in need of advice!!

[bell23]

Hi all, ive been in a state of high anxiety for about 2 months now ever since i had an anxiety attack, but i feel as though im losing my mind. I feel as though things arent real it is hard to describe but like i question life in general like why are we here and find it unbeliveable. Im so scared i have moments of clarity and i think i shouldnt be bothered by these things but im in a constant state of fear and dread. Does anybody else have these existenal thoughts and constant feelings of unreality i feel like im never going to get better, i see nothing else apart from ending up in a mental hospital, ive gone from an ambitous lad looking forward to the future maybe having my own bussiness one day to this complete reck whos only ambition is to be at peace again. Everyday seems like a battle im determined to get through it i have too but im struggling.

Sorry if this is a bit depressing guys but i had to get it of my chest.:weep:

[cassi23]

Hiya hun,

When i was first diagnosed with anxiety i was like this exactly - would constantly question why we're all here and would it be so bad to die etc even though that was what i feared the most.

In the end i was scared of the fear and the feelings it brought itself.

I too thought i would never get better, but its these negative thoughts that hinder us, have you seen a doctor? I was given meds to take all the time but now i only take them as and when.

You should prob see your gp, they can reassure you and help you.

Hope you feel better asap

Char xxx

[ashes1119]

hey bell - it's completely normal to feel like this. In fact it's a good sign that you are questioning life and it's meaning (or lack thereof), I feel people who do this often are not crazy or depressed or anything just smart and introspective :) I'm an atheist and these questions and lack of answers, or lack of any good answers always get me down but when they do, as corny as it sounds, I just watch a movie I love or go outside and walk around and think of all the ways that life is beautiful. Think positively and just be thankful for what you have and that you are living because, well, there aren't really any alternatives or answers but is that so bad? try to live in the present.

[teabag]

Hey Bell

Am totally with you on this one. Its such a weird sensation but as ashes says it just means that you are introspective. The feeling of never going to get better is scary and makes you miserable. I take a long walk whenever i get this feeling and sometimes it makes me feel happier. Good luck! xx

[bell23]

Thanks for the replies guys im trying to think positive but i feel like im in a black cloud i cant seem to find a positive i just keep battleing on. Ive been on 10mg of citrolopram for 2 weeks im not sure its done anything apart from at first when i felt sick!!

[mlazar]

Totally know what you're talking about. For the first 22 years of my life things weren't phenomenal (who am I kidding, they were great), but I always thought life was passable. Didn't really have a care in the world, didn't get worried about anything. Had a great balance of everything, thought I had it figured out.

My father started getting sick about a year ago. Last summer, he was diagnosed with a tomato-sized Stage IV glioblastoma in his brain. He was in surgery LESS than 48 hours later. He's still with us, but he has never recovered. He's suffered strokes, pulminary embolisms (blood clots in lungs) since then, and chemo itself nearly killed him. I cannot imagine someone have a worse "go" of cancer. Meanwhile, I myself have developed an unhealthy, morbid fear of the disease and have been a victim of constant, raging hypochondria ever since.

Essentially it shattered me.

I was never devoutly religious, but I was fairly spiritual. Spirituality has been replaced with biology, for me. I find myself CONSTANTLY asking the big questions you're talking about. Thinking about death, mortality, why we are (not) here. Views of the universe as nothing more than coincidentally mapped together chemicals and energies frightens the hell out of me, but it's all I can see now. I think these feelings are generally normal with exposure to a trauma or heightened anxiety.

You're certainly not alone.