mtatum4496
22-04-08, 22:47
Hello, everyone:
My name is Mike, and I live in the southern portion of the United States.
For some time, I have not felt normal. Over the last few years, those feelings of stress and anxiety grew stronger. I tended to brush things off, putting the fact that I sometimes felt strange when out with friends, being irritable, having trouble sleeping, etc to the stresss I was under at work. There was a great deal going on, and it was very easy to attribute my feelings to that, and promise myself that once the ongoing work crisis was over I would begin to de-stress and get back into a better frame of mind.
This went on from the middle of 2004 until January of 2007. At that time, I chose to resign and pursue writing full time. I currently work from home.
I thought that as the months went by I would begin to feel better. Instead, I felt worse. Still, I chose to take herbs and whatnot for the stress, and attempt to exercise several times a week. Finally, in the autumn of 2007 I saw a doctor who found some issues, which we addressed. However by then I was beginning to have experiences where I felt that I was going to faint, lose my mind or even die. I was given a prescription for a low dosage of Xanax, and that has proven to be helpful.
I began to see a different doctor in February of this year. He ran a great many more tests, ruled out thyroid and other issues, and found that I was suffering with a reactivated Epstein-Barr Virus, diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety disorder, and with panic disorder. He immediately placed me on Vitamin C and B-complex vitamins. A month into the treatment, he increased the amount of the Vitamin C and also added calcium and magnesium to my daily regimen. He also continued the Xanax at the same level.
I am improving some, in that I do have days where I have some energy, and when the panic attacks come, they no longer bring thoughts of dying (still feel as if my sanity is slipping away, however). The EBV robbed me of all my energy, and having a panic attack used up resources I simply did not have. If I do not gauge the situation properly and take the Xanax in time, I will be without any energy to function for several days. Even with the Xanax, if I try to do too much, I am weaker the next day and seem to be more suspectible to the anxiety.
While I do seem to have energy more often, I still have a way to go yet. At the same time, the agoraphobia seems to be stronger. Today, for example, I have a relatively decent amount of energy, am enjoying having the windows open and letting a breeze into the house. I have been on a short bike ride around the neighborhood, and was able to do some simple exercises and enjoy them. But at the same time, there is this stifling sense of not wanting to go outside. My best friend called a little while ago and wondered if I felt up to going to dinner tonight - the idea absolutely scared me to death for some reason - the place he had in mind is one we have been to before where I was successfully able to contain the anxiety - but somehow today it seems like too much.
I feel I am letting my loved ones down. So many people have let me know they are there for me, especially my best friend. But when I have days like today, I feel like such a burden. But it seems that bundled in with the EBV and the panic/anxiety my emotions are very close to the surface and even everyday sounds can sometimes move me into panic mode (such as in a restaurant where people are talking in normal tones, or there is both a television and a radio going in the background). On a day like today, I simply freeze up at the idea of putting myself in that environment.
One more word on the EBV - as of my last doctor visit, the bloodwork does show the virus is now in a convalescent state, so we are making progress and I can look forward to the fatigue, nausea, and general malaise to fade more as time goes by. My doctor recommends patience, getting out when I can, and allowing myself light exercise on days when I feel more energetic. I do pretty well having people in for dinner and such, and there are a few places around town that seem to strike me as safe on most occasions, so I am not completely housebound.
I guess my main desire for signing up for this forum is to reinforce to myself that I am not alone with this sort of thing, that other people do deal with it, and that it is possible to get better. Days like today, even though I know in my head I am making progress, my heart doesn't seem to get the message.
Thank you all for allowing me to get this out. It did help me a great deal.
My name is Mike, and I live in the southern portion of the United States.
For some time, I have not felt normal. Over the last few years, those feelings of stress and anxiety grew stronger. I tended to brush things off, putting the fact that I sometimes felt strange when out with friends, being irritable, having trouble sleeping, etc to the stresss I was under at work. There was a great deal going on, and it was very easy to attribute my feelings to that, and promise myself that once the ongoing work crisis was over I would begin to de-stress and get back into a better frame of mind.
This went on from the middle of 2004 until January of 2007. At that time, I chose to resign and pursue writing full time. I currently work from home.
I thought that as the months went by I would begin to feel better. Instead, I felt worse. Still, I chose to take herbs and whatnot for the stress, and attempt to exercise several times a week. Finally, in the autumn of 2007 I saw a doctor who found some issues, which we addressed. However by then I was beginning to have experiences where I felt that I was going to faint, lose my mind or even die. I was given a prescription for a low dosage of Xanax, and that has proven to be helpful.
I began to see a different doctor in February of this year. He ran a great many more tests, ruled out thyroid and other issues, and found that I was suffering with a reactivated Epstein-Barr Virus, diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety disorder, and with panic disorder. He immediately placed me on Vitamin C and B-complex vitamins. A month into the treatment, he increased the amount of the Vitamin C and also added calcium and magnesium to my daily regimen. He also continued the Xanax at the same level.
I am improving some, in that I do have days where I have some energy, and when the panic attacks come, they no longer bring thoughts of dying (still feel as if my sanity is slipping away, however). The EBV robbed me of all my energy, and having a panic attack used up resources I simply did not have. If I do not gauge the situation properly and take the Xanax in time, I will be without any energy to function for several days. Even with the Xanax, if I try to do too much, I am weaker the next day and seem to be more suspectible to the anxiety.
While I do seem to have energy more often, I still have a way to go yet. At the same time, the agoraphobia seems to be stronger. Today, for example, I have a relatively decent amount of energy, am enjoying having the windows open and letting a breeze into the house. I have been on a short bike ride around the neighborhood, and was able to do some simple exercises and enjoy them. But at the same time, there is this stifling sense of not wanting to go outside. My best friend called a little while ago and wondered if I felt up to going to dinner tonight - the idea absolutely scared me to death for some reason - the place he had in mind is one we have been to before where I was successfully able to contain the anxiety - but somehow today it seems like too much.
I feel I am letting my loved ones down. So many people have let me know they are there for me, especially my best friend. But when I have days like today, I feel like such a burden. But it seems that bundled in with the EBV and the panic/anxiety my emotions are very close to the surface and even everyday sounds can sometimes move me into panic mode (such as in a restaurant where people are talking in normal tones, or there is both a television and a radio going in the background). On a day like today, I simply freeze up at the idea of putting myself in that environment.
One more word on the EBV - as of my last doctor visit, the bloodwork does show the virus is now in a convalescent state, so we are making progress and I can look forward to the fatigue, nausea, and general malaise to fade more as time goes by. My doctor recommends patience, getting out when I can, and allowing myself light exercise on days when I feel more energetic. I do pretty well having people in for dinner and such, and there are a few places around town that seem to strike me as safe on most occasions, so I am not completely housebound.
I guess my main desire for signing up for this forum is to reinforce to myself that I am not alone with this sort of thing, that other people do deal with it, and that it is possible to get better. Days like today, even though I know in my head I am making progress, my heart doesn't seem to get the message.
Thank you all for allowing me to get this out. It did help me a great deal.