:: Lost 22 pounds in 5 weeks ::

[CONS]

My diet has NOT changed,

I do NOT excerise,

I AM angry.


Only a few months ago i was looking into liposuction that i was going to pay for with my University grant money as i believe you can't put a price on personal happiness/acceptance. Anyway the costs were huge (as expected) and the actual loss was variable.

Let me back up to 5 weeks ago, 29 yr old 6ft 16 stone male.

Majority of my weight in the gut area.

Not a heavy eater or a heavy drinker, infact i place the change on my SSRI i took 2 years ago but can't for the life of me remember the bloody name of it.

So lately my anxiety has been through the roof, heard some news off my best friend (with whome im for the most part in love with) that is devastating to happen to any female. This news was given to me last week.

I am the type of person who weighs himself once a week, usually after a bath to keep an eye out that im not going tip over 16 stone. THIS WEEK i weigh myself because im getting really bad headaches, phantom arm aching pains and tense shoulders (more than usual on the shoulders) and i find im 14 stone 2 pounds.

Im disgusted and anoyed that i could lose so much weight and to be perfectly honest a little scared to what depths i could now sink too.

When i said to my psychologist this Wednesday past that i was anoyed she asks me " why are you anoyed? " to which i barked out " because i should'nt have lost it this way!! ".

Yes i lost control, the stress i carry now reminds me slighlty of 2003 when things started, when i passed out for the first time in my life but even THEN i didnt lose this much weight.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Constantly dizzy, feeling sick and my trip to the library 300 metres away is another story.

Sorry for the rant but if i cant do it here, then where?

Cons

[thevoicewithinme]

CONS,

Firstly never apologise on here for ranting...most of us do it at some point.

Secondly, I think, or rather am almost sure, that your sudden weight loss is due to anxiety and the problems that come with it.

I spent many years on one diet or another, but never lost no more than 3 or 4 pounds. I moved up here, 17 months ago, and suddenly, without dieting, I went down nearly four sizes in clothes!! Unlike you though, I am glad that the weight has gone.

I am convinced though, that the weight loss was caused by the severe stress and anxiety that I went through last year due to my ex husband and the things that were found out about him, that have in return messed up my head and the lives of my children.

You mention the library?? Can I ask if you are agrophobic?

[CONS]

"You mention the library?? Can I ask if you are agrophobic?"

The fear of fear from panic attacks is fastly making me feel that way.

I never used to be but lately my symptoms have changed so much.

[thevoicewithinme]

I can understand exactly where you are coming from.

I was agrophobic for 7 years, but conquered it 12 years ago. Now, because I had a panic attack while driving, I am now fighting like mad to try and keep it at bay again. I have to drive that same route everyday, twice a day to take my three little ones to school, and have to face the fear of the fear of having a panic attack each and everytime.

Some days I can do it ok, other days I struggle like hell. Before I even set off from home, I am thinking 'what if I have a panic attack'

The only advice I can give you, is try at least once a day to make a trip out, no matter how close to home it might be, and then when you feel comfortable with that...try and go a little further, but do be prepared for minor setbacks.

Kaz

[CONS]

Definately Kaz,

your suggestion makes perfect sense, i guess keeping myself in my bubble right now is my "choice of preference" although the charity shop has a bin full of vids i wouldnt mind looking into for later today.

Kicking my own ass a little ;)

Sod it i might just do it cuz you suggested it,

*Leaves the house*

[thevoicewithinme]

Good for you CONS, I am glad I helped in some small way.

Don't forget to let me know how you get on, if I am not online you can send me a private message.

Good luck.

Kaz

[heatwave]

Cons,
I sympathise with you. I too have suffered weight loss from anxiety and agrophobia.
I lost around 14lbs is a couple of months without dieting. Well, I didn't need to diet as I have always been skinny and the last thing I needed to do was lose weight. I am finding it very, very difficult to put on any weight now. I am eating more but it doesn't seem to be coming on.
I too feel exhausted and sick with anxiety. Walking tires me out and leaves me breathless but I am forcing myself to walk every day, otherwise my agrophobia will get the better of me.
I am feeling better than I was but I know just what you're going through as I've been there myself, just like so many on this forum.

Keep posting and we'll help as much as we can.

Sue

[CONS]

Thanks Sue,

unfortunately for me my apetite has not come back at all since i found i lost the weight, might be some kind of shock i dont know, slightly reassuring that you have had simmilar symptons also. I do apreciate you taking time to explain that im not alone because believe me the majority of the time, i do. I lost a lot of muscle mass before the fat due to lack of excercise so now i guess i reap what i didnt intentionally sew.

Kaz

Bittersweet really, started getting the feeling of lock-jaw before i left (had this feeling for the last 3 days at least anyway) and sparked up a smoke on the doorstep as i headed out. started getting phantom pains in my right arm this time but i dismissed it, lock-jaw sensation again, breathlessness for no apparent reason. Then i stopped about 20 metres from the vid-bin and was about to turn back and thought "what's the worst that could happen?", so my brain counteracted with "here have some more breathlessness, phantom arm pain and lets tighten that chest".

Its cold out, i got 6 vids and didnt dig deep enough to find something substantial, went in paid my pound and started feeling better as soon as i made my first 5 steps towards home.

I live litterally 4 minutes walk from town but i rarely go these days.

Ce La Vie

[thevoicewithinme]

But you did it! Hang onto that thought, because believe me it can and will help in the future.

I know so well, that feeling of suddenly feeling better as soon as you are on your way home. I failed last week when I tried to go to Tesco, but the minute the car turned around and starting to head towards home, I started feeling bettter, then when I got home, I was very very angry at myself for failing. I know I did the wrong thing by giving in and coming back home, but, we learn by our mistakes so they say and its not always as easy as people think is it?

Yesterday was an extremely good day for me, and I am keeping that thought in my head and hopefully next time I have to go to Tesco, I shall just keep telling myself that I can do it and the panic and all the dreaded symptoms that go with it are not going to beat me.

You did well in not turning back when you got to the vid-bin. Give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it. Well done!

Kaz

[CONS]

Thanks again Kaz,

I feel therefore i am,

;)

My mother finds shopping hard and never goes alone unless there is no alternative. the pat on the back would have more meaning if the fact that i could easily venture into town for further and longer 2-3 weeks ago wasnt gnawing at me.

Your like an angel on my shoulder, i thank you for that.

[thevoicewithinme]

Why is the fact that you could not venture into town for further and longer 2-3 weeks ago gnawing at you? Or is that being nosey and if I am, then I apologise. We all have demons that we have to face (if thats the right way of putting it) and sometimes telling someone else about them, and getting their view etc can help, although saying that, I have yet to meet someone who has demons similar to mine but as you said earlier Ce La Vie ;-)

[CONS]

Made me smile 3 times so far, slow down before my face falls off.

As a 29 yr old man my foolish ego/pride has to constantly battle my "weaknesses and faults".

Head says "dood your 6ft, stocky and not the ugliest mug in the world and you cant walk to the town without feeling like your going faint?, pathetic"

Im sure my head has good intentions but in reality...

Its Me VS ME syndrome (i invented it, where is the bloody copyright symbol)

;)

[thevoicewithinme]

Ummm sorry have forgotten wherethe copyright symbol is lol

'Head says "dood your 6ft, stocky and not the ugliest mug in the world and you cant walk to the town without feeling like your going faint?, pathetic'

I have got a word to answer that, but better not on here, so instead shall say, no you are not pathetic!!

Me:-

I am a full grown woman, mother to six children, the sole parent! Three of my kids are grown, the other three are still very much dependent on me, as they are only 10, 6 and 5. My boys, are used to me being able to do stuff, just like most mums do and also used to seeing me doing stuff that don't, and by that I don't mean bad stuff. I am a biker, and up till a few weeks ago, could still ride my bike. Now it takes all the energy and strength I have to drive my car, without feeling faint and absolutely terrfied, let alone ride something with two wheels and an engine.

So, what I am trying to say, is that if you are pathetic, then I am a failure...but woah..no..we are both wrong. We, like everyone else on here, are fighting our 'illness' we are fighting to understand our 'illness' fighting to get our lives back, so how can we be pathetic and failures??

We are the strong ones, it's the ones that don't understand that are the weak ones.

God, I'm rambling, I shall shut up now.

Kaz

[CONS]

No you have valid points,

Seeking understanding more than empathy (could be an oxymoron) is what strong people do. Those frequent self-evaluations we do is part of the healing process, thats where terms like "getting my second wind" came from. even frequenting the GP whose surgery/practice is 1 minute from my house is a step in the right direction.

When i was waiting for my pschology appointment i found a pamphlet about "talking therapies" and in it it constantly repeats "you may have to look further into this yourself". The resources for Stafford are awfull. Example being i used to be a self-inflicter, have tried to commit suicide twice and still had to wait 10 months to start psychology. To me that was not good enough nor will it ever be.

NHS direct however is a god-send.

Here is a more defined example at how the mental health service here is lacking resources:

You call the mental health helpline your allotted time is 20 MINUTES

You call the Samaritans helpline your allotted time is 50 MINUTES

I kinda fell out with my psychologist on Wednesday when i said to her " what happens after the 10 week sessions? " she replies " what do you mean? ".

Jesus was that not an easy enough question.

So i replied with " well if your help doesnt work i see it as im in the process of getting closer to the help i need ". (bare in mind she sits and listens without asking a single question)

She said " well if thats what your thinking then its not worth continuing "

WTF is that!!

I waited best part of a year to be told by this woman its not worth it for the reason of trying get help.

Disgusting.

[thevoicewithinme]

'You may have to look further into yourself'

That I guess is very true, to find the answers (not all of us, but some of us) of why we are this way, would be to look deep within ourselves, at our past experiences in life. Some of us can move on from not so good experiences, others struggle.

I have never seen a psychologist, I have always struggled on my own, trying to work things out for myself. Some people I have spoken with say that seeing a psychologist is a good thing...others, unfortunately the opposite. I have heard often of people questioning there psychologist to be told that there is no point in carrying on.......something which I have never understood.

Kaz