My throat, such a terrible day :(

[mjh74]

Just when you think you're doing well, out of nowhere it comes right on out stomping all over you :(.

I have had pangs of anxiety all day which eventually turned into a full on panic attack which lasted for near on 3 hours. Will I ever get through this? Sadly I've taken a 2mg valium pill when I really want to cope with this without pills. How can I try and change my mind set into feeling that my fear isn't the end of the world?

All I want to do in a full panic attack is wretch and it petrifies me, I use all my throat and mouth muscles with all my might to hold one back and I still feel really scared about what I've just been through :(.

Why is such a daft fear ruling my life and what if I can never return to work?! I daren't leave the house incase I wretch especially when cold as I was out in the cold with a tense throat when this initial panic attack hit (after a few months of pressure at work) and made me feel like wretching. *sigh*

Sorry to rant, I just need to release.... I'm so dissapointed after a pretty good few days. Is this square one again, thinking about every swallow and how uncomfortable my throat feels?

Regards,

Mark.

[seh1980]

hello Mark,

Don't be disappointed with yourself for having a bad day. This happens to all of us. The important thing is that you don't let yourself go backwards but that you continue tomorrow where you left off before the horrors of today. The valium is there to help you during bad times so don't worry abour having needed it. We all need a little bit of help sometime whether it be in form of medication, counselling, etc. Hope you feel better tomorrow!!

Sarah :D

[mjh74]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for you support. I'm feeling a bit calmer and rational again. They don't have get you don't they! I guess it could also be my brain chemistry changing as I'm on my 5th day off anti depressants too. Another positive is that I've had a letter through with regard to CBT psychotherapy, I have to ring to book an appointment next week so fingers crossed with that too!

Mark [8D]

[doddy]

MJH,

sorry to hear youve had a bad day......buts lets just look at this like a blip....as thats what it is....and youve been doing so well coming off the meds.....you should be proud of yourself.....well done.

you may have another blip....you may not...but if you do then it wont kill you...you know that and they will get less and less and less.....

dont be down about the valium...probably millions throughtout the world took a valium today....no worries there......if it helped then great.......they will be a time my friend when you will wont need them but be patient.

take care

doddy

[sal]

Mark

Sorry you have had a bad day, dont feel guilty for taking 2mg of diazepam, sometimes we need that extra support and it shows no signs of failing at all.

Try not to worry about work, i know that is easier said than done but the more you worry the bigger an issue it is going to be.

We all have bad days and remember you have had a few good ones and they will come round as fast as they left you.

Take care.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[zena]

Mark don't beat yourself up..you have diazepam I normally reach for the wine or cherry brandy.

Try and sit down and relax. I know it's easy to say and hard to do in a middle of a major panic but it is do able.
You sound more positive today. Keep it up.

Take care

with good wishes

Zena

[mjh74]

doddy, sal, zena... what lovely people. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It's amazing how much better I feel now compared to earlier. Reading your words really does hit home, I should print them out incase of another attack just so it doesn't feel so intense and lonely at the time!

Many thanks once again...

Mark

[sal]

Mark
You dont need to print them out just look back on the posts and if you feel like that again come back on the site as we are all here to help and support you.

So pleased we could help you and you have felt better reading our replies.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[doddy]

mjh,


whenever you need me you just call my friend, sometimes all thats needed is someone to help put these things into perspective and give some reassurance, its just worry my friend, silly worry that gets out of hand........

hope u r feeling a little better now.

take care

doddy

[della]

hi mark

sorry you had a bad time of it,

however try to gain strength from this as each time you cope you have taken away the hold of each panic attack.....it is very rare that people are actully sick with panic...believe me i know what a hold panic CAN have...have you ever tried any deep breathing exercises to reduce your anxiety.


take care dalla:D

[nomorepanic]

Hiya Mark

Sorry to hear it got the better of you again and made the throat problem seem to much worse.

I don't remember being sick with panic attacks so I am sure you will be ok then.

Hope you feel a bit better today.

Nicola

[mjh74]

Hi all,

Thank you for your replies. It's strange, since that bad day things have again "changed". The anxiety is different in that I feel like I have a bit more control of the horrible feeling in my throat which in turn helps me to keep a big calmer. I'm *almost* able to "let go" of an anxiety bout so my heart rate drops a bit quicker too.

Today I got up and put my glasses on to find that the little plastic nose thing had broken. I haven't left the house for a month and realised I was going to have to. I got a lift down to the optitions luckily but the second I stepped out of the front door I felt a huuuuuuugeee bout of anxiety. Armed with chewing gum and packet of refreshers off we tootled..... it was such a strange experience as if everything was surreal, I'm not too sure if it's still the pills coming out of my system or not. The light really hurts my eyes still and it was really overcast, everthing just felt "strange", I still have the travel sick/motion sick feeling since I stopped pills altogther which is what I was experiencing on the way. When I finally got to the optitions it was closed anyway but I'm glad I left the house and got there! I got home and in about an hour I've managed to calm myself down with nothing more than a glass of water and the hoovering! I have to say that my back and chest are reallllly aching now so I need a lay down to help the sore muscles.

When I see my GP next Monday I'm going to see what he thinks about me trying a low dose of Cipralex after reading a lot about it on various websites and here. Since trying the Cipramil again after a year clear of it and being introduced at too high a dose (which caused increased anxiety) and THEN being switched to efexor with a 2 day interval (and then feeling really ill with that too), I feel a bit "once bitten twice shy" about the drugs. Cipramil turned my life around about 3 years ago after such a bad patch in which I was a passenger in a car accident, had a failed relationship and lost 2 grandparents who I was really close to all in a month. Even when I'd been dropped to half the dose (10mg), after 5 weeks I still felt awful anxiety symptoms which I never experience with them before.

Gawd what a mishmash of a message, does any of this really make sense? [:o)]

Regards,

Mark.

[seh1980]

hello Mark,

Well done for leaving the house!! I hybernated for 3 months one and I know how it feels the first time you leave. The world seems very sureal when you go back into it after so long, doesn't it? It's great to hear that you are coping with it a lot better.

I was on Cipralex for 13 months and it really helped me so much that I would recommend it to anyone. Good luck for when you go see your GP!!

Sarah :D

[mjh74]

Ahhhh thanks for that Sarah! So the surreal thing is relatively "normal" then! Though nothing really seems "normal" just lately... hehe

I will be going back tomorrow so they can fit the new little plastic thing to my glasses and not have to look like someone from an old episode of Coronation street! :D

As for the Cipralex, I feel I just need something to edge me back into society and back to work again. As long as I start it really slowly as I seem to respond well to low doses of drugs. If this causes the anxiety to worsen again after the "kick in" period, I'll just have to think of something else *eek*....

Mark.

[Meg]

Mark,

Indeed the surreal thing is entirely nomal. Things look brighter , faster, more in the way than previously.

Very well done for getting out there and doing it and for overcoming a bout of anxiety too !!

The horrible feeling in your throat is sometimes helped by having a good burp induced by some tonic water - caught early enough it stops the retching.


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[mjh74]

Hi Meg and thank you!

I really am feeling "OK" today again apart from having to leave the house. With regard to the throat "thing", that can either be underneath my Adams apple (pill stuck in throat syndrome) orrrr it can be above my Adams which makes me feel like I have a thick throat and that there's too much "dangly bit" there when I swallow. The burping usually helps the pill swollowed one but the upper feeling is a bit more convincing, nerve racking and feels worse when I speak. Saying that, over the past 3 days, things really have changed and I seem to be able to trivialise my fear somewhat, I'm not even sure why and won't question it too much at this point.

Thank you also for the info about the "environment change" after not going out for a period of time. It's certainly very surreal!

Mark

[mjh74]

<bad day>
Well I woke up this morning and was trembling when I woke up knowing that I was going to have to go out, making it worse I've felt really tired and very nervous all day. I bottled going out *sigh* but have repaired my glasses with bits from a brand new *get sun glasses for free* pair so all is well but I feel so disappointed for not going out and feel even worse wondering how I'm ever going to go out without fear again. I've never been like this in life before and I feel REALLY worried right now. I just feel so weak and scared and my throat is just becoming more than an obsession. Strangely though, the thought of the throat can create the unnerving feeling, that then falls to the back of my mind leaving that "feeling" to rule me for the rest of the day and it's crippling *sigh*.

Mark

[nomorepanic]

Mark

It was just "one of those days" wasn't it.

Don't dwell on it or beat yourself up over it.

Tomorrow is another day as they say so try again then.

You can do it - sending positive vibes your way mate
x

Nicola

[mjh74]

Thanks for the vibes Nicola, very much appreciated!

I've just forced myself to call a friend and chat for an hour which was nice even though I had to force myself to speak and not swallow 100000 times *I know, give it a rest Mark*, I'm telling myself the same thing!

Mark :D

[seh1980]

hi Mark,

Sorry to hear that you've had a bad day. We all get those so just think of it as what it is: a bad day and nothing else. As Nic says, tomorrow's a new day and let's hope it's a better one..

Sarah :D

[sal]

Hi Mark

Its been a hard day for you and im sorry to hear that. We all get bad days hon and i see how hard you have tried to get through it.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.