Been silly

[kaz79]

Everything has been getting to me recently, most of my family criticise me and say Im a bad mother even though I try my hardest and look after twin girls while my partner works all the hours God sends.
I know I say things like 'I wish Id never had kids' but Its only because I find it so hard. I dont mean it.
Im always being let down by people and I have a massive issue with trust.
Anyway. I tried to give my alcoholic brother another chance and let him see my girls but he let me down again.... so I went out and got drunk and now I am paying the price with SEVERE anxiety. I cant keep still and I dont know what to do with myself. I woke up at a friends house at 3am and didnt know where I was, had to ride my bike home and be up at 6am whem Danika woke up. I feel guilty and knackered and I havent been able to go out coz Im so panicky.
I was doing o.k but every time I get let down I get more and more disheartened.

[marie1974]

hiya we have all been there hun, i have i got so drunk i didnt know nothing and i dont ever want to get like that again. you will feel better and build your confidence i know its hard. i too like you look after 3 children 11,8 and 4 while hubby works long hours and at times i could scream and at times could have run for the hills but i realise now my kids helped me cos they always needed me kept me busy and in the end helped my recovery. instead of thinking of them as a problem and stress i started to make my life more simple not worry about the house so much and started enjoying the kids playing reading with them and just doing stuff thats not stressful and i found the kids loved it too and were so much better behaved, not they were naughty anyway bless them, but you should try it.

[Hope 2]

Hi Kaz :D

If you are silly then I am positively stupid hun lol . Just tryin to say you are only human and actually u havent done anything wrong either ! It sounds like u have been having a real difficult time of it lately and folk being critical really twists the knife I know . My way of dealing with things can be pretty similar to yours , and I am usually so guilty cos of my behaviour the night b4 when I am supposed to be a 'Mum' . Well I have decided , there aint no rule book so , when I need to , I am gonna do whatever I need to in order to let me hair down . Dont beat yrself up mate , blimey u have SO got yr work cut out with twins ......... enough to drive anyone bonkers without the extra hassles u have .

As for being let down time and again I have kinda started a so many strikes and yr out approach . Cos (some) people never change and keep hurting us ....... this is something I am working on lately ....... learning to accept my family for what they are ......... and not what I wish they were .


toodle pip
Hope xx

[kaz79]

Yeah. I agree. Ive done that with my niece now and I will not see or speak to her now.

[marie1974]

sometimes thats the best thing hun xxxx

[kaz79]

I still feel awful. Not as anxious and I managed to get out today but I feel really low and unable to cope.
Im still really tired and the girls both have colds (Samara was up most of last night) which is making matters worse.:weep: