it's too easy to blame one's parents for one's personality defects - it was very fashionable for a while but I think anxiety is probably more due to genes. My parents are both anxious and to be honest I think it was inevitable that I'd have problems :) It's why I've decided I'll never have children myself.
Well for a start, emotional problems run in the family, so maybe it was only a matter of time before I was effected by them? But what started the ball rolling with me was when I was nineteen, and trying to get my head around death. Yes, I know, some things are best left alone, but I was inquisitive, and needed to know the answer. Unfortunately though, through thinking about it in great detail, I put myself into a deep panic, followed by a major depression. Not a very clever thing to do, and I advise people not to delve into things to deeply, just accept them. I'm OK now, but I wasted forty years of my life with anxiety, depression, OCD, and you name it, I've had it.
Tom,
I don't think you can talk of having "wasted forty years of your life". A tendency to anxiety I think is something one has to live with and manage - you can't just put it down to one incident.
I seem to be drawn to morbid subjects and I've definitely delved too deep into things I didn't have the strength to confront (the occult). On the one hand, I wish I'd never done it, but on the other, there are some things that only experience can teach - if I hadn't done what I did I'd still be wondering about it, and still intending to "get round to it". From that point of view it was probably inevitable :\
F
:hugs: :winks: :D :yesyes: hi guys, the real truth is nobody KNOWS conclusively why anybody suffers anxiety disorders - its still being studied:yesyes:
it COULD be genetic, it COULD be learnt, it COULD be circumstances?????
personally i dont agree with not thinking about things - i was told by a certain family member of mine for years and years that i 'thought' too much!!!
i always 'felt' this was strange, but this person seemed to deal with life so much better than me (so i thought, boy was i wrong!) and my self-esteem through suffeing anxiety was in my boots - i felt like a freak!!!!
anyway, i got over this bull from this person the more i actually learnt about anxiety disorders, and only a couple of years ago i read 'the road less travelled' and i was chuffed to bits to read that people like the one who told me not to think too much are unfortunately 'stupid' - sorry can thtink of a better word:blush: not stupid but not interested in going on the inward journey that so many of US seem to be on because of our anxiety? but the guy says that it is impossible not to think - so i was doing what came natural so were you tom!:yesyes: and this can be alonely road to travel? but id rather be the thinker than the person who just bumbles through life riding rough shod over people, never giving a second thought to why they act like they do?
i was also 'molly coddled' out of 3 girls and neither of my sisters has 'anxiety' yet one of my neices said ' i hope i dont get it? you dont think ill get it do you?' and i said 'why should you get it?' and she said 'because it runs in the family':shrug: i am the only family memeber to havce been affected to this degree, my mum may have had a lack of confidence and she did take ativan for years and years, but she was a single parent to 3 and living in atime when doctors gave out benzos like they were sweets - creating problems that werent initially there - being drug addiction and withdrawal:mad: if youd said to her do you wan to go on holiday to florida she would have said YES! if youd said doyou wan tot go to the pub, the theatre or for a meal dhe would have said YES! she didnt suffer the way i did although she was neurotic about her kids safety.
so i dont beleive in not thinking too deeply but i do beleive in finding ways to deal with what you think and to channel this tendency to sensitivity to positive means - any one of us could train to do counselling or do a pshycology degree or do voluntary work - if you are sensitive the list is endless of the ways you can put it to use - you can even be your freinds and families agony aunt, people will love and appreciate you for listening and not judging? i want to celebrate our sensitivity not try to suppress it! we think that everyone has their lives sorted who dont suffer with anxiety - but if you stop thinking about your self and put your attention to other people you find that despite the fact they dont suffer chronic anxiety they still suffer and because of your inner knowledge you can be there for them!:hugs:
hi all well it would take me allday to tell of my probs but to cut it very short i think growing up my parents were very cold and although never horrible i never felt loved i was never hugged or given attention and part of that was because my dad was old fansioned and mum just cant deal with emotions and is not the huggy type, even now if i have a problem and even start to tell her she will change subject as quick as possible and doesnt want to deal with anything as long as she thinks im ok then thats fine, also they were so strict and over protective and i could never go anywhere, so right from school i hated being on my own and paniced, i lacked confidence. as i got older and met my husand at 18 he wanted to do be there all the time and i kind of pushed him away which is odd looking back but moving on too now at 33 i crave his attention and need loads of hugs and love giving them back but i am terrified of being alone if he was not around, we dont see any family i only see my parents occationaly even though we speak on phone its only really cos of the kids, my nan died 3 years ago she was my rock and my auntie who i was close to growing up met a abusive man and told me to either accept him or go away and i didnt want to see her hurt as i loved her loads but she wouldnt listen and although we speak its never been the same, close friends have taken advantage when i have let my barriers down and opened up i have found out they were never really my friend and they have really only wanted something or used me, i am very genuine and a real people person but i just dont trust people now and its making me so angry bitter and sad, but worst of all i dont want to be alone with no one if i need someone, sometimes i have to be so strong for my kids and not show them i am cracking its really hard i wish i could get all this rubbish and anger out my head. well there u go haha sorry if it makes no sense, once i started i couldnt stop :hugs: to all, any advice would be great
Lilith1980
11-04-08, 13:15
I'm not really sure how mine started.
I remember when I was about 8, sitting up in my bed just crying endlessly because I was scared of my family dying, having intrusive thoughts about them dying. I dont know if that was anxiety.
It became more apparent when I was about 14. I just started worrying about whether people liked me, whether I had said anything to upset them, whether I had spoken in the wrong tone of voice. I also developed an obessession with shutting my bedroom door a certain way and setting my radio alarm over and over again until I pressed the buttons "right" :wacko:
My Dad died when I was 13 so I'm not sure if that could have triggered if off, but it was a year later. I guess these things can take time to manifest themselves.
At this time I seemed to become very conscious of how I looked as well. I thought I had a bit of a belly. It wasnt until 7 years later that I became anorexic but other events "drove" me to that.
I reckon it was the trauma of my father passing away and the abuse by my uncle that probably triggered my anx off.
Jo xxxxx
I remember having nightmares as a kid of being alone and my parents leaving me in the house alone. I remember the version of our house had no windows and was cold and bare and these large hands were trying to grab me by reaching in two opposite windows at once and i kept in the middle of the house trying to stay away from these hands. I also remember that when my parents drove off they were laughing and happy and it was on a summer night and was light. I used to be afraid of the curtains moving swearing that there was someone behind the curtains. I was quite a sensitive kid. I used to like being by myself. I played quietly for hours.As I grew I spent more time trying to fit in with groups of people just to win popularity. I developed a shake when writing when people were watching me which developed in to a shake when being watched doing anything that needed a steady hand. As life happened and the responsibilities did too , three kids, a wife and a terminally ill parent the anxiety peaked and i blew. the rest is history.
Mee
freakedout
12-04-08, 02:40
This is a really interesting post, especially peoples perceptions of what might cause or contribute to their anxiety and other problems.
I believe there are internal factors such as genetics, family pre-disposition, evolutionary influences such as fight or flight response to fear, environmental factors, social factors personality type etc. The list goes on really.
I had what could be described as nervous behaviour as a very young child and a lot of my childhood and early adulthood I was running on adrenaline. An accumulation of events in my life, including some stressful events made me question the meaning of life/death and triggered anxieties that I believe were lying in wait for years. The steady increase in symptoms and progression to avoidance has just resulted in more life changing events.
I dont know really what to make of it all. I thought there must be a key to my problems and that if I could discover what caused them then I could get better, but the more time that passes the more detached I feel from my life. I dont think knowing the cause would facilitate a cure. I think my past belonged to someone else, and my present and future are a hopeless situation, and I find it difficult to come to terms with who I am now.
Will stop there. I am rambling. Great post.
Freaky
"I'd let myself go but I've already gone"
Mine came from smoking a "laced" joint at the age of 18.
That was 37 yrs ago and it's still with me.
Phill :shades:
:) hi, - freakedout, im really sorry that you feel this way at the moment, especially as you seem to have come to some very helpful conclusions about your relationship with your anxiety.
i go on alot on here about NOPANIC the charity in telford, shropshire. i like alot of members have been probably a life long sufferer - reading back over some of the posts i remembered being 'scared' as a child, especially of someone being in the house - a burgler or a murderer - just one point though we were alone with our mum and my dad lived somewhere else - would i have felt this 'unwarranted fear' if he had lived with us? could this be where circumstances plays a part? like youve said nobody really knows for sure.
anyway after a certain amount of time i went on what i call 'my journey' - its when i started to really find out about anxiety - that probably happened about 3 years ago,(although i had books and other help long before this), and last year i also got a self-help programme from NOPANIC, which clearly states that looking fro a reason is usually futile and recovery is not about goin gover your past, its about the behaviours you are doing and the things you are thinking that are reinforcing those behaviours or driving them - the negativity and the catastrophising.
however for me 'thinking' about things is natural - and like ive learnt -impossible not to do! but i suppose the big thing for me was learning HOW to think, so i do think about my past and i do look at times when ive felt really bad, but i think about it in a different way now - its like a 'whole' thing, its a life lead carrying the burden of anxiety and negativity and for me thats all it is - so re-trainin gyourself to not be negative and to not catastrophise can really reap rewards, even in stressful times.:yesyes:
I had an alcoholic for a mother, and a dad who couldn't handle that they sent my young sister to the states, while my dad worked abroad and left me with my mother at the age of 14.
At the time I did not feel anxiety, only embarresment, as she would often roam down to the corner shop for spirits when drunk, and I always felt people looked at me as that drunk womans son.
I got into a lot of trouble with the police as a teenager as no one was around to control me I suppose. This ended up with a few mates parents banning them from hanging around with me, which used to add to the anger.
For years I never got anxiety, just bitter resentfulness towards "happy families". A pathetic outlook on life and it wasn't until my late 20's that I realised that even though I had not had an ideal childhood, this was no basis to hate the world.
Anxiety kicked in when I was around 30, funny enough when I was feeling more relaxed with the world.
Gawd I could go on and on lol
Jaco
:winks: hey sasha, are you still following your post? i feel like we should ask you about your story? you dont have to tell us i just felt that we havent asked about you:) :blush:
I was always a very anxious and quiet child due to a very anxious and quiet mother and when I got to secondary school, I was bullied so that didn't help. I believe that's how it started anyway. It's muddy waters to me as to why it continues:lac:
Heaven_Scent
17-04-08, 17:18
I had problems when i was little which i cant remember (thank god) but from what i've been told stem from some kind of abuse (blimey that sounds harsher than it is) I've always been a worryer and its just got worse as i've got older. Im hopin to get some councelling from my GP and get to the bottom of it all.Xx
eternally optimistic
17-04-08, 22:54
My anxiety had been building up for probably 10 years or more, I now know.
I was involved in a serious road traffic accident which killed three people and I dont think I really had the opportunity to deal with it as best as I should have. I can recall many situations, although isolated at the time, which were probably panic attacks and abouts of anxiety. Initially the symptoms were different. Last year, when I was due to go on holiday with the family abroad, I broke down and realised that I was not going to make it. Whilst
I am on medication and things have improved generally, I am not so narky with my kids and more tolerant of situations, I wonder if this will all go away.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.