Please help!

[nycworrier]

Hi all,I have posted here some time ago I hope I find you all well.

The problem I have is apart from the obvious worrying myself sick about EVERYTHING,analysing everything.I am scared to leave home/go abroad.My partner and I have been together for 8 years and he knows this problem only too well.We have been abroad before 3 times which often ends in me totally freaking out that something will happen to me/him/family while we are away!

I get in such a state that I can hear my own heart beat,this starts as soon as the holiday is booked!I have some days where I do think 'yay we are going away!' but they are few and far between.

We where talking about going back to Cyprus in september,I was all for it as it is a lovely place,we were all ready to book and the monster reared its head!
I couldnt do it,in the end my partner said just leave it.Its not fair,he is entitled to a life to!
Please help get out of this rut.

Thankyou in advance
Vicky :weep:

[Jaco45er]

Hi Vicky

You know, this is one of my last stumbling blocks. I have almost overcome anxiety as far as not having panic/extreme anxiety day in day out, and now just have the odd bad day.

However, holiday's and going abroad. I have not been abroad since 98, when I went to the USA and had nothing but anxiety all the time I was there, and even got pretty bad anxiety when away in this country.

My wife (bless her) has booked a villa in Minorca in August, and I have already asked her not to talk to me about it until nearer the time, because even now the thought of it sends me in a tiz.

Ironically, if I stop away while working I am fine (although never worked abroad) so I am not sure why going abroad or holidays make me so anxious.

I too would be interested if anyone can share light on this.

Jaco

[nycworrier]

I am just scared that I will get to a point in my life were I think 'what was that all about'.......or 'I wish I would have taken more holidays'

My partner is so supportive but he doesnt understand,that isnt his fault its because he is not a worrier and never has been,that I am so envious about!

I would give anything to be able to go on holiday and enjoy every minute without worrying myself stupid about my partner/family/home ect...I am at the point now were something has to be done I have a life and I WANT to live it.

[psychbrat]

Hi

Im scared of going abroad to so I sympathise with you. With me I think its because I cant get back to my safe place easily and I have to know I can get there otherwise I freak. Also im afraid to fly never been on a plane.

What is it about going abroad that scares you?

Jo
x

[menomum]

Hi there, yes I'm just the same with the going abroad thing. I think its because I feel as though I'm out of my comfort zone which, is my home and all my familiar things. We always used to go abroad every year, and although I was never that comfortable with it I didn't seem to let it bother me like it does now, in fact we haven't been abroad now for about 6 years. Thank goodness my Husband can't stand all the delays etc at the airport or I think we'd certainly have to go more often.

[nycworrier]

Hi to you both,thankyou for your replies.

I can relate to what you have both said,I cant stand being away from my home and family...my comfort/safety zones.
We last went away last May to New York and that was a huge deal for me,but it was a lifetime dream so I did it.I have no regrets about it at all.I was terrified at times,I cried going to the airport,at the airport,on the plane...but I did it.

Going to Cyprus this time we have been before it was for my sisters wedding so I was ok because some of my family were there.

I do think though that because its going away for a week is bothering me,and it is just the 2 of us going.grrrrrrr..just wish I could enjoy it!

[nycworrier]

Psychbrat...Believe it or not flying does not bother me,this I find amazing!

I have always been ok with that,The only time I am truly happy on holiday is when we get back on the plane to come home..how sad is that!...it makes me so mad that does.

Im just a point in my life now were I am sick of this worrying/panicking they are just thoughts and they cant hurt me,they dont control my lifes path.

I WANT to live my life,my partner and I deserve to BOTH be happy,seeing the world ect.

Best to all..xxxxxx

[Lilith1980]

Hi Worrier

Is it only going abroad?

Have you thought of going on a weekend away somewhere in the UK? Take things in small steps as it were?

Maybe do a weekend and then go for 4-5 days or something - build it up gradually?

Jo xxxxx

[psychbrat]

I feel the same I hate the fact that my panic gets in the way of me enjoying things that I have to analyse things and exhaust myself first.

[slondon]

hi i feel so sad reading all of this. i joined today and am searching for hope and any advice about my symptoms. have had panic attacks for over 6 years now and as much as i feel that i do fear alot and fear dying i cant help feel that my throat problem is not just globus hystericus. i have been told so many things and then i was told i had throat spasms!!!!!!!!! so what does that mean exactly.
anyhow due to this i cannot and will not travel anywhere due to fear of not swallowing. i am better off alone as i can be close to where i know and can seek help if i need to. hence no guy will be happy with me. want a break and cry so much as i cannot go anywhere. i can drive to a local place but thats it. any thoughts anybody? i am ruining my life.

[MissMoo]

Hey vicky,
I understand exactly what you're going through, as i feel exactly the same! I have a holliday booked that's coming up and I'm just not sure how I'm going to cope... to say it's daunting is the understatment of the century huh?
The thing is, I think we're both focusing on every single thng that can go wrong, but not sparing even a single thought to how much fun we're going to have! Try to alter the way that you're looking at it, imagine yourself having an absolutely fantastic time where everything goes according to plan. Go through the holliday in your head every step of the way, and imagine it all going well.
That certainly helps me to feel a little more positive about it anyway.
You'll be fine, promise :)

-MissMoo

[nycworrier]

Slondon......Im so sorry to hear you are suffering!

You will find this board a great help believe me.So many everyday people men&women are gripped by one thing or another and what might not seem as a problem to one it is to another,so you are in good company...:welcome: .I have been with my partner for 8 years now and before we met I was like this (not as bad) gradually got worse,he is so supportive so please dont go thinking that you have to spend your life alone.I really do hope that you find these boards helpful I know that I have.

Vicky xxxxx

[nycworrier]

Missmoo....Thankyou I know what you are saying is totally right!
We shouldnt let ourselves fall victim to this.We are entitled to a life,there is a whole world out there and only one lifetime...Thankyou.

Vicky
xxxxx