Caught out and terrified

[Jaco45er]

Sorry, a rant.

I am posting this to myself in a way, to remind me never ever to be so complacent again.

A typical Saturday night last night, I cooked, had a few wines etc but decided to stay up for the Calzaghe fight (Joe won :)).

I was shattered so I thought, I know, a big pot of percolated strong black coffee will keep me awake.

While waiting for the fight, I got through a whole pint of the treacle like substance. I sat down to watch the fight, heart was pounding near the end but I always get into the boxing.

4;30 am, it's all over, time for bed. As I lay in bed, I started to toss and turn and within 10 mins I was on the bedroom floor in a shear state of panic, gasping for air.

I was on my own as my Wife was sleeping in the daughters room since me and my boy might wake her up. Panic attacks are pants at anytime, but in the wee hours when everyone is sound asleep and you are on the floor doubled over, breathing through a heavy chest wondering if you are actually going to die is probably the most depressing time to panic.

This lasted for 2 hours, I managed to get asleep around 7 am, and it's now 10:30 am and I am still in a bit of a state.

I am so disappointed that I rarely get panic attacks these days, and I can even nip them in the bud sometimes but this attack this morning sadly scared the life out of me (I was convinced it was not a panic attack, but the start of a heart attack for 2 hours).

Surely it was tiredness and far too much black coffee, I damn well hope so, it brought back so many memory's of the bad days a few years ago.

I know it's a bit of a pointless post, and pretty obvious why I got the attack but I don't mind telling you it scared the life out of me. I should damn well know better, I know what a panic attack is grrrrrr.

That's it, I am getting back down the gym, I haven't been in 8 weeks and I am sure that never helped.

Rant over

Jaco

[CONS]

Yeah that has to be awfull, having a wife that could calm you but not wanting the kids to see you like that by waking them.

2 hours! thats an endurance test by itself, can i ask why you felt the need for strong black coffee? I missed the fight (gutted) but i take it that was in the small hours of this morning?

Personally if it were me i would rest up today as much as possible and try catch up on the sleep you missed, i find if i lose too much sleep it catches up on me.

Best of luck jaco, you have a good understanding of how things are.

Cons

[Pickle]

Hi Jaco, no post is ever pointless if it helps you.

Panic attacks are 'pants' at the best of times but in the small hours of the morning they are horrendous.

Have you got an iPod or something you could put relaxation music on? There was a great post on here by Christine yesterday with a link to a site for a free Relaxation download. It's already on my iPod.

I also do the ABC game (wont work for all but works for me). Pick a subject (cars) and go thro the alphabet and name a (car) beginning with each letter. First time I tried it, it didnt work, but now its the one thing that calms me and before I know it Im asleep

Hope the gym was enjoyable

Take care

[Jaco45er]

Hi CON chap.

The reason for the strong black coffee is because I am stupid, what was I thinking? talk about getting far too cocky, it's almost like anxiety is just reminding me not to take the pee.

Hi Pickle :)

Yes I have an Ipod and thanks for the info. I am too panicky even now to concentrate or settle. I am a "pacer" when anxiety is high, and I never can relax, I have to let it run it's course and fight all those negative thoughts.

It's funny, when I am ok (which is most of the time) I can give people advice on dealing with panic and anxiety, but when I am like this, I can't put it into practice that easy, even now, after all this experience.

Ahh well, roll on later, hopefully it will pass today.

Thank you, I do value peoples comments on here.

Off to find a camomile tea or something.

I look like a guy who has had 3 hours sleep and rolled across the bedroom floor suffering from panic half the night.

Jaco

[SueBee]

Poor you Jaco :hugs:

I'm the same as you, I can give good advice to other people suffering but when I'm in the middle of a panic all common sense seems to go out of the window for me and I get caught up in the negative thoughts. One thing I do find that helps is come here and read about the symptoms panic and anxiety produces and it usually helps to calm me.

You come across as a sensible guy anyway, you know it'll pass with no ill effects - good luck and chill ! :)

[Lilith1980]

Hi Jaco

You are far too hard on yourself. We are only human and are bound to make mistakes sometimes - yes I know, even I can make mistakes :shades:

The thing is, if you have been feeling good or "ok" for a while then you do forget and can get a bit complacent. But its not worth beating yourself up about it :hugs:

I guess its all about being "mindful" which is what I am trying to do. I have had relapses with certain things in the past, but it hasnt done me any good to criticise myself. You have to think "ok, I got that one wrong, but I'll know for next time so just put this one behind me".

Try to have a chilled out day today, and hopefully you'll get a good night's sleep tonight.

Jo xxxxx

[Angel64]

Hey Jaco, its a lonely place to be having a panic attack specially in the middle of the night, and when you havent had one in ages you sort of forget what to do for a while, but in the end, ok after an awful 2 hours you could justify where it came from, yes that darned coffee, and the excitement and overtiredness of the boxing, hey if you felt rough just think how the loser felt lol

I had a trip to A&E in the early hours of yesterday morning and yes it is so unlike me but I was in such a tizz, and usually know how to handle it but I thought this time its DEFINATELY serious.

Hope you are feeling better and stay off that coffee, I know that it effects me and I'm not supposed to drink it but omg doesnt it taste just great !!

Have a nice day.

Christine xx :flowers:

[Piglet]

Jaco hun I had a very similiar night on Friday night purely due to me allowing myself to get sooooo terrified over having my wisdom tooth out that day - it's been awhile since I've actually felt quite that bad and it's not nice is it mate.

I was gonna do a massive telling off about the coffee but think you've told yourself off enough bless:hugs: . I don't drink coffee myself but I find too much chocolate (caffiene again) does the same to me!

Love Piglet :flowers:

[Jaco45er]

Thanks all x

Did I really put terrified? In the cold light of day now I feel more angry and frustrated.

I don't like anything getting one over on me, and that includes a panic attack. My hearts doing 10 to the dozen here, and my wife is getting the hump cause I keep pacing around the house, and I know acceptance is key (as I always preach) but I am defiant now, not terrified.

The words of Claire Weekes are spinning around my head, and I just know (hope) that this will be behind me soon.

I get even more annoyed with myself when I read about some people's unfortunate circumstances on here, and can totaly understand why some poor souls undeservedly suffer through thier cirmcumstances, then a muppet like me get's into a state just cause I stayed up a little late and have a couple of coffee's.

If pacing ws an olympic sport I would be off to China in the Summer.

Jaco

[bottleblond]

Jaco jaco jaco.......STRONG BLACK COFFEE!? the adrenalin wearing off after the fight and being over tired probably just took it's toll mate. I know it's horrible but stop beating yourself up over it.

I'm soooo glad your feeling better now though.

i'd write more but got a hangover from hell :blush:

love Lisa
xxxx

[Jaco45er]

I wish I did feel better blondy xx

And don't make excuses you have a hangover, we all know you have the attention span of a goldfish ;).

I am left this evening with that head pressure feeling and heavy chest and the memory of all those black days when this was the norm.

I should know enough by now to get over this, but my minds already shooting forward to tomorrow wondering if it's going to stick around.

It really does make you feel so isolated, anxiety.

[margaret911]

Aw Jaco I so understand but just remind yourself of how well you have been doing lately and this is just a little setback. Take care.
love Mags xxx

[marie1974]

hiya hun, i am sure it was too much caffeine as this does trigger them, hope you ok now xxxxx

[jodie]

hiya jaco

aww mate sounds like you have realy had a time of it :hugs:

i am sure as you have sead it was the coffie i am just the same if i drink it i have the fast heart ect for hours .
you should try get an early night and i am sure tomoz you will be as good as new .

hey it was a good fight tho huh:)

jodie xx

[erialc]

Jaco,

Sorry to hear u having a tough time.

Get yer bum back in the gym :buttkick:, less coffee :nonono: and sleep :closedeyes: (am I preachin enough yet? lol) Actually I should give myself that advice!!

Take it steady for a few days and I am sure you will be back to your usual self - telling us how you can cook and us women can't :notworthy:

:bighug1:

Tc

Claire xxxxxxx

[Dying_Swan]

Aww Jacobite :hugs:

It's funny how that happens. Just yesterday I was driving along the (bloody) A14, tired out of my brain after working nights. I rarely have full on panic now, but it jumped right up and bit me on the bum. I know I won't faint and all that, but at the time, I thought I would. After the hundreds of times I felt like that and haven't fainted, I still felt as though I would. And then it passes and you feel like an idiot for believing it.

You and coffee don't mix do you? So avoid it you big numpty!

Rest assured - it will have been a combo of coffee and tiredness

xxx :flowers: