Really need some help today on staying positive!

[jellybean43]

Hi everyone!
Well I have finally decided to go to see a doctor about my health anxiety!
I am really getting myself in to some states some days---other days i am totally fine!!Yesterday was a bad day when i spent the entire day feeling and poking for lumps. When OH came in from work i was convinced that the back of my neck at the top of back bone(if that makes any sense) was swollen til i felt his and it was nearly the same!!!He has said to me what i already know--that i do need to tell my GP all my fears.
The thing is, as many of you know, i moved last September and therefore had to leave a fab GP behind---one that i had trusted for 24 years!!!!
The new doctor(whom i have only seen twice) was great but i did feel very scared going and even worse cos he said straight away i had to go and have the Xray of chest and neck---actually i nearly freaked out!!!I cant get to see him tomorrow(not sure i wanted to see him again or not!) so i am seeing a new doc at the practice.I am really really worried about going as i feel he will feel the swelling and send me immediately to hospital--despite all those tests coming back clear at Xmas!!The swelling is no different in size but i am continually checking everywhere for lumps/bumps on a very very frequent basis which, i know just cannot go on!!It is on my mind from morning til night and when i wake in the night too----so tiring!!!!
I have a holiday booked in 10 days and i think that i wont be going as they will say it is sooo serious. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE HELP ME THINK SOME POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!!
What i really want to say to the doctor is all the above---that i got results back fine(which he will see on screen) and that i am obsessed with the fact that i have something serious and that i am checking myself all the time.I also want to tell him all the stuff that has recently gone on---house move that was a year of huge hassle, my parents coming back in my life out of the blue after 10 years of not seeing them(just before Xmas)----I am pleased that has happened but another thing to add to my stress list etc etc!!
Can anyone advise if i am doing the right thing going tomorrow? I was going to wait til after hol but i am not sure i can go away feeling the way i do!!!!
Thanks everyone xxxx

[chalky]

Hi Jellybean,

The best person to offer you reassurance is ........YOU!!!

You have a health concern and your response..go to the Doctor- Great idea.

You have had so much going on lately in your life -Is it any wonder you are stressed?

It will take time for you to come to terms with all of your issues but you are doing something about it.
Keep believing in yourself!!!!!
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Best wishes,
Chalky

[jellybean43]

Thank you Chalky---you have been really kind and supportive xxx

[bluebell68]

Hi Jellybean... i absolutely think that you are doing the right thing in going to the docs :yesyes: and would hope that your doc will give you the advice and support that you need.....i replied to a post earlier about a reoccuring lump in my neck exactly where you said that you felt yours and i have had this come up and go down loads over the last 10 years or so but it took me ages to pluck up the courage to go to my doc about it . He told me not to worry at all about it... he said it is just a gland that can come up and go down again when we are run down or have a cold etc... it can even happen when i sleep awkwardly... it just becomes inflamed and of course the more i prodded it and poked it the bigger it would get :blush: . He said leave it totally alone for a few days and take ibruprofen and it would go down on its own ...and it did... and now i don't even bother with the ibruprofen cos it always settles again on its own...he said that most people have it happen but don't notice.. but of course i did :ohmy: ... i have since found out that friends at work have had the same thing and been told exactly the same by their docs... when we have anxiety everything that happens to our bodies that is even slightly out of the ordinary is terrifying but i am sure your doc will be able to reassure you about this.....if it helps i have recently started back on Citalopram and it is doing wonders for my anxiety... im not saying you should take it too but it might be something to consider...
Take care :bighug1:

[Worrier]

Hey Jellybean,

Read your post and feel bad that you are having such a hard time with this whole thing. You have to stop torturing yourself every day and believe in yourself that you can move on from this. I will be here to help you all the way and do whatever I can to make this better. By the way, card is on its way so hope it will cheer you up.

I think when you find a doctor that you like and trust you will be able to put all your feelings out there and find what you are looking for. I went to a counsellor and it really helped me so much and I didn't feel I was being judged at all. Please think about that - I am sure it would really be good for you.

Anyway look forward to chatting soon.

Worrier (N)