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Bill
15-04-08, 20:29
These are just some thoughts on what I feel creates what I call “our dark side” which some may relate to and how to deal with it.

Being sensitive, we are normally kind caring people but our sensitivity also creates a vulnerability to feeling hurt which in turn if not dealt with correctly causes a lot of our problems and drives people away from us leaving us feeling alone and even more hurt.

Through life we experience both happiness and sadness but our bad experiences are often bottled and stored within us because we absorb them. We begin to expect new people to treat us as others have always treated us before so we look for people to treat as badly as that’s what we’ve become so used to. Past mistreatment causes present day mistrust which in turn has caused a fear of being hurt.

This bottled hurt often causes anger, a lack of patience and irritability which are all symptoms of emotional stress. This stress causes us to feel trapped and in a corner and so like a wounded animal we lash out to hands that try to help us. These trapped feelings can then also cause our anxieties and our fears because the hurt lies bottled within us and not released. We become frustrated with ourselves and our lives because our fears then control us leading us to a depressed state.

We become bitter, resentful and either become defensive by putting up emotional barriers afraid to allow others close to us for fear of hurt or attack people because something they say touches on our hurt even though what they said wasn’t meant in the way we interpreted. We just try to protect ourselves from hurt because we’re afraid of it because we expect to be treated badly so look at life in a negative way expecting the worst from life and from others.

We end up pushing people away through our barriers or reactions because we’ve tried to protect ourselves from deemed threats of hurt which in turn causes others hurt when we haven’t meant to. Out inner hurt has talked for us. It’s what I call “zapping” people because they’ve touched on a “live wire” within us. We’ve become so used to being hurt that we end up protecting ourselves assuming all people are the same but that defence then also drives the genuine people away leaving us feeling alone.

This then reinforces our belief that we’re worthless. We “expect” not to be liked. We feel a burden to others and hate ourselves for what we are because often we can see what we do to others without meaning to. We feel guilt for our behaviour because we feel we’ve hurt them so beat ourselves up for what we think we are. A “bad” person when we’re not. We feel unloved and retreat into our shell. We become afraid to even try to make friends because we fear being rejected which will cause us to feel more hurt which reinforces our negative feelings towards ourselves. We become alone and depressed living a life in fear of hurt.

Every time we feel hurt the cycle repeats because we want to be loved but our sensitivity pushes people away and we then retreat back into our depressed shell hating ourselves for “our dark side”.

This is where counselling helps because it helps us to release all these bottled hurts so that we come to terms with these feelings and in turn become more relaxed with life so ease anxieties, accepting hurt as a part of living without bottling it and also not “zapping” people who want to be there for us because of our fear of hurt.

We cannot stop being sensitive and we shouldn’t want to because a sensitive person holds such warmth and empathy towards others but counselling can help us to cope with “our dark side” and remove our fear of hurt.

PUGLETMUM
15-04-08, 20:51
:hugs: :yesyes: :winks: as usual bill you are spot on - although i did think it would be a post where we could say what we thought our 'dark side' consisted of:blush: ! so was ready to list all my bad points!!!!

i feel that anxiety and especially low self-esteem can make a person very very defensive, and also have a 'need' to be right?:shrug: i know ive been like this and i still struggle to not function from the lower side of myself - you know to come from a position of respect and acceptance, but it is an ongoing process and one which i find takes great patience and discipline - but i think it is rooted in liking yourself - so if you dont you are pretty much on the 'attack':ohmy:

dawny
15-04-08, 21:10
bill,

another excellent thread, i love to read what you write.

dawny

marie1974
15-04-08, 21:20
wow Bill you are very wise, you are spot on and thats exactly how i feel. you write so well big :hugs:

SueBee
16-04-08, 11:06
What a fantastic post Bill !!

I think you've hit the nail right on the head when it comes to confidence. I continually push people away due to low self esteem. I know I have a problem with it, its how to overcome it I cant work out!

Lilith1980
16-04-08, 11:18
This is so true of me when I was going through my eating disorder. I thought I hated the people around me and I would stop them from getting too close for fear of being used and let down, but in fact it was the hate I had for myself that was the problem.

Counselling definitely helped me to "accept" the things that had happened. I went from feeling "I am pretty worthless" to "I'm not that bad" and its getting better all the time :)

Richie
16-04-08, 12:26
Hiya Bill
It's an excellent post Bill and true of all of us, a bit like Emma i thought "the dark side" was going to mean something else!!
It's all very true Bill:hugs:
But don't you think that at times there are very valid reasons for not always letting people into your life?
If you are not very good at sussing out peoples characters and generally just look at their surface facade then its real easy to fall prey to those that will hurt or even destroy you.
That might sound dramatic but it can very easily happen by being really friendly. Sometimes that is a hard lesson to learn in life, and a shame because then we can become cynical.
Unfortunately some of us never learn that lesson, then it becomes our downfall.
Sorry not contradicting you just another viewpoint/angle on it
Lots of love Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

chalky
16-04-08, 15:48
Hi Bill,

As others have said,it is a priviledge to read your Threads.

:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
best wishes,
Chalky

ridingthewaves
16-04-08, 18:29
An excellant post Bill and one I agree with in the main,although for me ,I don't find I end up pushing people away,but I know when I've had enough and need to retreat.There is a book out I read a few years back when I started sorting me out,its called THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON..it's very good,because it focuses on the sensitive persons attributes and why they are so necessary in this world and also how the sensitive can learn to live happily in their life.
I still struggle now and then with bouts of feeling the need to run and hide from the world..but I fight it and make do with some alone time and music,a good book or a walk :)

Oceanblue
16-04-08, 18:40
Wow - That's such a brilliant Post Bill.

You ought to write your own book you know :) .

Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

:flowers:
I understand what you mean too Richie. x

hazey-babe
16-04-08, 19:55
Hi,
I agree with what you have written. :yesyes:

It took a fair bit of counselling and time for some of my zaps to be debugged but will probably need more in the next wee while with all the probs I am going through just now. But it does help a lot.

You should write a book. Your advice is fab

Love Hazel xo:hugs:

Bill
17-04-08, 03:22
But don't you think that at times there are very valid reasons for not always letting people into your life?
If you are not very good at sussing out peoples characters and generally just look at their surface facade then its real easy to fall prey to those that will hurt or even destroy you.
That might sound dramatic but it can very easily happen by being really friendly. Sometimes that is a hard lesson to learn in life, and a shame because then we can become cynical.
Unfortunately some of us never learn that lesson, then it becomes our downfall.

Richie:hugs: ,

You have a very valid point that by lowering our defences, we "could" be destroyed. However, it's the risk we take in being friendly to make friends. We Have to be prepared to take risks or we end up alone anyway.

The key is to lower defences and learn how Not to be destroyed by those we make a mistake with in attempting to gain their friendship.

We are only destroyed if we destroy ourselves by allowing hurt to affect us too deeply. We become cynical because we allow bad experiences to make us cynical. We only fall if we never learn how to cope with hurt.

If we do not take risk, we live a life in fear which then creates our anxieties. We Have to learn to take risk because that's what life IS - Risk. We cannot keep control of everything and everyone in our lives because attempting to keep in control creates anxiety because we become too sensitive to bad events as we restrict ourselves from learning how to cope with them.

We learn through our mistakes. We cannot go through life without experiencing bad events or hurt. We cannot control events or people, or live in fear of taking risk. If we do, then we live in fear, depressed and alone because we never find out who we Can trust.

To achieve gain, we often have to experience mistakes that cause pain but we need to learn how to bounce back from the bad, and to learn to live for the Good...........such as people like YOU!:hugs:

Bill
17-04-08, 05:17
Yes, people can still hurt us through their honesty and truthfulness because they Care and are trying to protect us from making a mistake which we can't see. Often we only realise later that they had good intentions when we could only feel hurt at the time.

Some people also lack tact and diplomatic skills so they come across as direct and harsh when they have a good heart.

The world is made of many different types of personality but those who genuinely care will always be there when we are in need of support but we have to open up to find them.