My story

[Zingara]

Hello,
I have had panic attacks and related problems for years on and off, so I am not a novice at all, but lately things have got so bad I feel that I will never recover, I feel so upset about being a burden to my family and my boyfriend. I am 29 years old and have a good educational background, I have two degrees, one in law and a masters in criminology, but despite this I have never really had a 'proper' job because my life has been punctuated with panic episodes, OCD, and nervous breakdowns. I had a total thyroidectomy in Sept last year, which went well surgically, but which seems to have triggered a breakdown. I am very upset and tearful all the time, I feel unbearably sad and terribly terribly anxious almost all of the time. I suffer very badly from physical agitation as well. I have been diagnosed with IBS, and suffer a lot from diarrhoea, which in itself is depressing and upsetting, and makes it very difficult to be spontaneous. Twice I have had to go home from my part-time work because of it. I am in such a state that I have just had to make an emergency doctor's appointment...I feel terrible. I can't imagine right now that I am ever going to get better.

[Lilith1980]

Hi Samira

Welcome to NMP :)

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time right now. My Dr diagnosed me with IBS a few weeks back. I felt so ill and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and hope the symptoms had gone when I woke up.

Being physically unwell or going through major physical things like operations are bound to take their toll on your mental wellbeing. If you are in pain or uncomfortable, this is going to effect you mentally as it takes mental strength to cope with the pain.

Have you been to see your GP about counselling for your anxiety? Do you think it would help to speak to someone about these things? You may find that helps if you are too worried to talk to your family or boyfriend :hugs:

Jo xxxxx

[hopeful]

Hi Samira, You've come to the right place.You'll get lots of support and advice here.:hugs:
julie x:hugs:

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx

[Lindalou64]

Hello Samira And Welcome.i Wish Ya Well........linda

[chalky]

Hi Samira,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Feel proud of yourself for doing something about your health issues!!
Tackling our problems can be incredibly frustrating and hard but they won't do it themselves.Taking action ,as you are, shows bravery.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[kellie]

hiya Samira :welcome: to nmp its lovely to have you here :biggrin: . you find lots of support/advice and very understanding ppl to talk to. dont forget to visit the chat room and talk to us all.
best wishes
take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/misc/progress.gif

[Nibbles]

Hi and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :smile:

[nomorepanic]

Hi Samira

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help

[Joe1981]

Welcome to the site! :D

[Angel64]

Hi Sam welcome to NMP, the last sentence "I cant imagine I will ever get better". I really do believe that with the right support (and this site is fab!!) you can change this around to "I will get better but just have to take one day at a time and really BELIEVE I will be well"

I have found from personal experience that changing the way I think to positive rather then negative, even when everything seems to be going wrong, really does make a difference.

Christine xx :flowers:

[jesse08]

Hi Samira, this is a great pace to get support and understanding. Take Care:bighug1:

[Zingara]

Hi and thanks for all your nice messages....I went to the doctor and got put on 2mg diazepam as well as my Prozac to try and calm me down a bit. That helped and I was feeling better, until I went to see a mental health nurse at my GP's surgery...I felt she disliked me just from looking at me and she was basically very dismissive, suggesting I enjoyed attention and generated my panic attacks myself by 'negative thinking' and 'irrational beliefs'. I couldn't believe it, but then she told me that at 29 it was too late for me to get better! She said that anxiety would by now be 'part of my character' and it was basically to late for me to make any real progress. I can't believe this is right. Has anyone any comments to make as I really feel bad about this.

[thevoicewithinme]

Hello and welcome to NMP.

You will find lots of useful information and advice here and will also meet lots of new people who truly understand you.

Kaz

[Zingara]

When I had my thyroidectomy in Sept last year it was to remove a goitre, which if you haven't come across it before is a swelling of the thyroid gland. Mine was an exceptionally large one which was very visible and made me very self conscious. The surgeon said it was the second largest one he'd ever seen. It affected what I could wear (I always had to wear roll neck sweaters or, in the summer, large scarves, and couldn't ever go swimming or to the beach. It was so large it would show even through my jumpers and people often made hurtful comments like 'Have you got your hankies stuffed down there?' I dreamed of being rid of it but fought shy of the operation because I was terrified of surgery. Eventually it got even larger and I developed a tumour inside it, which initially caused a cancer scare. I decided enough was enough and I would have to go ahead.
Now that I don't have it anymore, though, and I now have a 'normal' neck, I have all sorts of weird and unexpected emotions about it. It's almost as though I miss it. I think about my operation a lot even though it's now seven months ago and I feel nostalgic about it. I don't know how to move on with my life and feel normal again. I tried to explain all this to the nurse but she just looked at me as though I must be really strange. I felt like we were speaking a different language. I wonder if anyone else knows anything about this....having a deformity/disfigurement put right surgically and then finding it difficult to cope afterwards? My panic attacks might be linked to these physical changes? What do you think?