Bill
15-04-08, 20:29
These are just some thoughts on what I feel creates what I call “our dark side” which some may relate to and how to deal with it.
Being sensitive, we are normally kind caring people but our sensitivity also creates a vulnerability to feeling hurt which in turn if not dealt with correctly causes a lot of our problems and drives people away from us leaving us feeling alone and even more hurt.
Through life we experience both happiness and sadness but our bad experiences are often bottled and stored within us because we absorb them. We begin to expect new people to treat us as others have always treated us before so we look for people to treat as badly as that’s what we’ve become so used to. Past mistreatment causes present day mistrust which in turn has caused a fear of being hurt.
This bottled hurt often causes anger, a lack of patience and irritability which are all symptoms of emotional stress. This stress causes us to feel trapped and in a corner and so like a wounded animal we lash out to hands that try to help us. These trapped feelings can then also cause our anxieties and our fears because the hurt lies bottled within us and not released. We become frustrated with ourselves and our lives because our fears then control us leading us to a depressed state.
We become bitter, resentful and either become defensive by putting up emotional barriers afraid to allow others close to us for fear of hurt or attack people because something they say touches on our hurt even though what they said wasn’t meant in the way we interpreted. We just try to protect ourselves from hurt because we’re afraid of it because we expect to be treated badly so look at life in a negative way expecting the worst from life and from others.
We end up pushing people away through our barriers or reactions because we’ve tried to protect ourselves from deemed threats of hurt which in turn causes others hurt when we haven’t meant to. Out inner hurt has talked for us. It’s what I call “zapping” people because they’ve touched on a “live wire” within us. We’ve become so used to being hurt that we end up protecting ourselves assuming all people are the same but that defence then also drives the genuine people away leaving us feeling alone.
This then reinforces our belief that we’re worthless. We “expect” not to be liked. We feel a burden to others and hate ourselves for what we are because often we can see what we do to others without meaning to. We feel guilt for our behaviour because we feel we’ve hurt them so beat ourselves up for what we think we are. A “bad” person when we’re not. We feel unloved and retreat into our shell. We become afraid to even try to make friends because we fear being rejected which will cause us to feel more hurt which reinforces our negative feelings towards ourselves. We become alone and depressed living a life in fear of hurt.
Every time we feel hurt the cycle repeats because we want to be loved but our sensitivity pushes people away and we then retreat back into our depressed shell hating ourselves for “our dark side”.
This is where counselling helps because it helps us to release all these bottled hurts so that we come to terms with these feelings and in turn become more relaxed with life so ease anxieties, accepting hurt as a part of living without bottling it and also not “zapping” people who want to be there for us because of our fear of hurt.
We cannot stop being sensitive and we shouldn’t want to because a sensitive person holds such warmth and empathy towards others but counselling can help us to cope with “our dark side” and remove our fear of hurt.
Being sensitive, we are normally kind caring people but our sensitivity also creates a vulnerability to feeling hurt which in turn if not dealt with correctly causes a lot of our problems and drives people away from us leaving us feeling alone and even more hurt.
Through life we experience both happiness and sadness but our bad experiences are often bottled and stored within us because we absorb them. We begin to expect new people to treat us as others have always treated us before so we look for people to treat as badly as that’s what we’ve become so used to. Past mistreatment causes present day mistrust which in turn has caused a fear of being hurt.
This bottled hurt often causes anger, a lack of patience and irritability which are all symptoms of emotional stress. This stress causes us to feel trapped and in a corner and so like a wounded animal we lash out to hands that try to help us. These trapped feelings can then also cause our anxieties and our fears because the hurt lies bottled within us and not released. We become frustrated with ourselves and our lives because our fears then control us leading us to a depressed state.
We become bitter, resentful and either become defensive by putting up emotional barriers afraid to allow others close to us for fear of hurt or attack people because something they say touches on our hurt even though what they said wasn’t meant in the way we interpreted. We just try to protect ourselves from hurt because we’re afraid of it because we expect to be treated badly so look at life in a negative way expecting the worst from life and from others.
We end up pushing people away through our barriers or reactions because we’ve tried to protect ourselves from deemed threats of hurt which in turn causes others hurt when we haven’t meant to. Out inner hurt has talked for us. It’s what I call “zapping” people because they’ve touched on a “live wire” within us. We’ve become so used to being hurt that we end up protecting ourselves assuming all people are the same but that defence then also drives the genuine people away leaving us feeling alone.
This then reinforces our belief that we’re worthless. We “expect” not to be liked. We feel a burden to others and hate ourselves for what we are because often we can see what we do to others without meaning to. We feel guilt for our behaviour because we feel we’ve hurt them so beat ourselves up for what we think we are. A “bad” person when we’re not. We feel unloved and retreat into our shell. We become afraid to even try to make friends because we fear being rejected which will cause us to feel more hurt which reinforces our negative feelings towards ourselves. We become alone and depressed living a life in fear of hurt.
Every time we feel hurt the cycle repeats because we want to be loved but our sensitivity pushes people away and we then retreat back into our depressed shell hating ourselves for “our dark side”.
This is where counselling helps because it helps us to release all these bottled hurts so that we come to terms with these feelings and in turn become more relaxed with life so ease anxieties, accepting hurt as a part of living without bottling it and also not “zapping” people who want to be there for us because of our fear of hurt.
We cannot stop being sensitive and we shouldn’t want to because a sensitive person holds such warmth and empathy towards others but counselling can help us to cope with “our dark side” and remove our fear of hurt.