dianes
11-04-08, 19:51
Hi everyone :D Apologies for the long post.
Today I had to go to the hospital for a C.T. scan. My consultant has been waiting for me to have this scan done since March of last year. I have spent most of my life in and out of hospital, operations, tests, heart problems, etc. etc. It never used to bother me as I had got used to all the procedures. 20 years ago I had to have another operation for another ovarian cyst and unfortunately woke during the operation. This resulted in me suffering with PTSD, I used to have up to 7 horrendous flash backs a day and horrendous nighmares. After general councelling, I was eventually sent to London and recieved specialised PTSD councelling and my life moved on. As you can imagine I don't do anything medical very well now, especially since I have been suffering with panic/agoraphobia for the past 3 years.
I had tried to have this C.T. scan done on 3 seporate occassions, each time I had the battle with the car journey to get to the hospital and then going through the 'tunnel' to have the scan done :ohmy: Each time I failed miserably, I started pressing the button and screaming to be got out of the 'tube' even though my hubby was with me with his hand on my ankle.
This morning I was determined yet again that I WAS going to do it. I did my relaxation. My son came to drive hubby and myself to the hospital so I could sit in the back of the car. I was extremely anxious but they kept reinforcing that I COULD DO IT. I had my MP3 player with me, with my faviourite songs on and 'magic bottle of water'. I made the short journey there without panicking to much and went to the waiting area. I couldn't take any meds as my consultant didn't want me to take anything that could interfere with the liver. He was waiting for me when I arrived. I got changed, and they took me straight into the 'room' for the scan. I was shaking like a leaf and felt dizzy and sick. My hubby gave the radiographer my Andrew Lloyd Webber cd of my favourite musicals and I got on the bed. My heart was racing and I started panicking everytime they went to move me into the scanning machine. Twice it got to much and I panicked and said to my hubby and consultant 'No! I can't do this'.:ohmy:
They both talked me through the panic and my hubby said 'you just have to last out for 7 songs, count them down as you listen to them'. Again the headphones were put on, I lay down and started to move into the scanner. I concentrated on the songs that were playing, brought my breathing under control and lay there. While I was listening to each song I started to feel very hot and sick, the shaking started and I kept my eyes closed. I listened to each instruction telling me when to breathe in and hold my breath and listened to my music. After what seemed like an eternity it was OVER, I vomited when my consultant and hubby helped me to sit up, BUT didn't even get embarrassed, I HAD DONE IT:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
On the way home I remembered what 'Chalky' has said to so many people on here, that we CAN do it and WE CAN COPE he is so right.
I just had to share with everyone :hugs:
Love and Hugs to you all.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Diane
'Your imagination is always much worse than the reality'
Today I had to go to the hospital for a C.T. scan. My consultant has been waiting for me to have this scan done since March of last year. I have spent most of my life in and out of hospital, operations, tests, heart problems, etc. etc. It never used to bother me as I had got used to all the procedures. 20 years ago I had to have another operation for another ovarian cyst and unfortunately woke during the operation. This resulted in me suffering with PTSD, I used to have up to 7 horrendous flash backs a day and horrendous nighmares. After general councelling, I was eventually sent to London and recieved specialised PTSD councelling and my life moved on. As you can imagine I don't do anything medical very well now, especially since I have been suffering with panic/agoraphobia for the past 3 years.
I had tried to have this C.T. scan done on 3 seporate occassions, each time I had the battle with the car journey to get to the hospital and then going through the 'tunnel' to have the scan done :ohmy: Each time I failed miserably, I started pressing the button and screaming to be got out of the 'tube' even though my hubby was with me with his hand on my ankle.
This morning I was determined yet again that I WAS going to do it. I did my relaxation. My son came to drive hubby and myself to the hospital so I could sit in the back of the car. I was extremely anxious but they kept reinforcing that I COULD DO IT. I had my MP3 player with me, with my faviourite songs on and 'magic bottle of water'. I made the short journey there without panicking to much and went to the waiting area. I couldn't take any meds as my consultant didn't want me to take anything that could interfere with the liver. He was waiting for me when I arrived. I got changed, and they took me straight into the 'room' for the scan. I was shaking like a leaf and felt dizzy and sick. My hubby gave the radiographer my Andrew Lloyd Webber cd of my favourite musicals and I got on the bed. My heart was racing and I started panicking everytime they went to move me into the scanning machine. Twice it got to much and I panicked and said to my hubby and consultant 'No! I can't do this'.:ohmy:
They both talked me through the panic and my hubby said 'you just have to last out for 7 songs, count them down as you listen to them'. Again the headphones were put on, I lay down and started to move into the scanner. I concentrated on the songs that were playing, brought my breathing under control and lay there. While I was listening to each song I started to feel very hot and sick, the shaking started and I kept my eyes closed. I listened to each instruction telling me when to breathe in and hold my breath and listened to my music. After what seemed like an eternity it was OVER, I vomited when my consultant and hubby helped me to sit up, BUT didn't even get embarrassed, I HAD DONE IT:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
On the way home I remembered what 'Chalky' has said to so many people on here, that we CAN do it and WE CAN COPE he is so right.
I just had to share with everyone :hugs:
Love and Hugs to you all.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Diane
'Your imagination is always much worse than the reality'