Does anyone get symptoms when they have "nice" things planned?

[jellybean43]

Hi
I was just wondering if anyone else got anxious when they have nice things planned?
I am going away next week for a few days to the Lakes and I am now starting to worry whether I am going to be ill or not---I mean how crazy is that?
I have suffered with migraines(LOL yes something else hehe!!!) since I was 14 and I am on daily medication.In general, I dont really dwell on them, as they are the Classic Migraines which mean if i get one i have to go and lie down and I am ill for about 24 hours-----had them sooo long so i know pretty much how to deal with them. However, I always worry about getting one when i am away(only happened once ever) and I start and think why do i bother planning nice things.
Today, I had to go and get my hair cut and that is another thing i just hate doing.It leaves me exhausted as it is such an ordeal----though I am proud that i can manage it!
So, tonight i am starting to feel a bit sick and worried(that feeling of dread) of going away!!
What is this all about ?? I look forward to it for weeks before and then as it gets nearer i start and feel really anxious.
I soo wish i could be different.This HA really does get me annoyed!!
On another note i did have a good day yesterday---I actually managed to go a whole day and not think about my neck problem. I was sooo pleased with myself---though today has been totally different!!!
xx

[Panic1971]

Hi Jellybean

You are not on your own with this. I do this all the time. I bring it on myself too sometimes, as I will be having a good day and then organise a weekend break or something for a couple of weeks time, then will absolutely dread it and panic like mad.:wacko: I worry constantly whether I am going to feel okay or not, well before the day has even arrived.

I still go - but feel on edge all the time, just waiting for the panic/anxiety to strike!

You will have a brilliant time in the Lakes. Just hope the weather is nice for you:yesyes:

Take care and try not to worry about it.

[menomum]

Hi Jellybean, yes i'm just the same with this particularly if it involves staying away from my home for maybe a week or so, i just freak out at the thought of it. In fact the thought of going any where at the moment is just to much to contemplate. I always seem to get something wrong with me a few days before we go, not enough to make me ill exactly but just enough so my mind isn't free of it. To be honest if i had my way we'd never have to go abroad again, i just hate it. When its the holiday season and friends keep talking about their holidays and can't wait to get there i just don't get it at all, its all to much of a trial for me. What a miserable old bat i must seem!
Do try to have a good time though.

[jellybean43]

Hi Menomum
You are not a miserable bat---you are just like me---anxious!!!
I dont go abroad and havent for 15 years just in case i was ill!!! Most of my friends just dont understand. I HAVE TO GO somewhere near home so that if i had to get home i could---how barmy am I???
At least the lakes is only 1.5 hours drive from where we live LOL
When we went to Cornwall three years ago I was counting off the days til i got home---I sound a right misery too dont I???
xxx

[louwilliams]

put it this way....if my partner said to me "ive booked a holiday in spain for next month" i probably would end up not going. if, however, he packed my bags for me while i was at work and we went straight to the aiurport without any prior warning...i would probably go.

this is just my example-i could use this in everything in everyday life-i panic before picking the children up from school but if i get a call to pick someone elses children up from a party or somewhere at the eleventh hour, i just do it. the point is is that if i have warning.........i get ill. if something is sprung on me i'm not too bad

lou xxxxx

[celeste]

Anticipatory anxiety is terrible. I am exactly the same. I try to plan things to look forward too, but the anxiety just ruins it. However when i get to the event i'm usually OK. Its the classic fear of the fear.
I have a holiday booked in 4weeks. I am already panicking about driving there even though its only 40 miles away! Its crazy. I also stay close to home so i can get back if i need to. i don't worry about this too much. OK so i haven't been abroad with the children, but they are happy so long as they're having a holiday & a good time. Just the fact that i'm not too far from home stops me from panicking & enable me to enjoy myself.
It just wouldn't be worth it going any further & spending the whole time panicking. I'm getting better & hopefully all of that will come with time.

I have to agree with you Lou. Sometimes -although not always- its much better if things are spontaneous. If my boyfriend said to me 'right next week we're going to Paris'...I can catagorically say i wouldn't go. If however he turned up with the bags in the car & said lets go I would probably be OK. He's unlikely to do this though as he understands my problems.

[mtatum4496]

put it this way....if my partner said to me "ive booked a holiday in spain for next month" i probably would end up not going. if, however, he packed my bags for me while i was at work and we went straight to the aiurport without any prior warning...i would probably go.

this is just my example-i could use this in everything in everyday life-i panic before picking the children up from school but if i get a call to pick someone elses children up from a party or somewhere at the eleventh hour, i just do it. the point is is that if i have warning.........i get ill. if something is sprung on me i'm not too bad

lou xxxxx

I can identify with this. Right now, I simply do not make plans in advance for anything, even a trip to pick up groceries. Example - yesterday morning I woke up and had some energy and the anxiety seemed to be very low. I immediately got dressed and headed out to do my marketing for the week. I keep a grocery list in my wallet, so there was nothing to delay me from getting underway. While I did experience some anxiety in the store, I was able to keep it under control and get the shopping done.

Today a friend called and wanted to know if I wanted to meet him at a local coffee shop I love to go to - I said yes and was off. No time to contemplate the possibility of having a panic attack. While I did have anxiety while there, it was manageable - and I managed to stay there for a solid hour.

If I take much time to plan right now, it makes it possible to dwell on the possibilities and work myself into a state about what MIGHT happen. If I simply jump in with as little thought ahead of time as possible, I stand a much better chance of being able to manage the anxiety and stay out of the house for a little longer.

I long for the day when once again I can plan something in advance and actually look forward to it with pleasure, rather than seeing it as a chore that must be endured.

[minihaha]

i am completely the same jellybean - i agree to plans and make plans and feel really happy about it and then once the euphoria wears off i start making all kinds of reasons why i shouldn't go........

whenever we go away and stay in hotels, b&b etc i always make sure my hubby gets the emergency procedure ingrained in his mind - ie i say to him "do you know what our room number is etc should i need an ambulance" bless him, he plays along with me and nods dutifully !!!!

we went to the lakes last year and apart from a bit of a scary drive on the m6 , i was fine and actaully managed to enjoy myself and not phone my neighbour every half hour to make sure my house hadn't burned down in a freak fire or i had left the kitchen tap on.

ps - good on you for getting through the haircut ordeal - i hate the hairdressers too so i can relate to how it makes you feel. xxxxxxxxxx

[Little Soooz]

I get this all the time too, can be with any "nice" thing, things I should (and would have a few years ago) enjoyed, mainly for me its nights out and parties, in the process of planning a party for my friends birthday at the moment, its not til the end of may so im all excited at the moment and planning my outfit, altho i know when the evening comes my boyfriend will have to drag me out of the door! Its very strange and annoying but you're not alone :) i also have the holiday problem, i am due to go to devon in july for my cousins wedding, i live in leicester so its quite a long way.. again at the minute I'm looking forward to it but when it comes around I dont know quite how im gona cope
i hope you manage to enjoy your holiday :)
well done on your haircut tho!! thats brilliant, i cut my own coz im too scared to go to the hairdresser unless i really force myself!!

xxx

[domino]

hi, i,m off to see the family tomorrow, on the train, as i hate motorways, but it still makes me feel anxious, well i,m going as i have,nt seen all the family all together in ages, my neice has arrived back from oz/new zealand just last week so ca,nt wait to see her.I,ll get though it i have to, i want to live my life ,not sit a moan about it to others.

[bab]

this is totally me

holidays

concerts

the park

going out for dinner

[hazey-babe]

Hi,
Just read your posts and thought that is me too. I always worry for weeks before something good so end up in a total state and usually ruin it as the panic has built up so much that I then have a panic about panicing!!!!
I'm glad to see that it is not just me as I just thought I was loopy. I haven't been abroad for years as "What if I get ill on the plane going!!!"
The furthest I've been from home in 6 years is about an hour away. This is one of the reasons why my marriage is on the brink of separation as it is very hard to fight the panic. I'm sure you will have a great time in the Lakes. Hope the weather is not bad for you
Love Hazel xoox:hugs:

[munchkin555]

hi i get that too but thinking about it, its probably coz u r so anxious about being anxious etc that u get anxiety!!
mad eh? the more u try to make yourself feel normal the worse it gets!
xxx

[louwilliams]

one of the reasons me and my childrens dad split up was because he loves going abroad and i refused after going to florida with the kids-i was completely terrified (it was my first flight so thought i would be ok) and swore i'd never ever set foot on an aeroplane ever again. to be fair to him i understand what he was saying-he wanted to see the world but not on his own. my partner now keeps threatening to book somewhere but ive told him point blank i will not get on a plane- will drive to spain if i have to go there but thats it-i think thats an OK comprimise but he's not happy but hey...tough lol

[celeste]

Hi,
Just read your posts and thought that is me too. I always worry for weeks before something good so end up in a total state and usually ruin it as the panic has built up so much that I then have a panic about panicing!!!!
I'm glad to see that it is not just me as I just thought I was loopy. I haven't been abroad for years as "What if I get ill on the plane going!!!"
The furthest I've been from home in 6 years is about an hour away. This is one of the reasons why my marriage is on the brink of separation as it is very hard to fight the panic. I'm sure you will have a great time in the Lakes. Hope the weather is not bad for you
Love Hazel xoox:hugs:


I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. My panic affected mine badly but my husband never made any attempt to understand. In fact he made it worse by mocking me etc. The more horrid he was to me the worse the anxiety got & more limited my world became. He ended up having an affair & left 2 years ago after 14 years marriage.we were yogether since age 15. I have to say I am so much better without him. Having someone who constantly undermined my efforts at a normal life was no help at all. I can honestly say that as far as I'm concerned I wouldn't have made the progress I have if i was still with him.
I just wanted you to know that whatever happens you are a strong person. Anyone who has to live with anxiety is incredibly strong just to get through each day intact. Never forget that.
It would be so easy to give in sometimes.
I thought that i would never survive without him...but the opposite is true. I was scared stiff of being on my own but it really has been a relief. I think its because I can now give into the feelings sometimes without feeling stupid, i can cry when i want, I can get angry when i want. I can deal with all these feelings without being scared of what he'll think. I kept alot of it hidden & it crucified me as a person. Don't be scared of what will hapeen. if your marriage survives then thats great. If it doesn't...you will be fine.

Best wishes :hugs:

[louwilliams]

Celeste, I have said literally the same thing to Hazel, as I'm sure she'll confirm lol I am the same as you.my partner undermines it and basically says its all in my head and its just an excuse to be lazy lol Difference is, I'm leaving him and he doesnt know it-ive had enough and realised i cant and wont get better while i'm with him.

Anyway, this is getting away from the main thread but just wanted to say that I'm the same as you celeste and HAZE..... you'll be fine gal and remember to PM me if you want to chat xxxxxxx

[twinkletoes_141]

Yes jellybean, as with the many others who've replied, I also get this kind of anxiety! holidays are pretty much my worst thing- i get a huge urge to go on them, but then about 2 days before i tend to check myself for lumps and bumps, signs and symptoms, and find something, then end up having to go and see a foreign doctor whilst im out there or phone my english GP.

The funny thing about me though is that i am actually very ambitious, which kind of completely works in opposition with my anxiety. But when it comes to going away my anxiety ALWAYS wins. i recently was meant to be going travelling for 6-9 months with friends (huge step considering i get panicky after a week!), to the point where i was planning dates to fly out to australia, routes to take etc. It's something ive always had an urge to do, but after a few months of planning i sat down and thought of what it would be like to panic in a place like thailand and not be at home for over half a year- and i think i would have a breakdown! i am still determined to do it, but i don't want to push myself over the anxiety edge if there is such a thing!

i hope your holiday goes well, i would say try and have as jam-packed holiday as possible, rather than sitting and 'relaxing'. I went on one in july with my boyfriend and his whole family- being with 15 other people was quite a distraction and that has been my only successfull holiday in 5 years!

Good Luck!

amy xxxxxx

[clair7]

hi jellybean! i can totally relate to what u said. Im going to a concert in june and iv been worrying about it since february! eventhough im seeing my favourite band and im kind of excited to be going, i cant help but dread it and feel anx about being anx whilst im there lol! Think the build up to things is much worse than the thing itself, the worry of doing something completely takes over what ever it is we want to do. hope that makes sense!
i always try and have a back up plan for if the worst happenss which helps to put my mind at rest.
well done with the haidressers:yesyes: . mine comes to the house and even then i get panicky! oh well, such is life!!:D