Scared to death

[cotto0414]

My name is Barbara I have suffered from anxiety and depression for the last 12 years. I have been told that it may be due to PTSD. I was abused by my stepfather for years and he recently committed suicide which for some reason has intensified my attacks. I have anxiety about everything but health issues seem to triger my anxiety most of the time. I worry about my daughters health as well as my own. I get very strong heart palpitations. Cold than hot flashes. Chest pain shooting pain that never seems to localize itself. Over the years with therapy I am sometimes able to talk myself down but it doesn't always work. I have never seen a site like this before. I stumbled on it and I feel an overwhelming feeling of peace realizing that there really are people out there that understand what I am going through. I have trouble leaving the house sometimes and I was practically homebound for two years. My husband left me because of the sickness that I was not able to overcome. I want more than anything to feel normal. No depression that keeps me up all night and forces me to nap during the day. One day that I can be outside playing with my daughter bing the mother that I know is inside of me. An evening without feeling like my heart is going too explode inside my chest. I don't want to think about dying all the time. I want to believe the doctor that tells me I am healthy. Maybe I am asking a lot but I need to believe that this will get better, because if I didnt I dont think that this life would be worth living.

I want to thank all of you for your wonderful stories of hope and your personal stories of despair, because it really is nice to know that I am not alone.

Thank you
Barbara

[Angel64]

Hi Barbara, you are definately not alone, I found this site in late December and it really has been a great help, the bad times don't seem half as bad when I know I can pop in here and get the support off those who have been there and understand.

Some virtual hugs to help you along your journey to wellness :hugs: :hugs:

Christine xx :flowers:

[milly jones]

hi lovely,
this site is wonderful.
everyone is at different places in their journey, but ALL are here to help. come to chatroom and well share stories xx
all my love
milly xxxxxxxxxx

[Lilith1980]

Hi Barbara

Welcome to NMP :)

You will get some great advice and support here :hugs:

Jo xxxxx

[thevoicewithinme]

Hello and welcome to NMP.

You will find lots of useful information and advice here and will also meet lots of new people who truly understand you.

Kaz

[nannypink]

hello my name is lynne and i just wanted to say...please try to overcome your fears as life is so short and the days we spend worrying are days absolutely wasted.....try to accept that what will be will be healthwise....stress is more harmful than u think....i find it helpful to listen to others probs as that way it takes u mind off u own worries....get as much fresh air as is poss as this is a huge stress buster.....and make a list of all u worries....cross all those off that are out of ur control....and the list will be shorter by the day.....and remember...LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE..... kind regards .....linda

[Lindalou64]

Hello Barbra And Welcome.....just Know This Shall Pass It Does Get Better Takes Alot Of Work And To Stay Positive I Know Its Hard Been There And Still Sometimes Im Back Again But No Its All Ok.and It Will For You Also Keep The Faith........wish Ya Well,......linda

[kellie]

hiya Barbara :welcome: to nmp its lovely to have you here :biggrin: . you will get lots of support/advice and make some great friends along the way. dont forget to visit the chat room where you can talk to us all.
take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Joe1981]

:welcome: to the site! :D

[chalky]

Hi Barbara,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
There are people here who will understand the horrors you have survived.
You can and will get better.
Keep believing in yourself.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx

[Nibbles]

Hi and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :smile: