Embarrassing...but ...

[FreeFalling]

Hello again,
I just wanted to share something somewhat embarrassing:blush: , plus I was just curious if anyone else out there has ever done this because they felt so...scared, helpless and frankly just thought that they were about to die ?

This just happened this past weekend. My boyfriend and I had driven up to the mountains and rented a cabin. There was no phone and the nearest house was 15 miles away down the mountain.

My boyfriend left at 6:30 AM to go wild turkey hunting for the day.
I was looking forward to a nice day of R & R. ( RIGHT ! )

Next thing I know my chest is getting really tight & I have a very sharp pain in it, I have trouble breathing, I get this really odd feeling like something is crawling in my throat and an unbearable preassure in my head and ears like my head will explode at any given moment.
I can swear I can almost taste blood in my throat.
I'm sorry to be so graphic. Just wondering if this happens to others ?
The room also starts to become very bright and I start to lose my balance.
Meaning when I stand up I immeadiatley start to fall backward.

The embarrassing part is...I was so convinced that I might die
( heart attack ? ) that I grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down my symptoms quickly and then proceeded to write a quick goodbye letter to my children and loved ones :blush:. Has anyone else ever gone that far ?

Needless to say...I didn't have to show it to anyone.

I felt very foolish, but at the same time I was stranded up on the mountain for 8 hours until my boyfriend got back.
He has very little understanding or compassion for this...

I felt very alone, and still do as I don't know anyone here in the States that deals with this sort of problem.

Glad I found the board, I can't say that enough :)

~Rebecca

[Leahfackrell]

it is understandable that you felt that way considering that you were so far from civilization. i honestly wouldve done the exact same thing, right now my bf is away fishing and has ben gone for 9 days and when i am alone at night i get my panic attacks really bad. i am only 24 years old and i have written my will and living will because sometimes my attacks feel so realy like i am going to die. i have gotten my heart checked because my chest pains feel like i am having a heart attack and being overweight worries me even more. i think that sometimes we need to do things such as write goodbye notes when we are having an attack because it makes a part of us feel better that we are at least doing that much. it almost makes us feel like we are being noticed and that we may not be so crazy if there was something actually wrong with us. writing down your symptoms is an even better idea though because over time you can compare your symptoms and see if they have gotten better or worse. if they get better then we feel better because we know that we can keep them under control and if they get worse then we just need to find ways of relaxing. i hope that you keep them under control and dont feel silly for anything that you do during an attack because its only that, an attack.

[Tom_M]

I've had a few encounters where I was sure I was dying, and probably was very close to it. That's when I had undiagnosed sleep apnoea. I'd wake up struggling to breath and sure It was my last moments on earth. It was very scary indeed. Now I have to ware a mask connected to a machine while sleeping.
But if I where you I'd get checked out just to be on the safe side.

[FreeFalling]

Thanks Tom ,

Yes, I've been thinking about having it checked out....
Our health care system here in the States is terrible. If your'e not insured
( I'm not ) it is TERRIBLY expensive. So , I have to really figure out...is this worth going to the Dr. for and spending $1000.00's on, or will they just send me home again as they did 3 years ago and say
" It's Just Panick Attacks ". I love that.. JUST panic attacks...if they only knew.

I'm sorry you are going through what you are, but I hope the mask is giving you some relief.

Take good care, and thanks again.

~Rebecca

[FreeFalling]

Hey there Leah,

Thanks for your thoughtful reply and sharing. I can imagine it being very difficult being at home alone for that long of a time. Do you have friends and family near by ?

By the way, I replied to your post about the odd sensation of the shaky feeling in the head. You might want to go read that. You have a Kindred spirit here.

Thanks for making me feel less foolish for writing the notes.
You're right, it wasn't such a bad idea after all !
I will write my symptoms down from now on.

Now that I think about it, while I was writing this down it distracted me enough to where things started to slow down a bit.

Take good care of yourself,

~Rebecca

PS. Where in the States do you live ? I live in Nashville TN

[heatwave]

I got up in the night once and started to arrange all my personal effects, such as insurance policies and birth certificates etc, into order as I wanted people to be able to find them in case I died. Well, I'm still here and that was some time ago now!

[freakedout]

Hi FreeFalling

I have never written any notes, but I have certainly felt so freaked out during a panic attack that I thought I would die. Luckily for me I dont get chest pains, but I do get palpatations and it feels as though my heart will flip right out of my chest and land on the floor. For me I feel like I cannot breath and I feel like I will choke to death, my throat goes tight and I feel as though I will swallow my tongue, I start hyperventilating and that causes dizziness and I can feel the pumping of my blood through my head somehow. It is awful, I can really understand how you feel.

I know it is panic attacks causing my symptoms, but knowing what the cause does not help me, it does not stop them from happening, and it does not stop me from thinking I will choke to death at the time. The power of my thoughts is as yet beyond my control. I have had panic attacks for around 14 years.

You will find lots of people on this site who have good advice and positive stories to tell, I hope that you get the support that you need here.

Take care

Freaky

[Bill]

Hello Rebecca:hugs: ,

I felt very alone, and still do as I don't know anyone here in the States that deals with this sort of problem.

Glad I found the board, I can't say that enough :smile:

I'd like to ask you to do me a favour and read my post under "General Anxiety" titled "What to do?" because after what you've typed above, I'd like your opinion. You'll see why. Thank you.:hugs:

I can also appreciate what you say about being able to afford being ill because my brother in the USA says exactly the same as you!!! We may complain about our waiting lists over here but I still think we're lucky to have an NHS which we should do our best to keep because peoples health should come before finance.

It certainly sounds like a panic attack probably because you felt vulnerable on your own in a strange isolated place but I'm glad you were ok.:hugs:

[Bill]

Hello Rebecca:hugs: ,

I just wanted to thank you and that I've sent you a message so I hope you receive it ok. Thank you:hugs:

[marie1974]

Hi There, sorry to here you are feeling this way, panic attacks usually occur when something triggers them, even something tiny and yours is probably because of where you are and not knowing anyone, they will in time get better. you will find that so many people go through the same thing with panic attacks, i think keeping busy is great and mayb walking, jogging or a bit of exercise of any kind it always helped me infact it took them away. anyway you will get loads of support here xxxx