Thoughts linking to bad times?

[xtinkerbellx]

Dont really know how to explain this but all of a sudden ive developed an issue with this guy i used to "go out with" ever since i spoke to a bank adviser with the same name. i feel sick talking about it because he ruined my life for almost a year and wouldnt leave me alone :|

My surgery is booked 28th may and i have been thinking and thinking of "bad things" associated with this day, date, month, etc. I wish i didnt do it because ive come up with 28th february 2004 (the 28 is the same) the day i first agreed to go out with this boy after lots of begging :( , its the same month as his birthday and its exactly 3 weeks after his birthday and will always fall on the same day.

My mind sometimes tells me who gives a damn! but then i start worrying about it over again, like ill never be able to forget it and i will always be haunted :| because i will never forget i had surgery.. and i want this boy erased totally from my memory. I have sold and chucked out everything he ever got me and tried to dispose of him the best i can. I feel crackers writing this but i always seem to try and find "links" to bad times especially this boy.
Can anyone help ??

Constantly anxious Tinkerbell x

[hazey-babe]

Hi,

It takes time to get over someone treating you badly. You have to think it was him not you that was the problem. Its hard to do it but maybe write it down.

I did this a few months ago when I saw an ex who had an issue with his hand in the till at work!!! This was 14 years ago and then I started blaming myself for his problems. I then wrote down that it was him who was stealing and not me and that it wasn't my fault. I felt so daft for thinking about this after all that time but it solved the issue once I looked at his faults and realised that he was a twit!!! I must have been carrying this in my sub-concious fpor all those years. Obviously you're probs are more recent but see if this helps.

Love Hazel xoo:hugs:



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[PUGLETMUM]

:mad: :weep: this is a really unfortunate co-incidence for you isnt it? i can see where you are coming from with that now your surgery will be linked to that guy:lac: bu tover time this will fade. like hazel says this is a recent episode in your life and thes nasty phases take time to get over. i actually got married to a nutter in a britney style quick wedding, and it ended badly and quickly when i realised wha tid done and found out he was taking heroin on a regular basis:ohmy: :mad: anyway the most important thing is you get away from him and you made that desicion for yourself because of his behaviour - that takes some doing, and then to deal with the fallout is totally stressful - its one of my worst case scenarios - being stalked it must be horrible:weep: so be kind to yourself, you have done really well to cope with something so difficult, try not to let this go into your future with you, becaus ethen he is still having a hold over you? this is wha thelped me to let go of how i felt over that nightmare relationship i went through. ive now been with my hub for 11 years, so you will find happiness and he wont matter anymore, but give yourself some time:hugs: