so upset

[kairen]

hi i'm not sure if i am posting this in right box, Im just so mad upset etc, i feel like im right back at the start.


my husband has just had a go at me for being on here all the time, i;m so mad for the first time in my life i feel like i fit in some where i've met some lovely people and it has helped me so much and i refuse to feel guilty about this god i can hardly see screen for crying.

i work from home so sometimes i am up till long after midnight does he say any thing about that oh no. he does what he wants when he wants has a few pints every night in the pub,

Im just so upsett feel all churned up and i was doing so well, ive got to go to optician shortly he wont be able to see in my eyes at this rate lol

I cant believe he is being like this im so mad, i just sent him a 5 page text not that it will make any difference, i cant believe i feel right back to square one cos what do i do not come on here again just to keep his face straight i think not !!!

i doubt this made any sence just really needed to write it down cant stop crying.

kairen x

[jude]

Hi Kairen,

My hubby reacted in exactly the same way when I first found this site.

I just ignored him and he got used to it in the end:D

We must try to understand that our partners dont understand what we are going through and how hard it is. They can appear very selfish at times, but it is just because they dont know how bad we are feeling.

Try to explain to him that it is something you need to do for the time being. Dont get too worked up. It will all blow over. You just need to talk to him about how you feel

Take care
Jude x

[angieb]

Hi Kairen

It is only natural, I myself question myself some days and wonder why I feel the need to be on here so often!!!!

The answer is simple though, there is strength in numbers and realising that you are not alone, not mad and amongst friends gives you strength. Try not to make too much of what hubby said, it will just add to your stresses.

Take care and have a good day.

Angieb

[alexis]

Hi Kairen, keep your chin up pal, will pm later but just to let you know Im thinking of you, I think everybody else has said everything.
You are not back to the start, you know youve come a long way, it is just a blip which you dont have complete control over at the moment.Just work through it and be strong, easier said than done I know, talk later kairen. take care, xxxx

[Jan]

Hi Kairen

Sorry to hear your hubby is being a complete A@~E. Pay him no heed. He doesnt understand as he has never been through it. My hubby has comented on me being on here again! But feels that if it helps me it is good. Mind you the children will suffer. I am sure you havent gone back to where you were as its been said it is just a temporary blip and you will work through it. try to explain to him how you feel. let him read some of the intros so he can get an idea how everyone on here feels. Just keep talking about how you feel and how he makes you feel when he says that. Communication is the key. It will sink in eventually.

Take care xx

Janine

[Meg]

It is competely natural that if you have felt very isolated and struggling alone when you find somewhere that you get comfor and reassurance that you want to be there.

For some people reading about others horrible experiences does rub off and suggest new fears and families often object to that as you may talk about it at home and they think that its doing you more harm than good.

Other family members may quite have got used to the dependence you have on them and now see that transferring to here and are quite jealous that a website is taking time you used to spend with them.

Often its a case of really explaining what benefit you get from the site and showing how its helping you rather than it dissolving into a row about time on the net.

Thius isn't even an anxiety blip, this is a classic domestic... with all the normal emotional responses such as anger and resentment rather than the fear of an anxiety moment.

You are naturally angry and frustrated that he doesn't understand your needs and are expressing it and with this adrenalin is produced so you're getting a few of our well known symptoms.

Good on you for getting it out but you may want to also tackle it rationally to try to get his understanding.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[seh1980]

hello Kairen,

My bfriend says the same thing about me the whole time - that I ignore him and spend too much time writing posts. Your husband probably just feels left out and a little rejected. All you can do is explain to him how you feel about this site and how much it has helped you - I'm sure he will understand, especially once he has seen a positive change in your condition.

Sarah :D

[kairen]

hi again

thanks every one for the replies, i,ve calmed down a bit now. retail theropy with his money LOL,

no seriously thanks every one i think it will take me a while to get used to the fact that every time something upsets me im not going to go into a blinding panic,

thanks guys xxxxx

kairen x

[henri]

lol kairen!
glad you are feeling better. i really just wanted to tell you that you musn't allow your husband to make you feel guilty. i have the same thing with my boyfriend - he gets upset when i'm on the website, when i'm feeling a bit anxious and can't eat, etc.
stick to your guns and don't let him upset you.
take care,
henri x

[fairy]

Hi Kairen, sorry to hear you've had a bad day, glad you're feeling a bit better now. Take care x

[sal]

Hi Kairen

It must be hard for partners to accept that you have found somewhere that you feel helped and you have a lot of support. He will be feeling insecure and not sure how to react. In time when he sees the benfit you have gained i am sure he will appreciate the time you have spent on here. Include him let him see what you have posted and what people have said in return.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[kairen]

hi space thanks,

If anything things are worse, I cant believe he is being so selfish, and im just so mad at him i cant even look at him, havent spoke since, he did say he didnt mean it like that but how else could he have meant it, im at the point where i just dont care, im not going to feel guilty over this "though i do and that is making me madder" aaaaahhhh PMT as well, mind i think the b6 is working i jumped when he came in last night and then got mad at myself,

He totally pleases himself in and out when he likes aaaahhhhhhhhhh
im so mad at him selfish pig LOL LOL

Apart from that im having a good day LOL

kairen x