Really Scared

[Hope 2]

Hello All :D

I am cringing like mad here but I am in need of some support .
I have not started a thread b4 cos I hold firm beliefs that I am not worthy of others help and I HATE to put any one out kinda thing .

Basically I am in a state . I have just got a letter from Incapacity Benefit to say I am no longer entitled to recieve it . I attended a medical assessment a few weeks back which in itself was really hard to do . I have had this benefit for a few years now , since I left nursing cos of OCD , post natal depresssion and anxiety . I hate claiming this benefit cos it reinforces my beliefs that I am a FAILURE . I feel I am getting 'paid to fail' . BUT despite not giving a toss about me , I have to ask for this money cos I have a partner , little girl and a mortgage . I already feel I let them down on a daily basis by not working .

I know it is cos I am ashamed of myself for being weak and being the way I am that I hide away from life in general and dont go to GP ever hardly , and at the assessment I realise now that by only telling them the basics cos of my embarasment , they have stopped the benefit . So it's my own flippin stupid fault for only telling them so little of how I really feel and how this affects me each pointless day . What am I gonna do ?????? My fella is gonna be SO disappointed in me I hate letting Anyone down , especially those I love . I am wracked with so much guilt .

Love to all
Any advice ?
Love Hope xx

[jesse08]

Hi there,
This must be really worrying for you; their decision on top of going for the medical itself. I am writing this off the top of my head, so you may want to check but can you appeal?There is a process for appeals if you disgaree with a decision. If you don't want to or can't, they won't just stop all your benefit from today - it is paid a week in arrears and a week in front. Suggest you look at claiming income support which I believe you are entitled to if you are not working (you'll need to check this if you have a partner). When you feel a bit calmer, and I do understand what this is all like, have a look at the main website

http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk

It lists what to do about medicals,appeals and probably how to claim income support. I don't know all your details, but you may be eligible for disability living allowance. This is not means tested and there is a mobility and a care component. There are some forums where people have posted similiar stories, so google some key words. If I can find anything else for you, I will. take care.

[Hope 2]

Hi Jesse :D

Thank u so much for yr help , I am truly grateful for your trouble .
I will look into the appeal side of things . I cant face it just now .
I am so dreading telling my partner cos he worries about money so much since we moved house . I have let him down . Again . Sorry , as you said , you know how it feels eh , this kind of thing just feels like a huge whack in the head and you stress majorly over every aspect .

Thank u so much for yr care and help Jesse
Hope xx

[Panic1971]

Hi Hope

There is an appeals system - but you have to appeal within a certain number of days (not sure if it is 14 or 28 days). They wont even look at your appeal if it isnt received within their timescale.

Just wanted to let you know - in case you decide to appeal.

[chalky]

Hi Hope,

Please start by imagining the shoe beiing on the other foot.If it were your partner sufffering,you would do everything you could to support him through it-you seem like that sort of caring person.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Talk to him about this.Get him involved in helping you through the Appeals Process.You can do this!!!!
Being with someone includes helping each other through the bad times-that's why the good times are so sweet.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[sheba2]

Hi there.

Sorry this is happening to you. When you are as stressed as we are this sort of thing is so hard to fight. What you really need is someone on your side who will help you and the best people for this are the citizens advice. They have people who deal specifically with this type of problem. They will help yu fill in forms etc and may also send someone with yu if yu appeal. I read somewhere recently that more appeals are successful if they have the backing of the CAB

There is another association that helps people in your situation I will try and find out the name. I hope this helps and good luck.

[sheba2]

The other place for help is called The Welfare Rights Office. If you google welfare rights office for your area then yu will get some info from them Good luck

[popsy]

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! You are just a sensitive soul like the rest of us on here! There is an appeals process for exactly this sort of situation, it will be okay when they realise the true story and the extent of your issues. Contact the Citizens Advice Bureau as well, if you explain your situation over the phone they may well do a phone consultation for you if you feel you cant go down there physically. You are intitialled to this benefit, you have worked and paid into it for years, it is yours to claim, do not be ashamed, while you were working you were helping other people to claim this benefit in your situation now by paying your tax's etc....
I am thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs.
Charlie x x x :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[jesse08]

I think the advice others have given about visiting the CAB is really good if you feel you cannot cope with this at the moment. It happens to a lot of people and it is scary. I find dealing with the benefits system very scary and have had several panic attacks just from trying to sort things out. You are not alone in how you feel. Another site I have found is

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/FinancialSupport/IncapacityBenefit/DG_10023132

Wishing you all the best with this

[Angel64]

Hi, I was just wondering if you have a counsellor or a therapist who can back up how you are day to day.

I have been on this benefit for about 18 months, I couldnt attend the initial medical which was about 6 miles away so they arranged a home visit, the doctor was excellent and because I was in my own home I felt it easier to explain things. Maybe if you appeal you could explain how even making the visit for the medical caused you so much anxiety that you were not able to explain things properly and ask for a home visit instead.

Do not feel guilty for claiming this, you have worked hard and are entitled to it. I wish I could go back to work but know at the moment I am not able to.

Please keep us posted & good luck.

Christine xx :flowers:

[freakedout]

Hi Hope 2

You have had some amazing replies here and I am sure they will be of great comfort and help you to feel that you ARE worthy of support and you are NOT a failure :yesyes:. I think Chiristineplus3 made a fantastic point to may request home visit by a doc in future and raise the issue of the ordeal you faced attending the original medical assessment. Surely that is a mitigating circumstance.

What feels like the blackest darkest day today, will feel a little easier when you know there are people supporting you that really "get it" and understand EXACTLY how you feel.

I really hope that you are ok and that tomorrow you will feel a bit stronger, you deserve your benefit, you are entiltled to it and you WILL win your appeal:yahoo:.

Big Hugs and positive vibes heading your way :bighug1:

Take Care

Freaky

[Hope 2]

Hi All :D

Huge thanks to each of you :hugs:

I have begun the steps needed toward submitting the appeal . Have spoke to a woman from DWP . I felt able to do this cos of the support and info u all have given me . Gonna see GP for first time in yonks (eek) and get on the phone (eek) tomorrow again to benefits agency . Am gonna do my upmost to tell GP how I Really feel and not go in making jokes cos im nervous , and not hold any punches about how my probs affect my life and well being .

Many Thanks
Love and care to u All
Hope xx

ps . I have had a quick nosey at the websites some of u found will look properly tommorow xx

[marie1974]

hiya mate only just seen your post realising it was you, god i am a scatty women, you will get this sorted hun and i will help, chat later xxxxx

[Hope 2]

Hey Folks :D

Donna luv yr a star :shades: and doing a real good job on here too xx

Christine now my head is a bit clearer I have a plan in place and wanted to let u know re my 'support' situation ......well ........... been to Gp's and have his total backing especially told him how I Really am . Yr kind words meant a lot chuck xx

Love to all
Hope xx

[Kate408]

As other people have given such great advice about the benefits system, i'd just like to add that you should never worry about asking for advice and starting a thread on the forum. You wouldn't think badly about someone else asking for advice, and no-one will think badly of you for asking for help.

I hope everything works out for you. Would be nice to hear how things go.

Take care.
xxxx

[Hope 2]

Hey Kate , thanks so much for that , yes hmm:blush: , I reckon yr right . It's hard to break the habit of a lifetime , but not seeking much help ...........doesn't help eh.........for me , anyways . Just reading back over the replies now I am more chilled has helped me see that no one thinks im weak , pathetic etc . Popsy's opening comment is invisibly stuck on my forehead now as a reminder so cheers chuck !

Warm wishes to u all
Love Hope xx

[marie1974]

great to see you getting somewhere hun, it will all work out in the end just stay positive xxx

[popsy]

So glad we were about to give you support and maybe help you to feel stronger.....everything will work out okay....please let us know how it all goes.
Be strong girl! :hugs: ....says i who's having a shakey day! :doh: LOL!
Charlie x x x x

[Hope 2]

Hi Charlie :D

I have been really touched that folk have took the time to help me out when I needed it . I am feeling more chilled now .

Sorry for the late enquiry like lol ............ but how u doing chuck , sounded like u were having a bit of a dodgy day ?

Take care
U can give me a shout anytime
Love Hope xx

[popsy]

Hi Hope.
Dodgy day seemed to actually turn into quite a good one, how often does that happen!? :)
Feeling lot more chilled tonight :shades: , have had a bit of time to myself to think about stuff and turn things around in my mind (you've gotta love CBT!).
Thanks for caring Hope :hugs: , sooooo glad things are getting better for you, you really remind me of myself reading your posts. I guess we all have to remember that today might be cr*p but it doesnt mean tomorrow will be. PM me anytime, ive put you on my buddy list, i hope we can keep in touch.
(((HUGS))) Charlie x x x :hugs:

[Hope 2]

Hey Charlie :yesyes:

Awww am well chuffed yr okay hun .
Positive approach u got goin on there , that's the spirit (hic !) lol .

It would be lurverly to keep in touch :hugs:

Speak Soon eh
Love Hope xx