Hello All - Emotional rollercoaster

[mcfarlandmar]

Hello everyone,

My name is Mark. I found this site by chance while looking for anxiety sites through google. I have had it stored on my favs for months and always read the stories and experiences you all lead. It has helped me a lot to deal with my anxiety experience and it is only now I have plucked the courage to join and say hi!

I have been suffering with anxiety for nearly 3 years now. It has been a very very diverrse experience for me and that is why I explained the topic as being a roller coaster. I have no idea why my anxiety started, but it did. As a result it affected my university experience, my working life and my happiness. I have been on meds in the past, had some private counselling, even read claire weekes!! (excellent book).

The problem I seem to experience and I would really appreciate it if anyone else could post if they feel the same, I can never remain well for a long period of time. I think I have cracked the whole anxiety thing, battled the demons inside, but then it moves onto something new. It really is a horrible feeling of thought paralysis and as much as I do read books and read this web site, sometimes it gets the better of you and you lose control. At the moment I feel like an emotional wreck, i feel I have lost control and anxiety does play a major part in my life.

I always try to say to myself look Mark, this is affecting your job, happiness, sociability, so come on pull along or it will only worsen. At times this does work, but it is being able to apply it to all areas of my life, so i do not become frightehed or panic at the most stupid things.

i do enjoy my job, it is something I can focus on, but even there at times I feel strong anxiety feelings. Last year up until jan I went 4-5 months without an anxiety attack or rush to the toliet in the morning. It all started again in jan and I felt such a failure and really thought there was no way out of this nightmare!!

Does anyone else feel this way??

Thanks for listening

Mark

[jude]

Hi Mark,

Hello and welcome to the site.

I think we all feel like you do, the despair at thinking we are never going to recover.
The problem is fear of fear- as Claire Weekes explained in her books- the symptoms will return at the slightest chance if we still fear them.
Trying to overcome the fear is hard. I too feel as though I cannot think, but your inner voice is always there, no matter how quiet it seems. If we can self talk, then we can think...so our thoughts cannot be paralysed.
If I understand you correctly, this feeling you mention is the one of thoughts receding into the back of your mind, and sometimes feeling as though someone else is controlling them. This feeling is part of depersonalisation. There are many posts about this on the forum. Check them out.
Jude x

[Annette]

Hi Mark and welcome,

I am new here too and have just been coming here for a few days now. It is a fantastic forum with lots of great people and I am sure you will find it as helpful as I do.
I am new to panic attacks so cannot really answer your question about recurrance but I am certain from the posts I have read thus far that many here will know how you feel and be able to give you useful advice and support.

Take Care

Annette x

[bluesparkle]

hi mark
i just wanted to say i was the same ..i found this site in october ...but it took me until about a month ago to start posting...and replying to people and ive even started going in the chat room...
i just want to say they are a great bunch on here...really friendly and helpful ...you will be made to feel very welcome.
and you are not a failure... and it is very normal to go some days/weeks/months ok ish then suffer again... i know it is different for all of us but there are many posts and advice on this site which will help you...
we all panic and get frightened at different things but they are not stupid things as they are very real to us when its happening...we just need to take control and find a way to cope. lots of people on here understand and relate to your problems and give good advice ...it is really nice knowing people understand isnt it...
i hope you get alot from this site
rach

[Meg]

Hi Mark,

The differing and new things are difficult to overcome - you may want to give us an example of a few of these so we can tailor the answers to your situation ?

Most of the time it is down to how you respond to something - a trigger of thought or body symptom. If your automatic response is to overreact, then anxiety will be the norm.

Many of us have had to learn to really underreact initially and ramp that up if the situation really needs it later.






Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[della]

hi marc

welcome to the site yes i understand what you are saying about life being a roller cooaster ride...i was like that for over 12yrs..HOWWEVER believe me it does get better and eventually you will get there.
Yes i also felt a failure many times...but PLEASE dont as long as you keep trying you are NEVER a failure try to focus on relaxation and the good things and when having a bad day accept it as JUST that and move forward.


take care [8D]

[seh1980]

hello Mark,

Welcome to the forum!! I think we have all felt like you're doing at some point but don't worry as you're not alone and there is hope...Hope we can help you out..

Sarah :D

[kairen]

hi mark

yes i can totally relate to what your saying i went 7 years without panics and then out of blue they started again, although never as bad as the first time, what you have to think is i got through this before i can do it again its just time, ive been of meds for 5 weeks and apart from today (LONG STORY LOL)
im doing good really determined to beat it this time,

as soon as i think something daft i stop myself before it escalates into something that i cant stop, still have bad days where i think im going to slip, but on the whole it getting better and more so because of the help and understandin you get on this site hope you feel a bit better try not to think of why its happening just take each day and try and think positive thought like what you would like to do if you felt a bit better, hope this helped a bit take care xx

kairen x

[mcfarlandmar]

Thank you all for your support. Its good to know there are others in the same boat. When I said earlier I can be well for a good length of time, it is due to a reassuring thought from myself, that I can get better.

Sometimes, however, it seems my panic escalates and my last reassuring thought no longer works!! So I try and search for another thought to help me move on. It can be something really simple like, there are millions of people who suffer with this, so lets try and move on.

I read in that claire weekes book that there wa sone person who had been suffering for months or even years with anxiety, becuase his thought were so negative and it was as if he was becomin paralysed mentally by his thoughts. I think she wrote she actually met this person and just by speaking to him, changing his frame of mind, or attitude it had a major improvement on him.

Thanks for the advice on relaxation, its not really a route I have been down but I will give it a go. I find my line of work can accelarte my symp[toms to. I am in a very competitive sales role at work, very targeted, I can perform very well, but it is keeping to this level that stresses me out. When I arrive home I am mentally tired but not physically tired and this too has a result on my sleeping.

The one thing I try not to do is linger on the past and think of how I was, becuase it only upsets me and gets me nowhere. May be the old me triggers anxiety in the first place??

Its so hard and you always hope the end of the battle is near, but like her book says anxiety is like your best friend and your worst enemy as it is always there!

[nomorepanic]

Hi Mark

Welcome to the forum and glad you decided to post at last.

I now suffer more from anxiety than panic but I have been suffering for 11 years now so that is a big part of my life.

The biggesst turn-around for me was meeting others in here and getting help and reassurance. Meg has been a real friend and at times just by talking to me she puts me back on track so yes talking does help.

I hope we can offer you some support and advice as well.

Nicola

[bubbles]

Mark,

Welcome to the forum & well done for plucking up the courage to post.

I think what you describe is a common experience for most anxiety sufferers. Anxiety strikes in many guises & often when we least expect it.

You seem to have found positive ways of dealing with it for much of the time---sometimes we just need a little boost, a bit of help from people who understand & can get us moving forwards again.
There are lots of friendly people here who will support you.
It will get easier as you find more ways to deal with it.

Hope things are calmer for you soon.


Linda. x

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.