nikk_dolittle
26-04-08, 14:41
Hey all,
I know all I do on here is moan and want Hugs, But please can I have some…
This is a hard month for me what with it being 3 years I opened up to the police about being abused and being told I was lying about it all. I feel I cant open up to anyone about it now and when I try I get it thrown back to me more than I should. I’m trying to get by this but its dragging me down loads L And 2 weeks ago I had the problems with my abuser too, trying to get to me again and wouldn’t leave me alone so I’m waiting on the outcome of the police on that.
Sorry
Also it was my aunties funeral yesterday and I didn’t make it, I stayed home thinking how much of a failure I am, and all this. My dad made a complete idiot of himself while he was there and after, he was drinking when he is not supposed too, then he came home and took things out on me and said I’m a bad person and should get my act together and all this, now I feel its true and am hating myself again because of everything. I know I should take it to heart like I have but I cant help it, then he blamed me for making him want to drink more which he did and I was getting the blame for it. Then late last night he got rushed into hospital again and is there now having test down, it’s the 5th time he has been in there in 6 months, I don’t know what’s wrong he wont tell me. I’m so worried I’m going to lose him.
Sorry, sorry, sorry
I’m sat here crying and shaking just wishing I could be invisible from anything or run and hide and nothing can go wrong. And not let 3 million things on my chest when I cant talk to anyone about them. I don’t understand anything anymore. The way things are I don’t think I can the course in September but I cant not go now.
I’m sorry to moan all the time, just don’t know what else to do anymore. Sorry its just so hard to anything when I’m Panicking what’s happening next. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
Nikk xxxx:weep:
I know all I do on here is moan and want Hugs, But please can I have some…
This is a hard month for me what with it being 3 years I opened up to the police about being abused and being told I was lying about it all. I feel I cant open up to anyone about it now and when I try I get it thrown back to me more than I should. I’m trying to get by this but its dragging me down loads L And 2 weeks ago I had the problems with my abuser too, trying to get to me again and wouldn’t leave me alone so I’m waiting on the outcome of the police on that.
Sorry
Also it was my aunties funeral yesterday and I didn’t make it, I stayed home thinking how much of a failure I am, and all this. My dad made a complete idiot of himself while he was there and after, he was drinking when he is not supposed too, then he came home and took things out on me and said I’m a bad person and should get my act together and all this, now I feel its true and am hating myself again because of everything. I know I should take it to heart like I have but I cant help it, then he blamed me for making him want to drink more which he did and I was getting the blame for it. Then late last night he got rushed into hospital again and is there now having test down, it’s the 5th time he has been in there in 6 months, I don’t know what’s wrong he wont tell me. I’m so worried I’m going to lose him.
Sorry, sorry, sorry
I’m sat here crying and shaking just wishing I could be invisible from anything or run and hide and nothing can go wrong. And not let 3 million things on my chest when I cant talk to anyone about them. I don’t understand anything anymore. The way things are I don’t think I can the course in September but I cant not go now.
I’m sorry to moan all the time, just don’t know what else to do anymore. Sorry its just so hard to anything when I’m Panicking what’s happening next. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
Nikk xxxx:weep: