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nikk_dolittle
26-04-08, 14:41
Hey all,

I know all I do on here is moan and want Hugs, But please can I have someÖ

This is a hard month for me what with it being 3 years I opened up to the police about being abused and being told I was lying about it all. I feel I cant open up to anyone about it now and when I try I get it thrown back to me more than I should. Iím trying to get by this but its dragging me down loads L And 2 weeks ago I had the problems with my abuser too, trying to get to me again and wouldnít leave me alone so Iím waiting on the outcome of the police on that.

Sorry
Also it was my aunties funeral yesterday and I didnít make it, I stayed home thinking how much of a failure I am, and all this. My dad made a complete idiot of himself while he was there and after, he was drinking when he is not supposed too, then he came home and took things out on me and said Iím a bad person and should get my act together and all this, now I feel its true and am hating myself again because of everything. I know I should take it to heart like I have but I cant help it, then he blamed me for making him want to drink more which he did and I was getting the blame for it. Then late last night he got rushed into hospital again and is there now having test down, itís the 5th time he has been in there in 6 months, I donít know whatís wrong he wont tell me. Iím so worried Iím going to lose him.

Sorry, sorry, sorry

Iím sat here crying and shaking just wishing I could be invisible from anything or run and hide and nothing can go wrong. And not let 3 million things on my chest when I cant talk to anyone about them. I donít understand anything anymore. The way things are I donít think I can the course in September but I cant not go now.

Iím sorry to moan all the time, just donít know what else to do anymore. Sorry its just so hard to anything when Iím Panicking whatís happening next. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

Nikk xxxx:weep:

smudgie
26-04-08, 15:07
:hugs: Hi Nikk

Dont beat yourself up Nikk your worth more than that, somebody else took alot of things away from you, stripped you of your strengh, estem dignity the list is endless.

I to was abused and been through the systom of the police and got no where I when found out my ex hubby was abusing my daughter so Ive been there.

You have nothing to be sorry about , you need someone to put their arms around you and hold you tight:hugs: and help you come through this. but from the sounds of it your not getting that.

It very difficult going to the police and being made to look like your the baddy you want the truth to be heard.:hugs:

Im so sorry to hear of your Aunties loss, you have so much going on I wish I could help.
Pm me if you want to talk , Im here for you

Take care and sending you a big hug:bighug1:
love
ness

margaret911
26-04-08, 20:03
Sending you lots of hugs Nikk, :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: ,it will get better again and your so going to enjoy your course in september, you are going to be a fab vet.
lots of love and kisses and hugs
Mags xxxxx

debera
26-04-08, 20:55
sending you big hugs nikk
love debera:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

Granny Primark
27-04-08, 10:18
Big big :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: nikk.
Keep your chin up and think of all youve got look forward to in september.

Loads of love
LYNN xx

Lindalou64
27-04-08, 16:31
Aww Sorry Nikk.....please Dont Blame Yaself Hun...your A Good Person And You Are Doing Good Dont Lose That......big Hugs Hun For Ya.......love Linda

chalky
27-04-08, 16:49
Hi Nikk,

Have some hugs from me.

:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

Best wishes,
Chalky

dawny
27-04-08, 16:50
nikk,

come on hun, you have been doing so well lately and youv'e got so much to look forward too.

i hope you feel better with things soon.

always thinking of you, my lovely friend
take care

dawny

thevoicewithinme
27-04-08, 16:54
Hi Nikk,

You are not a bad person hun, and always always keep telling yourself that.

Sending big hugs your way.

Kaz

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: